Hey guys!
So I am doing much much better today and I thank you guys so much for your condolences. :)
I've gotten over the depressed sadness, now I just get weirded out by anything that deals with pets and also I don't much like my backyard. I can deal with that I suppose...
The water fast didn't happen because my body absolutely rebelled against me. It was ridiculous. So I'm just full time liquid fasting. The only problem with me is that I don't see liquids as food. And I don't count cals like I'm supposed to!!! It's driving me crazy because I sit in bed somedays and just calculate my cals for the day and I want to jump out the nearest window! I have to get it below 500cals for me to feel good. I estimate my morning smoothie (it's just a cup) as 100-120 cals. That's not a bad way to start the day but I find myself constantly drinking stuff that is not water. So I think I'm going to start blocking out times when I can have nothing but water. Like after my smoothie, nothing before 4pm. Like I used to do when I was eating food. And then I have to treat everything like it counts because IT DOES.
I haven't been killing it with my workouts lately. Just going for my morning power walk and then getting in like an hour of walking in place. It's not bad it's just not good enough.
I am now seriously under the gun. It is almost august and my semester starts august 23. If I'm going to look amazing I need to step it up. I just checked the rosters for my classes and it looks like A might be in my section of circuit analysis. I'm not positive because idk if I'm seeing the roster for my section or ALL the sections. Still though, fate would have him in my class. I must look magnificent. I MUST. I WILL. So I am going to start pushing harder than ever. I have to use this time to the best of my ability because once school starts, I'll probably have until september before the workload starts getting heavy and my time starts running short. It'll be mid to late september when I finally learn my professor's pattern and find a system of how to handle it all. I'm currently cleaning my room and I'm going to redecorate and automate. I will be the organization spaz this semester and have everything blocked in. I will miss NOTHING.
I know what you're thinking: goodness scarlet you're putting so much pressure on yourself! I'm not afraid of pressure. It makes me stronger, proves that I am strong, and pressure is the only way to make a diamond.
175 is the base goal for August 23. If I can get lower than that yay me. I need to get more serious than ever. The new freshmen are coming in, A is probably going to be in my class, I need new friends and a guy for once in my life. None of that will turn out the way I want unless I am skinny. It's not that I don't think I'm likable or pretty or anything bad about myself really. I'm damn smart, funny, cute, and witty, but unless you're slim/thin/skinny, you might as well nab harry potter's invisibility cloak because NO ONE will notice you. Trust me, I've lived through it most of my life. I'm alive dammit and I want people to recognize that. So I will open their eyes. I will make them see. I am fucking awesome, and yes you want to hang out with me, yes you want to ask me out, yes you want to sit next to me in class, yes you want to talk to me. The question is: do I want to do any of those things with you?
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
PS: hello to those lovely new followers!! Hello to those lovely regular followers! I love you and I looove your comments!! <3
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Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Loss...
I'm doing okay today, still juice fasting, switching over to water tomorrow.
I am not my normal happy self though. My dog died yesterday. Well, he probably died the night before but I discovered him yesterday morning. It wasn't pretty. Damn the summer heat and heartless flies.
I always knew it was coming. I mean he was like 17 yrs old. Cocker spainels under the best of best care are only expected to live max 15. I wasn't the best of best care, my dog was just awesome. I miss him. He was the one person I knew would never turn on me. Ever. My best friend. And now I'm on my own. I mean my parents love me, but Baby knew more about me than they could ever know. He was perfectly content to sit on my lap for hours and let me pet him and tell him all of my thoughts. He was never judgemental. I was never wrong nor right. It was the perfect balance. Now my balance is broken.
I will probably never get another dog again. I can't take the pain when they leave. I will probably never eat pasta again, I was on my way to feed him when I discovered him. I'll probably be amazing this coming semester because I'm burying the pain in work. I'm doing it at my job. I'm doing it at home. I'm doing it with my fasting. Everytime I start focusing too much on the loss I give myself a task and go into headfirst. It's working, how he looked when I found him is starting to be neatly tucked far far away into my subconscious. I'm starting to only see him as he was when he was alive, which is good. I'm doing a lot better today, I was absolutely traumatized yesterday. I've had him since I was four. I was the last one in my house to meet him(I was at school when my parents got him at the anti-cruelty society) and I was the first one to know he was gone. It's really shitty. I'm trying not to get depressed. But it's hard. I want to water fast so badly. So I can feel the pain on the outside that I do on the inside. I need a distraction.
On the food side of things, I know laxies are a bad idea. I've had problems with them before. Thankfully things seem to be moving smoothly on my juice fast, so maybe I'll hold off.
I can't answer comments right now, I'll comment on you guys' blogs still though. I'm trying to be happier. I'm trying. But it hurts like hell. I'll be really peppy for a while and then feel really low. Like now. I am feeling low. Ugh, hopefully I spring back soon, Baby wouldn't want me to be this way. That was his name btw. Baby. He was afraid of thunder and the dark. He was a ham for attention. He was accident prone. He was crazy smart. He could get out of any cage unless it was secured with a chain. He snored like an old man. He was hyper as hell. He hated vegetables but would eat anything else you set in front of him. He was my best friend.
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
I am not my normal happy self though. My dog died yesterday. Well, he probably died the night before but I discovered him yesterday morning. It wasn't pretty. Damn the summer heat and heartless flies.
I always knew it was coming. I mean he was like 17 yrs old. Cocker spainels under the best of best care are only expected to live max 15. I wasn't the best of best care, my dog was just awesome. I miss him. He was the one person I knew would never turn on me. Ever. My best friend. And now I'm on my own. I mean my parents love me, but Baby knew more about me than they could ever know. He was perfectly content to sit on my lap for hours and let me pet him and tell him all of my thoughts. He was never judgemental. I was never wrong nor right. It was the perfect balance. Now my balance is broken.
I will probably never get another dog again. I can't take the pain when they leave. I will probably never eat pasta again, I was on my way to feed him when I discovered him. I'll probably be amazing this coming semester because I'm burying the pain in work. I'm doing it at my job. I'm doing it at home. I'm doing it with my fasting. Everytime I start focusing too much on the loss I give myself a task and go into headfirst. It's working, how he looked when I found him is starting to be neatly tucked far far away into my subconscious. I'm starting to only see him as he was when he was alive, which is good. I'm doing a lot better today, I was absolutely traumatized yesterday. I've had him since I was four. I was the last one in my house to meet him(I was at school when my parents got him at the anti-cruelty society) and I was the first one to know he was gone. It's really shitty. I'm trying not to get depressed. But it's hard. I want to water fast so badly. So I can feel the pain on the outside that I do on the inside. I need a distraction.
On the food side of things, I know laxies are a bad idea. I've had problems with them before. Thankfully things seem to be moving smoothly on my juice fast, so maybe I'll hold off.
I can't answer comments right now, I'll comment on you guys' blogs still though. I'm trying to be happier. I'm trying. But it hurts like hell. I'll be really peppy for a while and then feel really low. Like now. I am feeling low. Ugh, hopefully I spring back soon, Baby wouldn't want me to be this way. That was his name btw. Baby. He was afraid of thunder and the dark. He was a ham for attention. He was accident prone. He was crazy smart. He could get out of any cage unless it was secured with a chain. He snored like an old man. He was hyper as hell. He hated vegetables but would eat anything else you set in front of him. He was my best friend.
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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Monday, July 26, 2010
Rags To Riches
Hey guys!
Thank you guys soooooo much for the congratulations on my last post, I can't stop smiling!!!! :D
So today I'm juice fasting, and that's going to be up till thursday when I switch to water for four days. I know it's supposed to be reversed but aunt flo came today and all I want it carbscarbscarbs nomnomnom, not gonna happen, take this apple juice and stfu. So you see if I did water It'd be binge central which is totally unacceptable. I didn't weigh today and probably won't weigh the whole week. I have never been more terrified of my weights than this time of the month. I can gain between 2-11 lbs in water (yeah I know) so unless I want to risk causing myself to jump off the nearest cliff I will just mosey away from the scale...
The weekend wasn't awful. I mean I wasn't stuffing my face the whole time. On saturday we had a slice of cake a bakery for bfast (I know, like wtf that's not food) and then later we had dinner at a chinese restaurant. I had kung pao tofu which according to calorie king is like 500cals. Fine. Yesterday I had a banana and pb and j crackers for bfast and popcorn for lunch/dinner (big bag) and that was the day. So overall it was okay.
I saw Inception yesterday and OMFG that movie is amazingggg!!!! It also has my longest standing crush in it, aka joseph gordon leavitt. I have been crushing on that boy since he played Tommy in 3rd rock from the sun. He looks so adult and sexy now. Okay okay I'll stop! :) anyway, the movie is awesome and there are cute guys in it and you might come away googly eyed. @_@
In other news, today I wrote the guy who's over the grant that will pay me for my job and basically told him that I am broke and living off of peanut butter and crackers (not true, lol) and NOW I'm going to get some money on thursday!!!! Yayy!!!! That means saving money for new skinny cloths for school and buying some laxies. I miss them. I hate the laxi tea. I'm trying to stop the purging. Aaand I am sick of the weekend doing head trips on me. If I have laxi pills I can flush it all away!! Also, I can time them. Pills are awesome like that. I do a morning walk everyday at 7am, do you reeeaaalllyyyy think I'm going to trust a TEA not to hit at that time or *gasp* while I'm a WORK!?! Pills are dependable. So yay for that!
I think that is all for now so till next time, ciao dahlings! Lololol :)
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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Thank you guys soooooo much for the congratulations on my last post, I can't stop smiling!!!! :D
So today I'm juice fasting, and that's going to be up till thursday when I switch to water for four days. I know it's supposed to be reversed but aunt flo came today and all I want it carbscarbscarbs nomnomnom, not gonna happen, take this apple juice and stfu. So you see if I did water It'd be binge central which is totally unacceptable. I didn't weigh today and probably won't weigh the whole week. I have never been more terrified of my weights than this time of the month. I can gain between 2-11 lbs in water (yeah I know) so unless I want to risk causing myself to jump off the nearest cliff I will just mosey away from the scale...
The weekend wasn't awful. I mean I wasn't stuffing my face the whole time. On saturday we had a slice of cake a bakery for bfast (I know, like wtf that's not food) and then later we had dinner at a chinese restaurant. I had kung pao tofu which according to calorie king is like 500cals. Fine. Yesterday I had a banana and pb and j crackers for bfast and popcorn for lunch/dinner (big bag) and that was the day. So overall it was okay.
I saw Inception yesterday and OMFG that movie is amazingggg!!!! It also has my longest standing crush in it, aka joseph gordon leavitt. I have been crushing on that boy since he played Tommy in 3rd rock from the sun. He looks so adult and sexy now. Okay okay I'll stop! :) anyway, the movie is awesome and there are cute guys in it and you might come away googly eyed. @_@
In other news, today I wrote the guy who's over the grant that will pay me for my job and basically told him that I am broke and living off of peanut butter and crackers (not true, lol) and NOW I'm going to get some money on thursday!!!! Yayy!!!! That means saving money for new skinny cloths for school and buying some laxies. I miss them. I hate the laxi tea. I'm trying to stop the purging. Aaand I am sick of the weekend doing head trips on me. If I have laxi pills I can flush it all away!! Also, I can time them. Pills are awesome like that. I do a morning walk everyday at 7am, do you reeeaaalllyyyy think I'm going to trust a TEA not to hit at that time or *gasp* while I'm a WORK!?! Pills are dependable. So yay for that!
I think that is all for now so till next time, ciao dahlings! Lololol :)
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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Saturday, July 24, 2010
YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Look at that number. I mean really that is almost unreal to me! I was 205.4 monday morning and I said that I had to lose six pounds by saturday morning. HAD TO. So in some weird mix of fasting, exercising, purging, and eating next to nothing, voilá! 199.4 ONE NINETY NINE POINT FOUR!!!!! God I don't think I've ever been this excited in my life!
I am sorry for the hiatus, but I needed to get my shit together. I love you guys and writing and rambling to you makes me happy, but I was sick of the 200s. I had to find something to force me to do it. So I said I couldn't blog again until I got under 200. You don't know how hard that made me work because I missed you guys so fucking much! But for future reference, if you ever what to hear my rambles 24/7 you can always follow me on twitter. I'm on there EVERYDAY. I am addicted!! So I'm Scarlet_Tbeauty on there!
Also I am a true size 14 now. It's funny, I bought some gloria vanderbilt cargo pants out of a resale shop, size 14, tried em on. Perfect fit! So I bought them. Then my dad randomly bought me 2 pairs of shorts, also size 14. Perfect fucking fits!!!!! I tried on every size 14 in my mom's closet and EVERYTHING was perfect. Holy shit I'm a person again!!!!
Today was weigh-in day for more than just me though. Because I got under 200, my mom and dad had to weigh too. My mom is 171.2, which she was okay with. She's been eating kind of shit lately so she's happy she maintained/ lost 2 lbs. My dad is a whole nother story. Do you know how HARD it was to coax him on that scale?!? He like fucking jammed the logic on the poor thing twice talking about "it's an omen I shouldn't weigh in" I'm thinking "you shit head! If you didn't eat so fucking much all the time you wouldn't be terrified!!" But FINALLY we got him on the scale: 375.2 lbs. So he lost like 1.8 since the last time he weighed with was MONTHS ago. Fun fact though, after we all weighed he realized something. Put together my mom and I only weigh 370.6 lbs. We weigh four fucking pounds LESS than him, put to-fucking-gether!!!!! That messed him up so badly, I hope it give him the kick in the ass he needs!
So far this month I have lost 17.6 lbs which is the most I've ever lost in a month and the month isn't over for another 8 days!!! Whhhhhoooooopppeeeeee!!!!
So now let's talk about my so-called life...it's quite shit right now. I'm working on a research project and they won't fucking pay me. Like this is coming up on week seven of ten and I still have no idea when I am going to get paid! Stupid unprofessional school. Dammit I want my money so badly! Secondly, I have been trying to hang out with my friends Monika and BK for like all summer. And like tuesday I find out these bitches made plans to hang out on friday. Without me. Bitches. Just wait until I come back to school looking ah-mazing. I'm not going to even deal with you backstabbing assholes. Ugh. And then my other friend Matt is trying to hang out with me but weird things keep happening. Like we were supposed to see Inception and everything but he can't do it until after July 30th because he has finals and has to study. Fine. But then he comes back and says his aunt is going today (saturday) and that maybe we can go together! That was sunday. Then yesterday he calls and says he can't for "various reasons" wtf? Various reasons??? I think his wife kate is just spazzy about him hanging out with a girl but come on! I'm SEVENTEEN. Matt is like fucking 32. Trust me, nada is gonna happen. Also apart from the fact that I'm his honorary little sister, we were going with his AUNT, her SON, and my PARENTS. Really? Anyway so that kinda has me pissed off. And then my parents are having their off and on fighting again. But they always do that. I miss my friends and I wish they would start acting like fucking friends and hangout with me. First thing on my agenda when I go back to school with my skinnier body is to get better quality friends. Immediately. Gotta come out my shell this semester and talk to people. Whoever sits next to me is going to be my new bff.
Anyways, I have been altering songs again to be thinspo. Up today is "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars. Side note, bruno mars is adorable. Just sayin'. So here are the new lyrics to the chorus. If you haven't heard the song go look it up on itunes! It's really good!! :)
I wanna be a skinny girl, so frickin' bad, wear all the clothes I never had
I wanna be on the cover of, Vogue magazine, dressed head to toe in D&G
Everytime I close my eyes, I see the space between my thighs, awesome days, amazing nights, oh I, I swear, you better prep the world for when I'm a skinny girl!
Lol yes I did write all of that and I hear it in my head ALL THE TIME now. It's really catchy! :)
As far as food today...as little as possible. It's saturday so anything could happen, but imma start a fast on monday, and of course you're getting a new post on monday!! Cause I don't think I'm ever going to have a hiatus that long EVER again because I <3 you guys!!!
Comments!
AnnikaQ (even though I've blocked her from my blog): hahahahahaha that is me laughing in your doubting face. Fasting never averages in a 1-2 lbs a week and the body never gets used to it. Because you just read ED blogs and don't have an ED you just don't understand the mechanics. While 17.6 lbs in a month is unreal in your world it's perfectly okay in the thin neverlands.
Audri: hey welcome to the blog! That's so sweet that means a lot to me!!! <3
Ana Nae: welll, even though I won the race I'm still behind you 100%!!!!!!! You can do it! <3 :)
A.Beautiful.Mess: aw thanks babe, I missed the italian team! Tbh I started watching the world cup because of the guys! Lol, but then I got into it! I can't wait for 2014!!!! :)
BMay: thanks! I've lost 70.6 lbs total from my high weight! I normally try to fast for like 2-3 days because that's when I get the most benefit. My parents are cool with my fasting though they do prefer if I liquid or juice fast because they worry about me getting vitamins and nutrients and such. We don't really believe in supplements so food (or drink) is the only way we think we're actually getting some! :)
Kazehana: omg how sweet!!! I'm gonna go check out that award RIGHT NOW. And thank you for commenting!! ;)
Jo: aww I did it just for you babe! ;)
Jenny: haha I love you babe you always make me smile. Hey it all starts with one day and then you just keep going!!! <3 :)
Okay if you made it to the bottom of this super long post then *hugs*!!!!!!!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Let's Do It Again!!
Hey guys!
So this morning I was 206.8 lbs, which is good, I'm still losing weight! I had a bit of a weird mishap over the last few days though. I ate watermelon on monday (totally NOT following the plan I know) but I ate quite a lot in one sitting. That was because when I came off of my fast I had come off just in time for my mom and dad not to gobble up my part of the watermelon (or what was left of it anyway). So I ate the watermelon and followed that with water for the rest of the day, the problem is that watermelon has the special property of kinda acting like a laxitive and I didn't think about it until it started acting like a laxitive!!! I don't know why (probably because of the water fast) but my body FREAKED and it was a very unpleasant day/night/early morning for me. AND I bloated up like a balloon AND my weight bounced up to 212.8!?! I knew it was all water, because I barely ate anything and also I was looking in the mirror! So anyways yesterday I water fasted (I was honestly too scared to eat ANYTHING) and now my body has settled back down and my flat abs are back. But I just figured what the hell and I'm fasting again today. And tomorrow. I already have my game plan for breaking the fast friday morning: I have a bottle of strawberry banana orange juice and an apple. If the apple is soft I'll just juice it! I reallly hate soft apples, in case you didn't know! Also I froze the juice so that I won't be tempted to drink it. Well, I can be tempted, but I'd have to wait for it to melt! Lol. I only seem to lose significant amounts of weight while fasting and now that it's honestly not that hard for me to do...carpe diem right? PLUS I've already lost over ten pounds so far this month which is awesome!!! I mean my original goal for this month was 195 by August 1 and now it's looking like I may be able to touch the 180's if I play my cards right!! I know I won't be able to do all of this fasting once school starts back in late august so I'd better lose all I can in the time that I have!
It's funny how supportive my parents are now with my fasting, but my dad totally has an ulterior motive! When I'm not eating he eats what I would've eaten! Perfect example: my parents just bought the juice today, it was a carton right? And my dad's all like "oh yeah you're fasting today aren't you?" Anf I'm like "yeaaah, why?" "Oh because we saved you some juice but you're doing like three days it won't last that long"
First of all, it's fucking JUICE. You put it in the fridge and it lasts at least a week. Secondly, I can also do what I did with it which was FREEZE it. Thirdly, you just want to drink my juice greedy!!!! I go through this ALL THE TIME now. Having stuff that's "mine" be consumed by other individuals is my biggest pet peeve. It's the one way to get under my skin and a surefire way to get smacked! Haha. Anyway, so that's my plan!
Comments!
Emry: aww thanks babe! :)
AnaNae: good luck with your fast!!! I'm just gonna do the interval water fasting! :)
AfricAnaMia: haha I know! If I see like unhealthy foods I'm like WHATEVER!!!!! :)
WannaBskinny: thanks babe!! I'm going to keep working at it!!
M-ilie: hey! Thanks, I feel so happy about it!!!!!! :D
Jenny: duuuuuuuude thanks so much!! I think I'm starting to inspire myself to inspire myself. That is my philosophical nonsensical contribution to the world: wham-o! <3
AnaB: hahahaha I had inspiration! Have you SEEN the spanish soccer team?????? I wanted them to get through so I could keep watching them! <3
Okay, I am off to get skinny!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
So this morning I was 206.8 lbs, which is good, I'm still losing weight! I had a bit of a weird mishap over the last few days though. I ate watermelon on monday (totally NOT following the plan I know) but I ate quite a lot in one sitting. That was because when I came off of my fast I had come off just in time for my mom and dad not to gobble up my part of the watermelon (or what was left of it anyway). So I ate the watermelon and followed that with water for the rest of the day, the problem is that watermelon has the special property of kinda acting like a laxitive and I didn't think about it until it started acting like a laxitive!!! I don't know why (probably because of the water fast) but my body FREAKED and it was a very unpleasant day/night/early morning for me. AND I bloated up like a balloon AND my weight bounced up to 212.8!?! I knew it was all water, because I barely ate anything and also I was looking in the mirror! So anyways yesterday I water fasted (I was honestly too scared to eat ANYTHING) and now my body has settled back down and my flat abs are back. But I just figured what the hell and I'm fasting again today. And tomorrow. I already have my game plan for breaking the fast friday morning: I have a bottle of strawberry banana orange juice and an apple. If the apple is soft I'll just juice it! I reallly hate soft apples, in case you didn't know! Also I froze the juice so that I won't be tempted to drink it. Well, I can be tempted, but I'd have to wait for it to melt! Lol. I only seem to lose significant amounts of weight while fasting and now that it's honestly not that hard for me to do...carpe diem right? PLUS I've already lost over ten pounds so far this month which is awesome!!! I mean my original goal for this month was 195 by August 1 and now it's looking like I may be able to touch the 180's if I play my cards right!! I know I won't be able to do all of this fasting once school starts back in late august so I'd better lose all I can in the time that I have!
It's funny how supportive my parents are now with my fasting, but my dad totally has an ulterior motive! When I'm not eating he eats what I would've eaten! Perfect example: my parents just bought the juice today, it was a carton right? And my dad's all like "oh yeah you're fasting today aren't you?" Anf I'm like "yeaaah, why?" "Oh because we saved you some juice but you're doing like three days it won't last that long"
First of all, it's fucking JUICE. You put it in the fridge and it lasts at least a week. Secondly, I can also do what I did with it which was FREEZE it. Thirdly, you just want to drink my juice greedy!!!! I go through this ALL THE TIME now. Having stuff that's "mine" be consumed by other individuals is my biggest pet peeve. It's the one way to get under my skin and a surefire way to get smacked! Haha. Anyway, so that's my plan!
Comments!
Emry: aww thanks babe! :)
AnaNae: good luck with your fast!!! I'm just gonna do the interval water fasting! :)
AfricAnaMia: haha I know! If I see like unhealthy foods I'm like WHATEVER!!!!! :)
WannaBskinny: thanks babe!! I'm going to keep working at it!!
M-ilie: hey! Thanks, I feel so happy about it!!!!!! :D
Jenny: duuuuuuuude thanks so much!! I think I'm starting to inspire myself to inspire myself. That is my philosophical nonsensical contribution to the world: wham-o! <3
AnaB: hahahaha I had inspiration! Have you SEEN the spanish soccer team?????? I wanted them to get through so I could keep watching them! <3
Okay, I am off to get skinny!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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Monday, July 12, 2010
GOOOOOAAAALLL!!!
Hey guys!
So I just ended my fast today after about 5.75 days (the world cup tided me over the .75 haha) and as of this morning I have lost 8 lbs! I now weigh 207.4!!! Yay! Oh but to clarify when I started the fast I was 214.8 lbs, but I got my hair redone. So my original hair weighed only .4 lbs but my new hair weighs 1 lb!! So I'm really .6 less than what the scale shows.
Anyway, because I read online that it is a VERY BAD IDEA to go straight to regular food after an extended fast because all the weight will come back on! So for the next three days I am on a liquid fast and then I'll switch to liquids + watermelon until august 1. I'll try to keep my cals around maybe 500-700 max! I really love how I am feeling right now though! The fast was interesting mostly because of actually what I was craving! It wasn't the usual crap or sweets, it was like: I would kill for a cracker/blueberries/steamed veggies with salt! It was crazy!!!! But I like it!
My abs are flat and all of my jeans are loose on me now so I am very happy!!! Thank you guys for all of your support on my fast I seriously appreciate it!!!
So as we know I am gunning for below 200 lbs. I am very close and hopefully I can hit it within the next week and a half!
I'm going to catch up on blogs and stuff tomorrow!
Comments!
Um it's reeeeaaally late right now and I have to wake up at 6am but I didn't want to leave you guys without an update. So as far as comments, from what I remember most of you guys were cheering me on so thankyou. The other parts were how am I getting away with all of this fasting? Mostly because my parents see a positive difference in my attitudes, outlook on life, and my appearance in general. As long as I don't injure myself they're okay with whatever. I'm sure if I passed out or something I would be in trouble but I make it my business to never let that happen. Also because I have a stopping point that sounds reasonable to them. I've got them on my side so as long as I don't screw anything up I'm fine! :)
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
So I just ended my fast today after about 5.75 days (the world cup tided me over the .75 haha) and as of this morning I have lost 8 lbs! I now weigh 207.4!!! Yay! Oh but to clarify when I started the fast I was 214.8 lbs, but I got my hair redone. So my original hair weighed only .4 lbs but my new hair weighs 1 lb!! So I'm really .6 less than what the scale shows.
Anyway, because I read online that it is a VERY BAD IDEA to go straight to regular food after an extended fast because all the weight will come back on! So for the next three days I am on a liquid fast and then I'll switch to liquids + watermelon until august 1. I'll try to keep my cals around maybe 500-700 max! I really love how I am feeling right now though! The fast was interesting mostly because of actually what I was craving! It wasn't the usual crap or sweets, it was like: I would kill for a cracker/blueberries/steamed veggies with salt! It was crazy!!!! But I like it!
My abs are flat and all of my jeans are loose on me now so I am very happy!!! Thank you guys for all of your support on my fast I seriously appreciate it!!!
So as we know I am gunning for below 200 lbs. I am very close and hopefully I can hit it within the next week and a half!
I'm going to catch up on blogs and stuff tomorrow!
Comments!
Um it's reeeeaaally late right now and I have to wake up at 6am but I didn't want to leave you guys without an update. So as far as comments, from what I remember most of you guys were cheering me on so thankyou. The other parts were how am I getting away with all of this fasting? Mostly because my parents see a positive difference in my attitudes, outlook on life, and my appearance in general. As long as I don't injure myself they're okay with whatever. I'm sure if I passed out or something I would be in trouble but I make it my business to never let that happen. Also because I have a stopping point that sounds reasonable to them. I've got them on my side so as long as I don't screw anything up I'm fine! :)
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Steel
Hello lovelies!!!!
Oh I am so excited to update you guys!!!!! So lately I have been working, being obsessed with the world cup (viva españa!!!), attempting to clean my room (ummm, yeah sure), and fasting. You read that right: FASTING. I am on the 3rd day of my fast and I have no idea how long I'm going to go but I feel really good right now!!! I've lost 3.8 lbs since I last blogged!!! Eeeee!!!! I am thisclose to a new low weight which would be this close to getting below 200 lbs. I'm deff fasting until I get below that at least! My dad has challenged me to fast for 15 days, not that he's doing it or anything, but he'll like pay me $15!! I mean to get paid for something I was contemplating anyway is pretty awesome!
I have been living off of water, sobe life water 0, and VITAMIN WATER ZERO. Hot damn that stuff is AMAZING. It tastes soooo good. In fact I am freezing some right now so I can have "sorbet". Hahaha :)
I've been walking for an hour everyday instead of the usual running because I don't want to over tax myself. It's going really well because I have motivation and a support system! Not only do I have you guys (even though I'm kinda like "surprise!" on you), I have my dad, whose buying me all the vitamin water zero and such and encouraging me, but I've also got twitter. Twitter is amazing, seriously!!! There's a HUGE pro-ana population on there and there will be like seven people fasting at the same time!! And you can easily check in on each other and push one another through a rough patch! I love it. Now I have blogger fam and twit fam!!!!
The only person not on board is my mom. She's acting all weird, backstabbing me to my dad. "She's going to deplete all of her nutrients..." Blah blah blah. My dad's response? "Jesus did it." Hahahahaha!!!! Love my dad! Now my mom (after being guilted by my dad) has agreed to take an early morning lakefront walk everyday. Awesome. The hitch? She says for her to do it I have to agree to at least eat seaweed everyday to get vitamins and to also take some kind of laxi tea to make sure my system stays clean. I didn't answer her at first because all that would've come out would've been: fuuuuucccckkk yoooooouuuu. One I am on a fast so food is not happening any time soon. Secondly, laxi tea??? GAG! Also it just makes you lose water weight. I only use laxi anything when I actually have something I need to get rid of! If I did what she's suggesting, I'd be just like her, unable to use the bathroom without a little "help". No way. I worked too hard over the past six months getting my digestive system to mostly work after my love affair with laxies last year!
Anyway, I'm pretty much ignoring her.
OH! Before I be an airhead and forget, I want to thank athANAsy for my sunshine award!!!!!! (Picture posted above) so my job is to pass on this loveliness to five other terrific bloggers!
1) Jenny (I WILL BE PERFECT...)
2) Z. (Sweet Soubrette)
3)B. (Thin Has A Taste All It's Own)
4)Katie/Skinnybusiness (Whisps of Gypsy)
5)Lyndee (ANa XOXO)
Those are awesome people. Go. Read. Follow! And I love everyone else who I couldn't name too!! You guys are awesome!!!
Comments!
Lyndee: I know!!! I just don't (can't) go back the same way! It wouldn't be right!!!! <3
Catherine: Hola to you too!! It's great to have you here and I hope your fast went awesome!!!! :)
B: I totally hate holidays. Especially the ones that have nothing to do with food but it's like this "intrical" part!! The americans started a 6 year war! They didn't sit around eating!!!!!!
Lisa: thanks babe!!!!!!
Ariana: I know! I hate bread too! It's...evil!!!!
AthANAsy: thanks for the award babe!!!
Jenny: aww thanks!!!! I am deff working HARD. Yeah bread is totally going out the window pretty much. I think I'll allow crackers...<3
Okay off to fast and read blogs! I've been so lazy with keeping up!!!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Oh I am so excited to update you guys!!!!! So lately I have been working, being obsessed with the world cup (viva españa!!!), attempting to clean my room (ummm, yeah sure), and fasting. You read that right: FASTING. I am on the 3rd day of my fast and I have no idea how long I'm going to go but I feel really good right now!!! I've lost 3.8 lbs since I last blogged!!! Eeeee!!!! I am thisclose to a new low weight which would be this close to getting below 200 lbs. I'm deff fasting until I get below that at least! My dad has challenged me to fast for 15 days, not that he's doing it or anything, but he'll like pay me $15!! I mean to get paid for something I was contemplating anyway is pretty awesome!
I have been living off of water, sobe life water 0, and VITAMIN WATER ZERO. Hot damn that stuff is AMAZING. It tastes soooo good. In fact I am freezing some right now so I can have "sorbet". Hahaha :)
I've been walking for an hour everyday instead of the usual running because I don't want to over tax myself. It's going really well because I have motivation and a support system! Not only do I have you guys (even though I'm kinda like "surprise!" on you), I have my dad, whose buying me all the vitamin water zero and such and encouraging me, but I've also got twitter. Twitter is amazing, seriously!!! There's a HUGE pro-ana population on there and there will be like seven people fasting at the same time!! And you can easily check in on each other and push one another through a rough patch! I love it. Now I have blogger fam and twit fam!!!!
The only person not on board is my mom. She's acting all weird, backstabbing me to my dad. "She's going to deplete all of her nutrients..." Blah blah blah. My dad's response? "Jesus did it." Hahahahaha!!!! Love my dad! Now my mom (after being guilted by my dad) has agreed to take an early morning lakefront walk everyday. Awesome. The hitch? She says for her to do it I have to agree to at least eat seaweed everyday to get vitamins and to also take some kind of laxi tea to make sure my system stays clean. I didn't answer her at first because all that would've come out would've been: fuuuuucccckkk yoooooouuuu. One I am on a fast so food is not happening any time soon. Secondly, laxi tea??? GAG! Also it just makes you lose water weight. I only use laxi anything when I actually have something I need to get rid of! If I did what she's suggesting, I'd be just like her, unable to use the bathroom without a little "help". No way. I worked too hard over the past six months getting my digestive system to mostly work after my love affair with laxies last year!
Anyway, I'm pretty much ignoring her.
OH! Before I be an airhead and forget, I want to thank athANAsy for my sunshine award!!!!!! (Picture posted above) so my job is to pass on this loveliness to five other terrific bloggers!
1) Jenny (I WILL BE PERFECT...)
2) Z. (Sweet Soubrette)
3)B. (Thin Has A Taste All It's Own)
4)Katie/Skinnybusiness (Whisps of Gypsy)
5)Lyndee (ANa XOXO)
Those are awesome people. Go. Read. Follow! And I love everyone else who I couldn't name too!! You guys are awesome!!!
Comments!
Lyndee: I know!!! I just don't (can't) go back the same way! It wouldn't be right!!!! <3
Catherine: Hola to you too!! It's great to have you here and I hope your fast went awesome!!!! :)
B: I totally hate holidays. Especially the ones that have nothing to do with food but it's like this "intrical" part!! The americans started a 6 year war! They didn't sit around eating!!!!!!
Lisa: thanks babe!!!!!!
Ariana: I know! I hate bread too! It's...evil!!!!
AthANAsy: thanks for the award babe!!!
Jenny: aww thanks!!!! I am deff working HARD. Yeah bread is totally going out the window pretty much. I think I'll allow crackers...<3
Okay off to fast and read blogs! I've been so lazy with keeping up!!!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Monday, July 5, 2010
Honey, I'm Home!
Hey guys! I hope you had a great independence day!!! Weight wise I am down 1.4 lbs!!!!! Yayayayayay!!!!! I did purge earlier on the 4th, two burgers(veggie) french fries and onion rings were a bit much. I'm gonna stop doing that though. Seriously.
Idk what my plan is going to be now. I'm always changing plans it's so ridiculous. I wound up going back to one workout a day for time's sake and the lack of me having it soo yeah. For now it stands as it was but who knows I might have done something epic in my next post!
So I've lost 3 lbs this week and I am very happy!!! My goal was 5 but this is an okay rate for now. Gonna find a way to step it up though. August is looming large in my brain. Late august, late august, late august. Oh it's so stressful. I can't go back to school big you know??? I want to shock the bobby socks off of everyone! So I am working hard now. Not that I wasn't before but now there is like no room for error. I read my past entries (all the way back to the beginning, that took FOREVER) I was great at losing the weight but I'd always binge it back on. That will not be happening. Yeah I know, I'm not supposed to say that with murphy's law and everything but murphy can just bite me because it's not gonna happen. I am not going to be a henderence to myself. I hear that cheesy rocky song in my head and I have my new theme:
"The question is not who is going to let me. The question is who is going to stop me." --Ayn Rand
Hell yes and booyah!
I am running on autopilot today because last night my parents had a HUGE argument and idk if there's any permanent damage. I mean they're talking like nothing happened NOW but does that mean everything is good?? I guess I'll find out whatever whenever.
Oh oh I knew I was forgetting something! I constantly get romanced by other's plans and achievements so recently I was reading Jenny's blog and she became vegan entirely and cut out bread. I find that highly doable as I am like 80% vegan as it is. So that's a little addition to my plan!!!
Comments!
Ell: lol I know, I know!!! But sometimes it's just like oh forget this! But what the hell? All of the good girls go bad sometimes! :)
Charlie: Charlie-Angel!!!! Missed your comments! Aww thanks so muh babe!! <3
B: omg I am so happy I can help!!!! Lol but you're pretty awesome yourself!
Jenny: haha I know!!! Also "rockstar" by Nickelback has this line: "well I'll stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat" and I ALWAYS notice it. Then again it is in the chorus, lol :)
Katie: I think they're bulimics or superheroes. Then again all of their "keep slim" teas are all laxi teas!!!!! Every single freaking one! And they work like awesomely! And they advise "everyday usage" yeah right! Wouldn't do that if you want a life lol :))
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Idk what my plan is going to be now. I'm always changing plans it's so ridiculous. I wound up going back to one workout a day for time's sake and the lack of me having it soo yeah. For now it stands as it was but who knows I might have done something epic in my next post!
So I've lost 3 lbs this week and I am very happy!!! My goal was 5 but this is an okay rate for now. Gonna find a way to step it up though. August is looming large in my brain. Late august, late august, late august. Oh it's so stressful. I can't go back to school big you know??? I want to shock the bobby socks off of everyone! So I am working hard now. Not that I wasn't before but now there is like no room for error. I read my past entries (all the way back to the beginning, that took FOREVER) I was great at losing the weight but I'd always binge it back on. That will not be happening. Yeah I know, I'm not supposed to say that with murphy's law and everything but murphy can just bite me because it's not gonna happen. I am not going to be a henderence to myself. I hear that cheesy rocky song in my head and I have my new theme:
"The question is not who is going to let me. The question is who is going to stop me." --Ayn Rand
Hell yes and booyah!
I am running on autopilot today because last night my parents had a HUGE argument and idk if there's any permanent damage. I mean they're talking like nothing happened NOW but does that mean everything is good?? I guess I'll find out whatever whenever.
Oh oh I knew I was forgetting something! I constantly get romanced by other's plans and achievements so recently I was reading Jenny's blog and she became vegan entirely and cut out bread. I find that highly doable as I am like 80% vegan as it is. So that's a little addition to my plan!!!
Comments!
Ell: lol I know, I know!!! But sometimes it's just like oh forget this! But what the hell? All of the good girls go bad sometimes! :)
Charlie: Charlie-Angel!!!! Missed your comments! Aww thanks so muh babe!! <3
B: omg I am so happy I can help!!!! Lol but you're pretty awesome yourself!
Jenny: haha I know!!! Also "rockstar" by Nickelback has this line: "well I'll stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat" and I ALWAYS notice it. Then again it is in the chorus, lol :)
Katie: I think they're bulimics or superheroes. Then again all of their "keep slim" teas are all laxi teas!!!!! Every single freaking one! And they work like awesomely! And they advise "everyday usage" yeah right! Wouldn't do that if you want a life lol :))
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Friday, July 2, 2010
Saints and Sinners
"Forget about guns and forget ammunition, 'cause I'm killin' 'em all with my own little mission, no I'm not a saint, but I'm not a sinner, but everything's cool long as I'm getting thinner..."
-- "The Fear" by Lily Allen
Hey guys!
So good news: I LOST WEIGHT!!! Yay! Down 1.4 lbs as of this morning. However, I can't say the loss was just like whapow! And I have the award given to me and I get to be all "wow this was so unexpected..." Yeah no. I hadn't lost any weight yesterday after going to bed at a weight that shouldve guaranteed a loss. Then my parents had to go to a funeral so we had to wake up early and I had to say bye-bye to my morning run, that was the first thing. But to make up for it I didn't eat bfast. After I got off of work (approx 12:30p), my parents decided to go to a chinese restaurant. Now as you've seen in at least 5 other posts, asian food can send me into a spastic frenzy. It always takes me forever to decide what doesn't come in a fatty or salty (or BOTH) sauce and doesn't come with anything fried of whatever. So I got sauteed tofu, which came in a big ass bowl, and rice of course came with. White rice. Not even brown rice. I have problems with foods that have nnv (or no nutritional value). So I ate that and felt wayy too full. I wouldn't have eaten it all but my dad was proclaiming "no leftovers!" So blech. THEN he bought me this strawberry mousse cake that was light, sure, but didn't mix with the tofu well. I could feel my stomach pulse everytime I took a step. I could barely BREATHE because I felt nauseous. But then we went home. It was so my parents could change out of their dark funeral clothes, but I still felt like awful. So I decided to purge it. But not (only) for thin purposes. I really felt sick. Sorta like that one summer I had a tuna salad sandwhich with googobs of mayo and it went bad on my stomach. I remeber trying to get rid of it that night but it was already digested so I had to just suffer food poisoning (basically). Interesting though, I wasn't hungry after trying to throw up and I recall thinking to myself: if I did this I could probably lose weight by getting rid of my appetite. Hmmm, talk about an omen.
Anyway, I purged it and drank a lot of water afterwards (something I used to not do because I didn't want to gain water weight.) And I went on with my day. I wound up having some bread and sorbet later on, more water. I worked out with running and strength training, and I was down in lbs today!!!! Yay!!!
I'm trying to lose more weight today ( of course) so I won't be eating anything else today because it's like 3pm and I had bfast at 9am (340-360cals) and I had some fiber ones poptarts(~700cals or a bit less), so that's my cals for the day. I have to mow my lawn later on (burn cals!) And I'm going to work out too!!! Let's DO IT!
Comments!
Emry: ya, thanks babe!
Ell: LMAO, diuretics are awesome, seriously. I used to/ still do love them, but I'm trying to be "good" haha
V.: aww thanks! Yep my cals did stay like that!!
Jo: thanks! I'm definetly going to keep trekking!!
Jenny: my love where have you been??? I miss you! Btw, if you have a twitter look me up: scarlet_tbeauty x's and o's babe!
Okay I am off to get skinny!!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
-- "The Fear" by Lily Allen
Hey guys!
So good news: I LOST WEIGHT!!! Yay! Down 1.4 lbs as of this morning. However, I can't say the loss was just like whapow! And I have the award given to me and I get to be all "wow this was so unexpected..." Yeah no. I hadn't lost any weight yesterday after going to bed at a weight that shouldve guaranteed a loss. Then my parents had to go to a funeral so we had to wake up early and I had to say bye-bye to my morning run, that was the first thing. But to make up for it I didn't eat bfast. After I got off of work (approx 12:30p), my parents decided to go to a chinese restaurant. Now as you've seen in at least 5 other posts, asian food can send me into a spastic frenzy. It always takes me forever to decide what doesn't come in a fatty or salty (or BOTH) sauce and doesn't come with anything fried of whatever. So I got sauteed tofu, which came in a big ass bowl, and rice of course came with. White rice. Not even brown rice. I have problems with foods that have nnv (or no nutritional value). So I ate that and felt wayy too full. I wouldn't have eaten it all but my dad was proclaiming "no leftovers!" So blech. THEN he bought me this strawberry mousse cake that was light, sure, but didn't mix with the tofu well. I could feel my stomach pulse everytime I took a step. I could barely BREATHE because I felt nauseous. But then we went home. It was so my parents could change out of their dark funeral clothes, but I still felt like awful. So I decided to purge it. But not (only) for thin purposes. I really felt sick. Sorta like that one summer I had a tuna salad sandwhich with googobs of mayo and it went bad on my stomach. I remeber trying to get rid of it that night but it was already digested so I had to just suffer food poisoning (basically). Interesting though, I wasn't hungry after trying to throw up and I recall thinking to myself: if I did this I could probably lose weight by getting rid of my appetite. Hmmm, talk about an omen.
Anyway, I purged it and drank a lot of water afterwards (something I used to not do because I didn't want to gain water weight.) And I went on with my day. I wound up having some bread and sorbet later on, more water. I worked out with running and strength training, and I was down in lbs today!!!! Yay!!!
I'm trying to lose more weight today ( of course) so I won't be eating anything else today because it's like 3pm and I had bfast at 9am (340-360cals) and I had some fiber ones poptarts(~700cals or a bit less), so that's my cals for the day. I have to mow my lawn later on (burn cals!) And I'm going to work out too!!! Let's DO IT!
Comments!
Emry: ya, thanks babe!
Ell: LMAO, diuretics are awesome, seriously. I used to/ still do love them, but I'm trying to be "good" haha
V.: aww thanks! Yep my cals did stay like that!!
Jo: thanks! I'm definetly going to keep trekking!!
Jenny: my love where have you been??? I miss you! Btw, if you have a twitter look me up: scarlet_tbeauty x's and o's babe!
Okay I am off to get skinny!!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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