Still doin the Checkerboard

Hey Y'all,
so i fasted yesterday. i was climbing up walls though not so much because i was hungry but because of what i had around me. earlier yesterday around noon my parents and i went to this chinese bakery and bought me two of those wonderful red bean paste cakes. i was cool, everyone knew i wasn't going to eat them until mi fast was over so no pressure. NEway, my dad and i dropped my mom off at her job at 4pm and had to amuse ourselves until about 11pm when we would go and drive out to a suburb to pick her up (she works at a hospital). so mi dad being all greedy and everything went BACK to the afore mentioned bakery and bought two more RBPC and a coconut flake thingy. it was no big deal as i still had mi RBPC. that was until mi dad decided that he had to go to Joy Yee Noodle. okay the thing about Joy Yee is that everything is a F*!&ing trigger. yes, EVERYTHING. mi dad ordered Miso Soup (something i could eat and do eat on nonfast days) and crab and shrimp eggrolls. Gawd help me. I just sat there sipping water pretending like none this is fazing me. soooo much of a lie. but i stayed strong and didn't break. As soon as 1 am hit(i had a late dinner the other day) i went for the RBPC. but then i saw miself in mi minds eye and thought that i looked like a ravenous hungry beast( i wasn't all that hungry, just wanted the RBPC) and i didn't think it looked pretty. so i did something i've never learned how to do in the sixteen years of mi existence, which is one of the reasons i am fat, I SHARED mi food that i waited all day to eat. i shared with mi mom who happily helped me. i think she ate like one all by herself cause i shared both. then mi dad got on a guilt trip and gave us his last RBPC which mom and i split. so to recap, over the course of mi fast mi dad had( the following info may be triggering):
3 RBPC
4 crab and shrimp eggrolls
1 bowl Miso soup
2 coconut thingys
5 peanut butter cups
bluberry yogurt
1 odwalla Mo'Beta smoothie
Oh i forgot the Whole Foods trek i had to go through. Mi dad and i went to WF, and he had the yogurt, peanut butter cups, and odwalla drink, as well as a shitload of samples. i just about had to run away from him. it was horrible. at WF i was just sipping a Klarbrunn (0 cals, sparkling flavored water, but not really flavored) and trying not to strangle him. Gawd he's such an ASS. always "Testing me and building" mi "strength". Ya, sure. that's why he's still a big ole fattie who's continually asking if he lost weight. no FAT ASS you have not lost weight!!!! Sorry for the vent it just gets to me. i try to help him but i can't.
Funny story to end this with:
I thought i was being so smart a few days ago when i thought i would make mi own caffiene pills. mi parents have these vcap things which are empty and can be filled with watever so i figured i would fill it with ground coffee. i did this super secret mission to spirit away the coffee and caps to mi room and prepared to carry out mi operation. however as i was about to fill the caps i looked at the coffee and saw the words that became the bane of mi existence: DECAFFINATED. mi parents have been drinking decaf forever. when they go to a restaurant, decaf, when they go to starbucks, decaf so why would i think that the coffee they BUY would be not decaf. i'm smart but sometimes i am so stupid, lol. i have a straight 4.0 GPA at a major university and i can't figure out that mi parents would drink decaf coffee. Hope that gave you guys a laugh.
XOXOXO,
Scarlet <3