Thursday, April 29, 2010

Strength and Sacrifice

Hey guys!
So really awesome news, I got some shape-ups! Omg my butt and legs are like burning now. I got them yesterday so I am really happy. Also I have been going pretty strong with the liquids, I'm not gonna lie though, I did cheat a little yesterday. Three bites of cake. But strangely enough, not out of greed, it was like a sacrifice. Throwing myself on the fire for someone else. Okay let me tell ya how it worked.
My dad weighed in on tuesday night, and was 375lbs. Highly depressed because he's only lost 14 lbs since like 6 months ago. Like he was really shocked. I mean so was I kinda. I thought he'd lost more since he looks smaller but apparently the math of losing weight changes for no one. So yesterday I was out with him and we went to whole foods. I had a tomato basil soup (12 oz, approx. 150cals) and he had two slices of pizza. Yep, you read that right. Then later we went to that vegan restaurant and I got a small strawberry soy ice cream (approx. 160 cals. It was a half a cup so I just gave it the stats of normal ice cream) and he got the same, along with a vegan lemon cake (idk the cals, but it's cake). I chastised him for it, he said he was only going to eat half, lmao, liar. So he has like three bites left and he's all "do you want to finish this off?" And I know, that I know that I know if I don't take it those three bites are gonna go down his throat. So I ate it. Blech, I didn't even enjoy it. That probably won't be happening again. But I am back to fasting! I am gonna liquid fast the rest of the week and then monday through thursday I'll allow myself breakfast so I can be strong for my finals. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, breakfast will make me champeeon (lmao, thanks wintergirls!). But as soon as 12:30pm thursday may 6 hits, I will be free from school and free from food. I jump right back into liquid fasting and go as far as my will power will take me, which is pretty far!
Unfortunately, I don't think I'm losing any weight atm. Of course I'm uber stressed and it's then end of the month, so I am pretty sure mother nature is planning on screwing me over next week. Blah. I figure if I stay good, don't binge, keep going, that when I stop retaining water that I'll be reeeeaaaallllyyy thin. Hopefully.
Omg I was laughing so hard today in physics because not only is A an asshole, and not only does he have a retainer, but he also cannot see!! Not as a knock blind people, but the boy has super thick clark kent looking glasses! Omg lol. So apparently he was wearing contacts all that time. Well, SC doesn't wear contacts so HA.
Speaking of SC, he was back in class today! So yay I actually did get to see him before the final. Same old same old, talking, walking, and parting ways. Sigh. But I'm totally going to some soccer games in the fall. I'll go and cheer him on! Woo! Lol.
Oh and another thing: all of my muscles fucking ache right now because I put in an hour of practicing breakdancing yesterday. Dammit that totally kicked my ass but it felt so fun! I think I have my summer obsession ladies (and gents). And it burns cals (obviously)!!!! Woot! I will be 130 by next semester. Between fasting, walking, and break dancing, I should be so skinny by the time I go back in august. No one will know what hit them.
Flora: aww thanks hun, I'm working hard!!!! :)
Red: Hey, 700 is not bad at all, and as long as you're working hard and staying mindful, progress shall be made!
Ana Banana: well, I mean we don't want anybody passing out or anything! 680 is a good max, I should be so lucky to get that low!
M-ilie: you're so sweet, I try to normally outsmart myself so I won't think of loop holes, lol! Haha, my prof is a jerk, he assigned homework that's due during finals!!! Gahhhh!
Jen: jump jump jump!!!! It's exciting and the water's great, lol! I am pushing now because if I don't, I fear I'll be crushed! But there's nothing to get me out here in the water, except maybe jaws or something, hahahaha.
Koko Fabulous: wow thanks so much!! I didn't even know I actually popped up on google! I will deff check out your blog!!!! :)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dive In

Off the springboard and into the water, slicing through the water like a sword, grazing your fingers lightly at the bottom of the pool. Enjoying the tingling feeling as the water embraces you gently. You feel invincible, the world around you a blue silence, and to think you used to be afraid. To think how many times you got on the board and never jumped. You could've been having this feeling so long ago. Because you never know what to fear until you jump in.
That is how I feel right now...happy. And I could've been happy had I done this earlier. So what is "this"? This is the freedom of liquid fasting. It was inspired by my failure, and the want to rectify that failure drives me to keep going. I fasted yesterday, had 1000cals of juice and crystal light (they have this new type that uses stevia, which means I get to be happy and keep my memory). My plan is to liquid fast this week, max of 1000cals and preference of 500. So yay! I had some crystal light and some soup today, so that's pretty much it because it's like 6pm. I'm throwing myself into studying and schoolwork this week to keep my mind off I believe I will be successful. I'm doing the fast with Red and Ana Banana, thanks for the offer and the sweet comments guys! And anyone who wants to jump in feel free!!!
My week has gone pretty well so far, yesterday I sat and talked to J like for a half an hour because he's awesome and one of my new favorite people to talk to. Then today SC didn't show up to physics (gasp!) So I talked to A on my way to the computer pit. I will be so glad when I don't have to see A anymore because the kid is just strange. He doesn't even sit next to J in class anymore, he sits in the row behind him, all for no apparent reason! J is one of the most easy going people ever!!! If you can't get along with J you're just an Ahole. So yeah, A is a weirdo and I'm sooooo glad I don't like him anymore.
Also even though he wasn't in class I talked to SC on FB, which was quite fun to say the least. I had him cracking up because he missed our professor innocently call the area of a hole in a bag "Ahole" hahahahahaha. I'm still laughing at that. And just think how thin I'll be when SC sees me on thursday!!!!!! Yayayayay!!!
Skinnybusiness: damn girl, your comment sliced me every way possible!!!!! I know it's all love and support but I came thisclose to crying after I read it. I wrote part of it on my thigh to remind me not to disappoint because I have so many people counting on me. So thank you, and I'll be sure to never give you a chance to write a comment like that ever!!!!!<3
M-ilie: omg babe thank you so much!!! Where skinnybusiness' comment diced me, you stitched me right back up to my usual motivated happy self. Love you in a totally not weird way!<3
Red: haha, your comment made me smile so much!!!!!!<3 :)
Ana Banana: wow, thanks so much for all the props on your comment. We are totally a community here and we all go through the same things all the time. I am totally doing the fast with you and we will stay strong together!!!<3
Off to be skinny now!!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Vampire Weekend

This weekend sucked the life from me. Entirely.
Thursday night there was a run in with cookies (idk if I forgot to tell y'all). Meh, okay whatever, minor slip.
Friday I had a sandwhich wrap (vegan, ho hum okay) and a square of cornbread and trail mix (ummm...) But I figured that was okay as long as nothing else crossed my lips. But something did. Something big: a BK big fish with small french fries. I experienced an odd phenomenon too: I actually felt guilty and out of body while eating th sandwhich. Normally I only feel guilty AFTERWARDS, but during I kinda enjoy the hell outta it. But this time I not only felt guilty, I felt like I was watching myself in a movie. Like I was detaching myself from this traumatic experience. I did try to purge it when I got home, but apparently burger king is all fast digesting refined carbs and hardly anything came up.
Saturday (yesterday), I lived on smoothie pretty much the whole day. I was planning on going to this event at my school (a story about it is coming) and I wanted to look good so I didn't eat. But then when my parents picked me up, they regaled me with stories of this "amazing" thai restaurant they went to. Then I was hungry. Fast forward to grocery store, where I buy a sandwhich wrap, a drink, and a demi baguette. I kid you not a half of a full size baguette. But what killed me, apart from the fact that I ate it, was that I wasn't even gonna get it. I was on the fence about because I care about losing weight. My dad is all "what, I don't care, and if you're worried about what your mom is gonna say she had noodles." That is what he said. Keep this in the very front of your brain. So I buy it. I get to the car and I am behind my mom so she can't actually see me eating. I am munching the bread, and then my dad turns in his seat looks at me, and says: "why did you get bread? I thought you didn't eat bread." My brain was screaming a million things: holy shit throw the bread out the window, purge right now, slap him in the face, cower in shame! A zillion salesmen trying to sell me their products. But the one that really got me: what a fucking asshole. I actually mumured "asshole" as I took a bite of bread so he didn't hear it. But I sure as hell said it. Then I pounced on him.
"What are you talking about. I asked you about it in the store, you said it was fine, what are you trying to do? Why are are you trying to act like you didn't know? Are you trying to expose me or something?" My first love in life is arguing. He looked so taken aback, and my mom gave him a dirty look.
"That's a really fucked up thing to do, mydad'sname." Idk if I told you guys, but cursing is an integral part of my parents' grammar. They aren't ignorant, but they can string curse words into a conversation so smoothly you couldn't imagine the sentence without them. They are pretty cool.
My dad was scrambling "oh I thought it was something else"
"How when I told you it was a demi baguette, I mean, you have bought one before" BURN!
So I got him to apologize. And then we got home and I had like two tablespoons of ice cream and lemon wafers. Kill me now, please.
Idk if this weekend is even really over because we're going to church today. And there's normally food involved. God, help me.
But, I will fix this. This is the last week I can starve and then I have to eat for finals week. But this week I shall starve heavily and pump myself clean with laxis and enemas(ooh, tmi!!!!). Must get to single digit 200s. I don't care how.
But to keep this from being a downer post, here's the little anecdote I saved for you guys:
So yesterday I went to this event my school planned, which was a free show by mike birbiglia. I mean it was orignally going to be aziz ansari, but he dumped us for the mtv video awards. I wanted to go with SC so I messaged him on facebook, saying I'd decided to go to that show tonight and is he still going. And he didn't respond. I was like whaaat?? He always responds! Did A or MF get to him? I was so sad. I think that's part of the reason being smart about food went out the fucking window. But when I got home I checked my facebook. For some reason, I didn't get a notification when SC messaged me. He wrote me back at like 7pm. The show was at 8 so I think I'd stopped checking by that time. So he didn't ignore me, at all. Infact, he was highly apologetic. He was saying how he was sorry he had only gotten my message that late, he was learning to be a lifeguard! And that he wasn't gonna be able to make it because he had to work until ten, but he said for me to have fun. And I was like: excuse me, did he just give me an reason why? When I didn't ask for one, when I wasn't even angry (okay as far as he knew), when it wasn't like we'd planned to go together?????? I was shocked. He seriously did not want me angry at him. Didn't want me to think he'd ignored me. Yowza and yay! I teased him when I wrote him back, talking about how he's going to save my life this summer cause I can't swim. Lol.
So happy ending to the post. Wasn't it all so exciting? That is my life, food drama, boy drama, regular drama, and everything in between! Hahaha.
Z.: thank you!!!! Haha, I work so hard, on both sides!
Charlie: omg babe you're awesome, they were pretty upset, lol.
Victoriacrimson: haha, I know!! They do stuff and then get surprised when something they didn't want to happen, happens!
Skinnybusiness: that is exactly what is going on!!!!! Hahaha! Yeah a chopstick. It was plastic at least, though it still kinda hurt...I wasn't that great at it back then!
Jen: omg his face was priceless. PRICELESS. Really? I find toothbrushes easier. I can never hit it with my fingers. Also I'm really finicky, I would wash my hands between every upchuck! Purging would take a really long time! Lol. I will totally keep talking to him...I am really close, I can feel it! I remember that too!!! I was thinking yesterday about wayy before we became lab partners SC had sat next to me in class and I remember thinking he was cute and his accent was hot, but the main thing I noticed was that he took notes with his right hand but highlighted with his left. I called him highlighter boy with the hard to place accent, lol.
M-ilie: it was so so great. I wish I'd had a camera!!!!! It was like wait, wait, don't move!!! Hahahaha. Thanks a lot babe!!!!
PS: will read blogs today, very soon!!!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Friday, April 23, 2010

"She Dumped Us For Fourth Wheel!!!"

Omg lmao!!!!!!
Okay so yesterday went well food wise, I had an orzo salad with little bits of seitan in it. Yum. And oj and a few pieces of m&m like candy, but not much. That was my day!!!! Woot!
I know that is like the shortest food update on record but I just posted yesterday afternoon and here I am this morning with happy hilarious news. Oh today is going to be a wash, going out to continue celebration of my dad's was nice while it lasted. Going to that asian noodle place. Idk if I told you guys but last time I was there I ate noodles (after trying not to, when I say on the side don't put them in the soup!) And tried to purge with a chopstick. A CHOPSTICK. So sad. But I stopped trying/gagging/getting nothing when this four year old girl came in. I just washed my hands and said forget it, also I didn't want me purging to be a repressed memory for her or something.
I think laxies will be the way to go...
Oh but let me tell you about lab yesterday. So as you know, SC was supposed to be my lab partner. He was, but he always shows up a few mins late. So I was there as usual reading over the lab, and talking with MF and A. Then it happened. Lab started and MF immediately started moving in on my lab set-up, doing the "you are part of our group" bs. But I stopped him in his tracks:
Me: what are you doing? You guys' coil is over there *points to next table.
MF: what, we aren't in your group today??
Me: no, I'm partnering up with SC.
MF: omg, I can't believe this, she's dumping us! A she's dumping us!
A: huh? Wait, what, what is she doing, what are you talking about?
MF: she's dumping us for fourth wheel, I mean SC!
A: why, what did we do? Is it because he's indian?
MF: hell no it's because you're not indian! It's your fault!
Me: well, you're on your own today boys.
Lmaolmaolmao!!!!!!!!! It was so funny I was trying not to laugh at them. What really killed was when SC showed up I wasn't even at my station, I was getting something, and SC puts his stuff right at my table. MF and A were looking like "shit did they plan to be partners?" Why hell yes we did you assholes. I guess you missed your chance...A.
It was awesome too because SC and I left wayyy before MF and A. It was great, great, great. SC and I talked for a while, he was asking if I was going to this thing on saturday because he was going. I said I was really considering it. I would've said yeah totally awesome cool if he'd asked me to go with him...but I think this might take a bit longer than the last two weeks of the semester. It's okay though, I'm not gonna stop talking to him just because we don't have a class, I'm totally gonna keep up with him over summer and hang out in the fall. Who knows, he might ask me to this concert that is a staple in my town that I can't tell you guys the name of. But it's like coachella, except in another town. That's all I can give ya. It's in the middle of summer.
So I am off to go "celebrate". Yeah right. Lol.
Wannabskinny: omg thank you so much babe!!
Charlie: ah, cursing makes the comment all the more sincere!!! Lol, thanks a lot, I'm trying to make y'all proud!!!!<3
Red: you can never have too much enthusiasm!!!!! Hahaha, aww thanks I think things are progressing nicely with him too! :P
Skinnybusiness: haha, thanks babe, I'm working hard. I'm driving it like an alternate current in a LRC circuit. Oops, too much physics studying, lol. Good luck with your fast I know you can do it!!!!
Oh and hi new followers!!! 78 now!!!! Love you guys so much!!!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Thursday, April 22, 2010

New Low Weights and Lifeguards

What a random title. Lol. Anyway, yesterday after posting I decided that fasting before I weigh in was kind of cheating. I mean, if I'd gained I wouldn't see it, but I'd have no idea how my metabolism was running!!!! So I decided to eat lightly. I had romaine lettuce, mushrooms, green bell pepper, and spinach with some salt pepper and chicken broth. Oh and I had some cantalope and a homemade smoothie. That was my day, so healthy and thin like.
Today???? Oh today is freaking awesome!!!!!! I weighed in at: 212.8 lbs. So I have lost like fifteen pounds since the end of january. Wooooooooooooooot! I am so close to single digit 200s I can taste it. Mmmmmmmmmm, lol. I haven't eaten anything today (yet) and it's like 4pm. My dad is coming to pick me up so I can get something to eat. Yay! (A real yay because I'm gonna get something healthy!)
Um haven't had physics lab yet, but I had my nice after physics class walk with SC. You know he's training now so he can be a lifeguard at the school pool next semester????? Omg if he came to give me cpr I'd have a heart attack. That and the fact I so can't swim, lol. It was nice though, he was walking pretty close too. I mean there's no one along side us, no one coming towards us and he's maybe three inches from me. Like basically my purse was the only thing between us (I wouldve moved it but I use a luggage roller as my backpack and I can't use the same arm for both *tear* lol). Yayayayayayaaaay, SC niceness.
The best thing about yesterday is that I didn't purge anything! Yay!!!! But I gotta admit, the body I have when I do mia looks healthier than when I'm starving. I'm all body and tight curves, and I get amazing ab tone (from all that contracting, hahaha). When I'm starving everything sinks in and my body gets pudgy. So maybe I should just work out instead of purging!!! Hahaha, I have started doing like 100 crunches in my bed at night and I randomly walk arounf my basement for an hour. So woo for cardio and toning!
Jen: ah, my dear thank you so much for thinking my blog is thinspiring!!! Wow that makes me feel so great!!!!!<3<3
Skinnybusiness: lmao, hahahaha. I am so glad you're in a better mood! You sound happy!!! Yay! Ooh but think of the fat and cals in the cake and icecream. It's not only a double whammy, but double fatty as well, lol. :) <3
Konrad: honesty is the best policy, lol.
M-ilie: omg I hope so!!!! Maybe he can practice some cpr techniques! Hahahaha! Oh I barely had the confidence to do it, but the thought of being partners with A and MF again and watching SC be in someone else's group was a lot of motivation! Especially since he's always walking around in t-shirts nowadays....okay, let me stop typing, I am babbling like a schoolgirl, lol. <3
PS: I will read and comment on you guys' blogs after physics lab!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Scarlet Gets Lucky

Ooh, get your minds out the gutter!!!! I mean real luck!
So yesterday was crappy. I ate a vegan hot dog with french fries, cookies, ice cream (the real kind), and potato salad. All at like 4:30pm. At whole foods. We went home after that. Not gonna tell you what happened because you can guess. So then I was planning on not eating anything else for the day. Which technically happened... Unless you count a grilled cheese with french fries (yes again) and lentil soup eaten at 12:30am as "same day food" ooh and follow that up with a carrot cupcake. With cream cheese icing. I just went to bed after that. I had resigned myself to a day of fatness today but I got lucky!!!!! My dad feels fat today (really??? You don't say!) So he's not going out today!!! Crappiest bday ever sure, but he's coming back full force with the food on friday. Blech. But, but, this means I get to weigh tomorrow!!!!! Woot!
So um plan today is liquids and starving. Awesome.
But I got lucky in a different way yesterday too. With SC. Okay I am leading you on there, if you thought something your mind isn't in the gutter, lol. No, but nothing like whatever you were thinking, but it was niiice. Okay so after physics I was talking to SC and we were walking to the 7-11 (it's so strange that we do that now...I used to talk to A after physics for like three weeks and now I barely talk to about parallel universes! Oh and UPGRADE!), and I did something so bold: it's our last physics lab on thursday and I don't wanna partner up with A and his bff MF. I want to partner with SC so why leave it to destiny? I was all "yeah it's the last lab this week I'm so excited! Oh you're gonna be my lab partner right?" He's all "yeah," and then I transition into the review session we have coming up...yeah, I did just do that. Hahahahahahaha. Also, because he was talking to me and stuff, SC left his "football stuff" (soccer, lol) in the classroom. Do you know how much this boy loves soccer? He eatsbreathessleeps soccer. And he forgot the stuff that enables him to do his favorite thing in the world, while talking to ME. Hell yeah. :)
Jen: awww thanks babe you're so sweet!!!!!! Yeah, candy is the devil but I haven't really had it in such a long time it tastes, idk strange, foreign. I mean it's good but different. Gah do not mention finals!!! At least you have four weeks, on may 3 I start mine!!!!<3
M-ilie: haha, so you are a second generation scottish lass!!! Yeah I don't fancy just seems like this week is an extreme situation!! I'm working on it though!<3
SkinnyBusiness: I know!!! The only thing I ever take on an empty stomach is asprin. Kinda silly since that really does burn or whatever, but it's a painkiller so it cancels itself out, lol. Besides the headaches are normally pretty bad! Yeah, memories suck always remember the good stuff and have to fight to bring up the not so good...<3
Okay, I am off to be skinny!!!! Gotta look amazing tomorrow! Btw, it'll be nice when A and MF try to "corral" me into their group tomorrow and I can be like "not today boys, I have a lab partner" HA! Besides, SC is cuter and doesn't think that I don't know what the hell I'm doing because I'm a girl (or whatever the hell A thinks). I'm babbling, let me hurry up and post!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Make Me Wanna Die (not a depressing post)

I just love that song by the Pretty Reckless. The lyrics speak to me:
"Take me, I'm alive, never was a girl with a wicked mind, but everything is better in the moonlight...your eyes, your eyes, I can see it in your eyes, your eyes, you make me wanna die, I'll never be good enough, you make me wanna die, and I can see it in your eyes, you make me wanna die" look it up on youtube or something, it's amazing.
My life has been so sos hectic lately. The closer I get to finals the more stressed I get. And then I've got my dad wanting to hit every restaurant in town. God, I wish this week would just be over!!!! He's celebrated this past weekend, he's gonna celebrate on wednesday (his bday) and he's going to celebrate on this coming weekend. All I can do is attempt to starve this week just so I won't gain anything!! Yesterday I did ok, I sacrificed chinese food to go see Kick-Ass, which was btw, kick ass! I was so happy because apart from the fact that I totally wanted to see the movie, you shoulda seen those containers of food. I was like holy shit all that for ten bucks each??? They got egg rolls, crab ragoon, kung pao shrimp, seafood combination fried rice, I mean the works. Me? I took granola bars(720cals, yeah I know, not the best thing ever), gum, and oj to the movie. Then I had a small bowl of rice with some of my dad's kungpao shrimp on top. But he's stingy so I know you can picture my dinner. That was okay, no purging, just happiness. Today? Not so much. Mia ran me over like a mack truck. I went to school, didn't have any plans on eating anything because I miss the emptiness I used to have. I never hear my stomach growl or constrict anymore, it's always having something tossed down there. Anyway, then I went to buy my dad a bday card at walgreens. Lo and behold they still have unsold easter candy sitting up there, 75 percent off. I buy a 210 cal starburst jelly beans egg. Oh yayers. Then I figure that can be it for the day. I get home and the house smells like fucking chinese food. My dad cooked his leftovers. Shit. And then gave half to my mom and none to me because I had some yesterday. Should've gone upstairs to my room and studied or something, but I cooked rice with mushrooms and lettuce. No oil, just salt and pepper. Healthy? Oh yeah! But still, no emptiness. So I purged it. I had to stop 3/4 of the way through to see my mom out the door to work. Didn't feel like going back so I popped three laxies and a diuretic. Like I said, mia ran me over with a mack truck. It's okay though I'll live. Just gotta keep fighting through it all. Refuse reduce restrict refuse reduce restrict. That is my new mantra. I read it on a blog like a year ago, but it really means something to me now. Because this is lame. If I'm not starving I'm purging, if I'm not purging I'm eating, and if I'm not eating I'm studying or daydreaming. Blah.
All I gotta do is last the best I can until may 6 at 12:30pm, when my last final is over. Then I won't have to eat a damned thing until august and can be as empty as I wanna be. I gotta make this week and next week work for me because I have to eat during finals week. It's a fact. I need my brain to fire on every cylinder it's got. So this week: starve as much as possible and eat as healthily as possible with the parents. Next week: starve your ass off! No excuses!
Gotta still lose those ten pounds by any means necessary!
Skinnybusiness: I know! Who eats at one am??? Damn just go to sleep! Lol. I should totally get back to working out, I'm being so lazy! Hahaha.The memory you have about R is sweet, it's hard to let stuff like that go.<3
Jen: ah don't cry for me argentina!!!! (Kidding, making fun of evita) :) I totally love you too babe and I am super excited!!!! I'm trying to get that controllageness, gotta keep working at it so I can be like you! <3<3
Ariana: hahahahaha, yes I think everyone should say it like that target is freakin couture! Lol. Thanks for the luck, I'll need it! Lol :)
Ana-Me: I know exactly what you mean, sometimes we don't think we're making progress but when you look back you see how far you've come! And I am always happy to make people smile :)
M-ilie: ah thanks for believing in me babe. Ten pounds, ten pounds! Lol. SC is from glasgow, and he went to the jordanhill secondary school. No idea where that is exactly (except it's in scotland, lol) but yeah that's where he's from! <3
Off to starve and study!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

City of Love

You know what, I am feeling crazy good rite now. I had a pretty good day as far as food goes, sorta. I mean I had a slice of pizza (dad's idea, and it was an actual pizzeria) but that was pretty much the only blip. I had this brown rice salad and that was pretty much it. So not toooo bad. Though way too many carbs, gotta stay away from that stuff!!! Oh and late, late, last night my parents and I went to this 24-hr breakfast place. So at like 1am I had waffles and french fries. I gained a pound. No big, I honestly expected more. This means my metabolism isn't dead so yay!
Today has been good with food. Good as all I've had is a veggie smoothie and a stalk of celery. Woot! Course, it's only noon and we're going out today. My dad's bday is wednesday, and so we're kinda celebrating this weekend. Celebration=food. I'll try to sidestep as much as possible. I've found not eating anything until the big meal of the day works well. The breakfast place caught me by surprise, but that won't happen often. :)
I know what you're thinking: scarlet why is this post called city of love? What the hell are you up to now?
Well, I'll tell ya: yesterday I went to this project challenge type thing for this entreprenuership program. It was fun and I won a ten dollar gift certificate to tarjey (lol, target). Then while I was waiting around to get picked up I ran into SC in the pit of computers. We were talking and I mentioned how I've never been out the country. This was the conversation (it has an important part so read it!)
SC: really? Well, before I came I'd never been outside of scotland.
Me: ha, yeah but my dad has been to like bermuda and all of the virgin islands and stuff and my mom has been to like germany and france, and I've been nowhere!!
SC: oh well you have at least one more year here right?
Me: yeah, two actually.
SC: oh then you could study abroad! I'm thinking of going to france next year, you should think about it. You can to to the office of international students and it's really easy cause no one from this school ever applies.
Me: really?!? I am totally gonna look into that thanks!
Okay okay, back up: SC said he's gonna study abroad next year. He says I should do it too. A+B=C. C equals he just nonchalantly asked me to come with. Hell yeah! I mean, my parents aren't gonna let me do it or anything, but the fact that he's all you should come too, is very encouraging. Goodness I hope that boy asks me out soon! (You've only got two weeks hurry up! Lol)
So that's it really, not tooo much going on!
Wannabskinny: aww thanks babe! I appreciate all of your support!!!!!<3
Skinnybusiness: lmao, there's a comment on your blog! About the tabbouleh: yeah trying new foods is kinda taboo to me too! "No I have enough addictions, thank you" I never order anything new in restaurants or anything!!! Hahaha<3

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It's Mine And You Can't Have It!!!

Oooh, good, goofy scarlet is here in full swing today!!!!! And that means I am happy happy happy!!!!!
I weighed in today at 215. Okay so I didn't shoot the moon or anything, but 5 lbs in 21 days is pretty good, I am aiming for at least ten more by May 1. Yeah I know, there I go with my ambitions, but if you don't shoot for something, the gun'll go off and shoot you in the foot!!! Hahaha.
I have been working on not purging...not successful, but working on it. At least I can say I didn't purge today. Yay! I forgot what I purged on was like something. Oh yeah, I had a black bean salad and some trail mix, and some leftover fries. That was the whole day. But it was the fries that triggered it, so that went back into the pond of food. Then yesterday I was doing okay, just a few chips (like five) they were brown rice chips and I was cool until mom and dad bought me a bag and I had eaten like half of it. I was like, oh this is sooo good! Then I realized what I was doing and I was like, damn this is shit now I have to purge it. But then I thought about it: I was eating spicy marinara flavor. Spicy=no purge! Pain, pain, pain!!! So I thought I was stuck with it. But then my dad says, oh it's hit let's go get soy ice cream. Yes yes yes!!!!!! I wolfed the rest of the chips and ate the ice cream, had a few grapes and threw everything back pain free. I did have a tinge of spice in my nose though.
Anyway, I'm working on it. I guess I can give you guys a look back into boy world again! Soo remeber those pictures I took of all of my friends? Well I posted and tagged all of them on facebook. I'm happy everything is great, people are commenting, and then A detagged himself from our picture. I was like what the fuck! I didn't even do anything! I don't even like you like that anymore! (Okay, sometimes, but not really) I was so mad I almost hit delete friend. But I didn't, because we all know I am calm cool and collected. Nah, I just wanted to know the reason before I did anything. So I didn't get a chance to talk to him after physics (I timed it badly and left wayy before him.) And then at recitation it looked like everyone was going to have the after recitation talk huddle, where A, SC, J, and I all sit around and blab about nothing, lol. So I was like, damn I'll never know!!! But then I remembered that A put his number on FB. So I texted him:
Quick question: why did you detag yourself in that picture? Just curious.
He looks over at me and kinda nods his head as he goes to work texting me back:
Because I didn't like the way I looked. I tag myself from many fb pictures don't worry about it too much. There are prolly at least a hundred untagged pictures of me online...
Sure there are A. But it was an okay excuse, I guess. It might not be true, I've seen plenty of his pics he needs to burn, but whatevs. I had a much much much more interesting time with SC after physics. Oh yeah you read that right: I was hanging with SC after physics. I was looking like crazy hot today too. I had these sky-high boots (flat, no heels) but they gave me an extra four inches (like I need them, lol) I was statuesque and beautiful, and skinny!!! It was a rarity too because normally SC has to work at the gym but because we got out early and I was lingering across the street, when he crossed over I was all "oh you're going this way today?" It was so very nice because unlike some people, SC loves to talk. Like not, rule the convo, but just easy conversation, he never runs out of things to talk about! We walked about two blocks down the 7-11 on campus, and then I got an apple and an orange juice (hell yeah!) While he got like gatorade and pop and pb and J sandwhiches and shit. I am so jealous when he eats around because he eats so much and weighs 140. Ridiculous. It funny though, he's addicted to pb and j now. He never had it in scotland and now that he's had it over here he's all "I'm addicted, I love them!" In that cute accent of his. We were hanging out in the pit (place where a ton of computers are in a building that has horrible cell reception cause it's under the El or train, or tube). We were talking about mucha nothing but it was so nice. He stayed there talking TO ME until he had to go to work. Which was like ten minutes not counting the walk over and the buying of goods. So I am full up on SC time till tuesday. Or monday, who knows when I'll see that cute sweet boy?
Okay enough guy stuff! So what did you eat today scarlet? Well you know about the apple and oj, and then at like 7:45pm I had tabbouleh and two ojs and a banana. Tabbouleh (soooo goood) was 210, banana was 100, each oj was 170. Soo, about 840 cals for the day. Not shabby, considering 510 of that was just oj. So woot!
Z: thank you so much my dear, mia is a dark damp hole and I need to rescue my foot before I go in headfirst. Though I'll admit, mia is my hero sometimes when disaster strikes, she's always swooping down to save the day, lol.
M-ilie: ooh, thanks so much!!!!! Yeah, I want someone to prove how many cals are in a pound to me lol. If I ate that much tomorrow I bet I'd gain like four pounds, hahaha.
Skinnybusiness: I'm glad it added some "sunshine" to your day!!! Omgosh I know! These things that shouldn't even be questioned are bad! They're like the A students who you find out do drugs or something! It's like: omg not them! They're the good ones! Oh babe I wish I knew you in real life too!!!!!! That would be so awesome cause a lot of us get along here and find people like us. Not just EDs or whatever but really like us personality wise! <3 *hugs*
Becca: haha, nutritional facts always make me pee myself, lol. It's so hard to find things that are "safe". Just like low fat can be like pasta or something! Haha, glad we can make oklahoma a little more bearable. And I totally understand, vacay there was not the shining light of spring break! Lol, kidding, sorta :)
Holly: omg thank you so much!!!! you inspire me too miss 98!<3<3 (two for the road my dear!)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Monday, April 12, 2010


Hello lovelys!
So exciting news! I am now an accomplished and highly acclaimed pro-ana blogger! yay! Thanks to Charlie (thanks babe) who gave me this lovely Sunshine Award!

Here are the rules:

1. post this logo within blog post.

2. pass award on to 5 fellow bloggers.

3. link to nominees within your post.

4. let the nominees know they've received an award by commenting on their blog.

5. share the love! link the person from whom received the sunshine award.

so who oh who will I award this to?
1) Becca (Losing Pounds To Find Myself...): She's a great person who's always so supportive to me! She's also fun and does awesome stuff like the ten random things she put up not to long ago!
2) Skinnybusiness (Whisps of Gypsy): This girl is sooooo thinspiring and I adore her! She has worked out hardcore for three hours straight, rested, and then did it again! She's an awesome commenter and she is always giving a new insight!
3) M-ilie (Thinking Thin As Always...): M-ilie is a newbie here, but I feel as though she's been here forever!!!! She's always on the move and trying out new plans and she's an amazing person!!!
4)Mina Belle (Dreams To Be Desired): Omgosh I read this girl's blog from the very, very, VERY beginning!!!! I found her so thinspiring because she reminded a little of myself. She's always up to something, and her motivation is always there, even when she doesn't think it is :)
5) Jenny (I WILL BE PERFECT): She was my very first real friend here on blogger. She's hilarious and awesome and she's one of the nicest, sweetest people I know! She's not blogging a lot nowadays, but I hope she comes back soon! I miss her nice comments and reading about her awesome controllageness (a jen original word! haha)
...and if you didn't the list do not get mad at me!!! I love you all and I wish I had a longer list!!!!!
And now back to your regularly scheduled blog!!!!
soooo, things haven't been going that well lately. I went out with the fam yesterday. We went to whole foods and i was okay with my kale salad and a vegan cookie, until i read the back of the cookie wrapper post stuffing my face with it:
Cals per serving: 268
Servings per container: 2
TWO!!! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!! But then i said if i didnt eat anything else i would be okay. but then we went somewhere else and wound up going to ANOTHER whole foods in a different fucking town (okay a suburb but still!!!!) where we bought this container with 18 nonvegan sugar cookies! that's six cookies a person people! and i ate them all. SHITSHITSHITSHIT.  then i had some lollipops. how cute. when i got home i grabbed some sparkling water, a banana, and then ran up to my bathroom. i ate the banana, downed the water, moved around for a while and then purged. and everything came up :)
okay i mean obviously the calories were absorbed, but i felt weird all day, physically sick from knowing how many cals i'd had. so i thought, fresh start today! no go. i binged on a HUGE bowl of cereal and a mango and did the whole shit all over again. i don't want to be mia. there are no monsters here, i will not be controlled, i must be IN CONTROL. so, gonna try not to purge anytime soon. i keep feeling weird, just like really blubbery. i think i'm being triggered by my mom. she weighs so much fucking less than me and it's freaking me out. she weighs 165!  i am still above 210!! in fact today she was talking about one of her fatty coworkers and my dad was all how much does she weigh?
about 250.
oh how tall is she?
about scarlet's height.
i practically fell on the floor and died. it was RIDICULOUS. i used to be that. literally, like in august! omg was i the tops of a fatty! oh i've been taking some hits to my self-esteem lately.
but i wil not be depressed or sad, just gotta get control of the figure. that or get my mom a filter for her brain. gosh.
i am feeling good though, i got an A on my fluid mechanics exam, WOOOOT!!! yayayayayay! tomorrow i am gonna take a picture with J because i missed him on thursday, and hopefully i'll run into NM (my thirty year old honorary older brother, lol) and get his pic. i'm gonna get A to take J and I's pic, because A has a big fancy camera and i trust him with my little coolpix, lol.
oh, btw i am gonna weigh in on thursday, see how much i've lost in 21 days!
also, if this post has bad capitalization, it's because i wrote this post on my computer and i depend on my blackberry to autocorrect all of my capitalizations! hahahaha.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Go Thin or Go Home

Hey guys...
I feel like I've been shortchanging you guys lately by talking about A and SC so much. I just looked at my last post and as long as it was I had like one paragraph about my intake. No plans, no nothing, just here's what I ate. That won't happen again. I am regaining focus, getting control again. I weighed in at 216 today, so I am maintaining, which is better than gaining but yet still not what I want. I need to be thinner like yesterday. The timetables I set for myself are flying by. On thursday it'll be the end of the 21 days. Did I liquid fast the whole time? No. Did I lose at least ten pounds? Not yet and unless I water fast or something I doubt if I'll get them. Am I under 200lbs? Hell no. Hmm, looks like I need to make some adjustments. Drastic adjustments.
Right now my hair is pressed so I can't sweat too much or I'll be looking like a refugee. But, but, I can starve better, and I can get more active walking. The semester ends in the first week of may and I don't give a damn what my mom says I am getting my hair put back into braids for the summer. I'll press it again when I go back to school, but if I want to be skinny by fall (and I DO) then I'm going to have to go hard all summer. Hardly any food. Tons of walking. Indoor exercise. Using the shit outta my elliptical. Weighing everyday to keep myself on track. If I do all that I can be 130 by august 24. But I must do all of that. Stay focused with my eyes on the prize. I'm going for the win! So for the next three weeks I am going to gradually cut down on my intake to the point where I am having a smoothie in the morning (my mom makes me drink them, I mean not forcefully but it's like "here" and she's just looking at me. You know moms) and nothing else. I should get to that by the time finals are over. Then I get my hair braided and get all that nice physical activity in. And I'll keep something like one pack of sugar on me if I feel like I'm gonna ptfo. The weight will fall off me.
That is the plan ladies, who's with me? Who wants to be thin? I sure do cause I am not going home!
Skinnybusiness: hahaha, the blackberry is easy to type on. I post and respond on blogger with my blackberry. I can do it at anytime and there's no one around borrowing my stuff and stumbling onto something. It's great!!!<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Friday, April 9, 2010

Back And Forth

Hello my lovelys!!!! Omgosh you guys are so awesome and sweet!!!!!! Thank you so much for your compliments about me, and my guys! Even though my guys wear "silly hats" (lmao, charlie).
But a couple of you (skinnybusiness and becca) brought up the fact that maybe this is a "A is just not that into you" moment. Aaaannndd I read your comments early thursday and I agreed. So when I went to physics, I was all prepped to talk to SC and pretty much not break my ass to talk to A, but then A didn't show up to class so I was all, hmmm maybe this will be easier than I thought! I did wind up talking to SC and it was soo cool!! I mean it wasn't about anything interesting really, but he's so easy and cool to talk to! And then later I was on FB at the school library printing out my lab handout and I saw him online, you know while he's supposed to be working at the school gym! Did I mention he works at the gym? And that he's on the soccer team? And that I'm sooo jealous that he only weighs 140lbs?!? Yeah, I think I skipped a lot of info, sorry!!
Anyway, so he was online so I decided to tease him.
Me: wow, you're working so hard over there!
SC: hahaha, I do nothing over here. Guarding a locked door. You know, it case it magically opens and someone walks in, lol.
From there I went on teasing him lightly and him laughing his ass off the whole time. Then I had to go cause my dad was going to be waiting for me, so:
Me: hey, I gotta go, I just wanted to tease you and make the gym a little less mundane!
SC: okayy, I'll see you in lab bye!
Haha, I flirt too much...
But lab, lab was where it got interesting. I showed up early and was talking to Kevin, this fifth year compsci major I know. Sorry I know you guys get comfused because I know so many guys! I am a guy magnet, idk why, I guess because I'm nice or whatever, but most of my friends are guys. Go figure. Anyway, I'm talking to kevin and A pops up outta NOWHERE. He's just all like "hey" and suddenly he's apart of our conversation. It wasn't like I had a lot to say to A. I wasn't gonna drop my conversation because he was there. Then MF shows up and magically joins the convo. Hmmm....why are A and MF talking to me when they show up at lab now? It used to be I had to walk over to them. What the hell!!!
Then lab starts and unfortunately SC is late. I was going to wait for him, because I wanted him to be my lab partner, but before I knew it, A was on one side of me and MF was on the other, starting the lab at my desk. And then I realized something: they just fucking made me apart of they're group. Damn you A! And then SC shows up like eight minutes later and he has to partner up with this guy...not me. So I was in a seriously bad mood towards A. I mean really, I was sensing some best friend teamwork going on. So I started acting bitchy. When I say bitchy, I don't mean acting like a bitch, I mean acting a little sharper and snarkier than I would normally be. I should clarify something though: remember when I said Emma was my cool counterpart? She's not, she's just the personification of my ED, just what runs through my head sometimes. But to be honest, ever since I was ten my cooler counterpart has been Samantha. She's fearless and can charm anyone. She never gets nervous and always has something to say. So Samantha was in full swing after I got pissed off.
We were doing this magnet thing and you were supposed to go by length, but the number on the magnets wasn't chronological with their length. Like 40 wasn't longer than 37. And we were trying to go in order so after we did 40 (the shortest) then we moved on to 37 (next one up). But A was all "shouldn't we use 39, I mean that comes before 37." In this know-it-all fashion. Like I don't know the order of numbers. "They aren't in chronological order, didn't you read the lab?" I said smoothly. A looked at me like, I can't even describe it. With a smirk. "Of course I read the lab, who remember the lengths of the magnets anyway?"
"I didn't remember the lengths, I just remembered they weren't chronological and looked in the table for the next one up." I replied with a smirk of my own. I was in rare form my dears, rare form. It was like that ALL LAB. A and I going back and forth with childish comments, cursing at each other, and yet laughing the entire time. The boy is crazy!!! When I'm nice he acts so weird and awkward, but when I'm just straight up and tease him and act like idgaf about him, then he's so normal. I mean, he's giving me snarky stuff too, but he seems soooo much more comfortable. So, a few things I've realized:
1) SC is so sweet and awesome to me
2) Though I'm not positive SC likes me, he either likes me or will be one of my best friends
3) A likes me but is a shithead
4) My best bet is to be Samantha with him and let whatever happens, happen.
5) And just be myself with SC, because SC doesn't piss me off
So I am taking your advice and going for SC. Yay scarlet for being smart! If being samantha with A helps him to realize that he should ask me out or whatever, so be it, but that is no longer my main objective.
My food intake was awesome yesterday!!! I had a smoothie for bfast, and nothing else until 4pm, where I had a cup of minestrone, with a sparkling water. That was it. Seriously, I am sooo proud!!!!!
Thank you guys for everything!!!
PS: I forgot to mention that another reason why I think A likes me but is a pansy ass: he and SC are now friends on facebook. I was just like what. The. Fuck. When I saw that. It seems so wrong!! Haha. Stop trying to spy on me A!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Let's Hear It For The Boys!

EDIT: Photos Have Been Removed!
Okay, you asked for it, so here are A and SC. A is the cutie in the black hat, and SC is the cutie who's trying to play like he's a model! Btw, don't worry about the girl in A's picture, that's paige, one of his friends, who might I say is amazingly photogenic as she is not pretty at all in real life.
Yesterday went well, I saw A and SC, and had easy convo with both. Then later I messaged them (and like three other people) on FB warning that I am going to have my camera tomorrow and take pics. The slightly off thing is that SC responded, but A didn't, and through my nancy drew esque skills, I know that A was on FB. It's irritating. The real reason I can't choose between the two is all A's fault. Every time I decide he's just too confusing he does something cute and sweet. And then when I say maybe he's just awkward and I should just stick with him he screws up. SC is consistently amazing and sweet, I'm just always so tongue tied around him (wow, I just got a very nice visual...) So those are the boys and that's my delimma. Haha, I should tell you guys what SC wrote back to my message:
"Sounds fun, I'll be sure to put some makeup on, doll myself up a bit..."
Lmao. Hahahaha.
Anyway, I've been doing well with the intake lately...haven't been liquid fasting, but for the most part it's been soup, gum, small pieces of cornbread, smoothies, and like prunes (because I really do like eating them). That's been my diet all week. Actually looking at it now it's not bad.
Yesterday I went out and played model on the lakefront with my dad, I have this one pic that makes me look so cute! Okay, snap decision, I'm gonna post it. You guys deserve to know what I look like. And I'll take it down along with A and SC on friday.
I love you guys so much and thank you for always being there to support me. I'm doing my very best to make you proud!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Monday, April 5, 2010

Growing Pains

O I've made mistakes, and you say it's just growing pains, when I feel ashamed, you tell me it's just growing pains, when I'm crying out for change, you tell me it's just growing pains, and O I've made mistakes, and yes I know it's growing pains
---'Growing Pains' by La Roux
So yeah...that's how I'm feeling rite now. But I haven't done that much bad stuff, it's mostly because I'm a masochist and weigh myself during hell week. NO ONE else does this. I've read at least a zillion blogs that the people say they just don't weigh. But I can't resist. I keep seeing that sky-high number and I feel like crying. And I try to say maybe it's a bad dream and it'll go away. I'm up 5.2 lbs total and it won't fucking go away. I mean I guess it will eventually, but being that high is screwing with my head. I also have a presentation to do in my humanities class tomorrow and I bought this cute top that looked amazing on me on friday...but now idk. I haven't tried it on but I guess it doesn't matter, the gain is mostly in my head!
Omgosh sorry I have been a bit of a downer lately, I am just stressed out and this weight and stuff is killing me. Note to scarlet: don't weigh until SUNDAY!
Okay, I'm happy again. Telling you guys and rationalizing it made me feel a zillion times better.
So this week should be interesting. I'm soooo excited. Apart from my humanities presentation tomorrow and then my fluid mechanics exam on weds, I think the big thing this week will be my physics lab this thursday. I mean, I was lab partners with A last time, and SC the lab before that. So what will be the pair this week??? Will A try to be my partner again this week, even though MF is going to be back from St. Louis? Also, if A does try to be my lab partner, will SC have something to say about it??? Hahaha, I love the potential of this situation. I mean it could be that everything goes back to normal, but on the other hand, it also can go interesting.
Oh I have a question for you guys: okay, I am nervous about putting my pic up yet (when I get to 183 I swear I'll post one, I know, a long time, but not too long hopefully!), but I have two really cute pictures of A and SC. Sooo, if you wanna c them, let me know in the comments of this post and I'll post them on weds, and take them down on friday morning (because they have the right to privacy too!). That way you can see these two boys I am so torn between!! Hahaha.
M-ilie: hahahaha, I hope it's a good sign too! I am just sooo confused when it comes to boys it's ridiculous. When I was young I didn't get the whole "little boys terrorize girls they like" concept. I pretty much just beat the crap outta them, hahaha. Thankfully I've matured hahaha.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Red Badge Of Totally Screwed

Sooo, mother nature decided to show up today. Gee thanks, so not happy to see you. Anyway, I did gain weight, but I have no idea whether or not it's water weight or real weight. Doesn't matter though, I'm still water fasting today regardless.
In other news though, interesting development on the A frontier. I thought after being friends on FB with A I would creep his page less, but I actually do it more because I can see everything. I made a small discovery that made me happy. One of A's friends (that idk) named Kendall (who's gay, btw) wrote on his wall:
"Jailbait. That is all."
At first I was like wtf? Then it hit me: he's talking about ME. Then I felt like kicking Kendall's ass right then and there. You know, after I find him or something, lol. Anyway, the point is that A must be feeling romantically inclined because he's asking people's advice! Yes, yes, yes!!!!!! So my plan is to bring up that I'm planning my big 18th, which should lead into A asking when my bday is. In which case I will let him know it's in the first week of november. Yeah, jailbaitness will not be a "problem" for long. Also, what always cracks me up is that guys don't realize it's only "jailbait" if you have sex with the underage person, not if you date them dumbass. Anyway, I see that as a good sign that he's asking advice about going out with me. Which is totally awesome.
My water fast is going well, nothing has and nothing will cross my lips!
M-ilie: hahahahaha, thanks, I was worried I was getting too high and mighty! Lol. :)
Charlie: To err is part of the human condition my dear. And life is a big rollercoaster, especially the weightloss part of it. But while most people give up, when the chips are down WE don't. We never quit, we never stop fighting, we never stop trying, because we know you only fail when you quit, so like the energizer bunny we keep going. And eventually slow as it may seem, we wake up one day and we find we've made it. We're thin. We did it, and we're never gonna let it go! Love you too babe...also in a totally non-weird way, lol stay strong!<3
Kendall's wall posting? Mysteriously removed. I guess someone (A!) Didn't want me to see it. Yeah, that wouldve worked if I wasn't a FB addict and also check your page everytime I go on FB. Good try though, lol.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Small Edit For Today

So I still made good, and we did our walk, but then we went to that vegetarian place we love (read: I hate) and got some stuff. I got: battered fries (a whole basket, with ketchup!), a third of a veggie stirfry dish, and a carob brownie that was pretty big. Ate it ALL, but drank like six cups of water with it. Hmmm, wonder why? Probably because as soon as I came home I purged the hell out of it. It came up fairly easy, unfortunately (but somehow fortunetly) I am getting better at purging. It will not be a crutch though! Must stay in control and use it in dire circumstances (like today). I'll probably at the very least skip smoothies and soup tomorrow and just do a juice fast or a water fast. It depends on what I weigh tomorrow:
1.5 lbs or less---> juice fast
1.6 or more--->water fast
Wish me luck!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Scarlet Makes Good!

Helllloooo my dears!!!!!! M-ilie, weddingdressthin, when life gives you lemons don't eat them (lmao), and wannabskinny, thank you so much for your awesome advice, as well as condolences for my grandfather! my fam and I are doing great. :) <3
So the big mystery: what did scarlet wind up eating?
Well I was gonna do the egg white omlette thing but everything at this restaurant comes with pancakes. I was last to order, but my dad got the vegitarian skillet and it was out my mouth before I could think twice. Hmm, so diced potato style hash browns mixed with veggies, topped with eggs and cheese, along with three buttermilk pancakes. Hell no. I changed the eggs to egg whites and said no cheese. When the food came I immediately pawned off a pancake to my mom who was unhappy with her measly three choc.chip pancakes with her two eggs. Ha. Take that miss I weigh 165. Then I used like thread size streams of syrup (two on the egg whites, three on the pancakes) and skipped the creamed butter. I ate the 2 pancakes, ate the eggs (which did not have grease! Woo!) And ate all of the veggies out of the hash browns (okay, I might have had a few pieces but mostly not). Then I did another mean thing: I knew my mom had wanted hash I gave her the now veggie-less hash browns. Which she drowned in syrup and promptly ate. I hope this doesn't make me a bad person to say that I felt SUPERIOR not eating all of that crap?
Then since it's so nice out today I suggested we walk on the lakefront. I killed them for an hour one way, and right now we're taking a rest (as soon as I post this I am going to suggest walking back). So let's see, assuming we kept at least a 2.5 mi/hr pace, it'll be about 5 mi total. Yeah, that sounds good enough to obliterate what I ate. Who knows, I might actually lose some weight!
Okay, off to go walk and enjoy the weather!!!!!!
Scarlet <3
PS: I have found my new idol: Lara Stone. 5'10 and a size 4. I want to be this sooooo badly. I'm posting a picture. Idk where it's going to show up at, probably at the top. I am also obsessed with Zoë Saldana, she's so thin and pretty. Her picture is up there too!<3
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning?

Invisible. Non-existant. Not in the form of anything.
Bad news. So my grandfather passed on sunday, but due to the fact that there were some major strains in the family and heartless betrayal and such, I didn't know my grandfather very well and didn't like what I saw when I did see him. So I don't feel much. But my mom is kind of conflicted cause she's not going to the funeral because the people there are gonna make things ugly if we go. So anyway, the funeral is tomorrow, my mom and dad got this "awesome" idea to go celebrate my grandfather's life by going to eat his favorite kind of food: breakfast. So tomorrow I am expected to eat. I am going out of my fucking mind. I keep trying to come up with healthy choices: eggs? Yeah, drenched in grease. Pancakes? Really? All those carbs and sugar and did I mention SYRUP? Maybe just eat a meal and purge it? You and what army of toothbrushes, you novice purger. It normally takes me, idk ten minutes to do a full purge. I don't think I can do that at the restaurant and I don't think it's got a single person bathroom. So I'm kinda screwed. I could take laxies but they don't help much. Mine are too weak. They aren't exlax, they're like correctol, read: no pain, but also doesn't work as well. Help me!!!! What do I eat????? Also I should note that would just about be it for the rest of the day. Maybe a small juice at night if I absolutely need it, but whatever happens at the restaurant will be IT.
Thank you guys for your sweet comments about the weight loss. I'd say more to effectively show how much I appreciate it, but I'm wayyy too stressed right now. Just know I love you.
Scarlet <3

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Weigh In Day!

So I started this thing with 21 lbs in 21 days...
...And now I am at 17lbs in 14 days!
Yes my lovelies I am 216.0 today, so new low weight!!! Four pounds in a week isn't bad, but I can deff do better!
So the plan this week is:
Bfast: 8oz smoothie or 8oz juice
Lunch: Skippable. Drink water.
Dinner: 8oz soup or 8oz smoothie, but soup will round out my vitamins for the day.
Total cals? Somewhere in the hamptons of 300cals max. Let's see where this takes me!
Charlie and SkinnyBusiness, hahaha, you guys totally cracked me up! It wasn't my intention to make him feel bad and guilty! (Yesitwas, yesitwas, yesitwas!)
Also sorry guys I got sidelined yesterday so I didn't get to catch up on blogs but I will as soon as I can!!!!
Wish me luck on my physics exam!