Friday, September 10, 2010

Farewell, Adieu

Hey guys.
No I am not dead, I have not been in any accidents. I just haven't been blogging. I am also not in recovery, I am just leaving blogger. I kinda messed up this blog because I made it so ED focused. But I've changed from the girl who started this blog. The girl who started this blog was someone strolling into the strange world of EDs, she didn't even know herself yet. She was shy, unsociable, just pretty much focused on grades. So my blog was only about my food, weight, etc. But as time went on, I grew up. I got friends, I started really to like guys (I mean I liked them before but I started falling HARD for them), and my life got interesting. So suddenly, my new life merged with my ED. Nothing surprises me anymore as far as my ED goes, there are no dark corridors I haven't entered, nothing is scary. It's just another facet, one that's gonna stay put for a while. I've become a new person over the course of this blog. I am no longer painfully shy, I'm witty, funny, sarcastic and a little crazy. Do you know that I know people in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CLASSES this semester?? That's never happened before, normally it's at least two classes where I don't talk to anyone. But I'VE CHANGED. And I love it. I like the consistent growth. I still focus on my food, have panic attacks all the time when out with my parents, trying to anticipate their next food stop. But I also got a gym membership, and I just kill it over there, avoid extra food as much as possible (i.e., never initiate, lol) and just go on and do it.
I did make some progress, I stopped purging (FINALLY) and I'm actually pretty happy. Now don't get me wrong, I still love sharing my life and thoughts with the world but I feel guilty writing about my new merged life, because there might be a day when I don't want to talk about anything ED-related. Like if the food intake wasn't amazing nor a disaster maybe it won't sit at the front of my brain. Maybe I'll want to talk about the funny stuff that happened to me, or post something really cool that I saw. Something random. Because that's really what I am now, kinda random.
So I am sorry that I started this blog without melding in my life because now I can't bring myself to revamp it and stuff because I feel like it won't fit. I am also sorry for not telling you guys this sooner, that was really shit of me. However, even though I won't be on here blogging I am still going to read and comment on you guys' blogs (I knooow I've been shit on that too).
Oh but before I forget, I DO have a new place for my thoughts:
And as always you can just hit me up on twitter: @Scarlet_Tbeauty
I just started the tumblr yesterday but I reallly like it!! :)
Anyways, I love you guys' comments so much and I love this blog, but all good things come to an end because people change and grow. I love you guys, and I can't wait to catch up on your blogs!
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