Monday, September 28, 2009

Vultures

"Down to the wire,
I wanted water but i'll walk through the fire,
if this is what it takes to take me even higher,
then i'll do like i do when the world keeps testing me, testing me, testing me..."
--John Mayer "Vultures"

Hey Y'all!
So, I know what you're thinking: What the heck is up with the song? Weeeelllll....it's the theme of mi new plan. a way to hold on to what you work so hard for. But first, let's look at mi weekend shall we?
sooo I was only able to juice fast on thursday. Meh, and i had to eat fri,sat, and sun! Looking at mi blog you know i have a history of gaining massive amounts of weight over the weekend and it has become something i routinely dread. However, this weekend was different. I actually LOST WEIGHT!! I lost half a pound from friday. so now i am 231. yay! It's amazing and i couldn't figure out why it happened until i read Lexy's comment. My Metabolism is freaking back!!!! I was silly starving myself all week and then eating normal on the weekend. of course i was going to gain! so this time it will be different. Now to THE PLAN!!!
THE VULTURE PLAN:
You know how vultures never really kill anything, they just wait for it to die or eat the scraps of some other animals' kill? That's how i'm going to be, like a vulture. You eat your safe foods most of the time, but if you must go to a restaurant, order the lightest thing and taste other ppls stuff if you feel the need. no one is going to let you binge on their food as humans are habitually stingy. at least mi parents are and i really don't eat from anyone else. Here's an example: on Saturday, mi fam and i went to a chinese restuarant. I got a large wonton soup and two spring rolls and some spicy (seriously!) cabbage. but then i shared the soup, and was able to give like 3/5 of it away, and i drenched the spring rolls in HOT mustard with only a little sweet n sour sauce and ate my cabbage. not much right? Mi food was GONE by the time mi parents Govenor's shrimp and sweet and sour shrimp came along. i looked like an idiot sitting there w/ no food. so i nabbed some rice and some of their leftover sauce and like one shrimp from each dish and some stray veggies and ate that. i didn't even finish all the rice as i felt i had gotten too much. and that was pretty much it for the whole day. that sounds Great to me for a night out at a restuarant. That's all you gotta do girls: Don't STOP eating completely, cause your metabolism will throw a shit fit, but make it burn what you do eat (safe foods) and vulturerize yourself when you can't stick with only safe foods and don't want ppl to ask questions. You want pizza? go narc a bite of someone else's but do not allow yourself to buy one or have a slice of your own. it's that simple.
The song at the top not only helped to introduce mi plan, but i am down to the wire. i need to lose 32 lbs in five weeks. my b-day is november 7 and i want to be under 200 by that time. that means i need to lose 7 lbs a week. i think i can do that? I need you guys' help tho. I need safe foods. so far i have apples, lettuce, my roasted seaweed packs (only 40 cals! and they boost metabolism!), pretty much all veggies, but what else? help please!
I also just got mi hair done (straightened, it looks so pretty!!) so i cannot really work out except something that won't make me sweat like a leisure ride on my stationary bike but not enough to sweat and maybe for a long duration? which eggs me on to stick with mi diet. it's like "ooh that looks good...but how would i shift the weight i would gain from it w/o excercise? oh well, can't eat it, i guess" it's funny how mi mind works sometimes.
I don't know my exam grade yet (boo!) and hopefull i will know tomorrow, which means you guys would know on weds. but i will def. know on thursday and tell you guys.
Thanks for all the sweet comments on mi last post and tell me what you think of the new plan!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I was meant to be better...

Okay so for the past couple of days i tried to be normal. i tried to eat less and move more. I tried and i lost NOTHING. i can't take this. so i'm back to juice fasting, with only maybe raw veggies and fruit in between. That is all! i will bypass the weekend and not get fat. I will be thin. I WILL.

In other news i finished my orgo exam today! I felt really good about it so let's pray for a good score! Thanks for all the lovely comments and hello to new followers! i have LOTS of studying and HW to do this weekend so i won't be on much, but i will tell you guys results on monday. i'll try to read blogs when i can!
happy Weekend!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Scale Hates Me (of course)

Hey Y'all,
So my scale hates me. I have no idea what i weigh because i weighed this morning and it said 234. then 233. then 232.5. i weighed five times extra after the last number and it stayed at 232.5. so i guess i'm claiming that as mi weight but i don't think i should weigh for a while. it makes my defenses lower when it's a good number and it depresses the hell outta me when it's bad, so i'm just going to wait until monday or something to weigh again. if i keep thinking that i'm huge i'm more likely to stay on the path. and even though i'm going to weigh on monday it's during the week and i'll be crazy busy.
i have so much to do in this next week and a half: orgo exam on thursday, map quiz on thursday, psych exam weds(next one, not this one), and a chemical enginnering exam on weds(same day). AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to be so stressed so the last thing i need is an evil scale, but i will be working out to relieve stress! so hopefully i will keep getting thinner!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3

Monday, September 21, 2009

Lose gain, no more cheating!!!

Hey Y'all,
Okay so i have been semi bulimic as of late, in the form of those lovely inventions called laxitives. I know i said i wasn't going to get addicted, but i did which is why i am stopping IMMEDIATELY. On friday i took some because of the buffet, on saturday i took some because i ate heavy food and i'm impatient, on sunday i didn't take any because i have school today, but the first thing i did when i woke up was pop some more. So this is going to stop. TODAY. I am doing a five day juice fast and then the weekend is a time to restrict, restrict, restrict!!! No more being a little bad and all this "oh but i'm at 230 i can eat a little something..." NOOOOOOO!!!!! I can't i gain and I laxitive and i still have a huge gain but i guess not as bad as it could be. the laxitives just started working so that should knock off 1.5lbs and if i continue the trend i had at the beginning of last week, i should be down an additional 2lbs tomorrow which would take me back down to 230 and then on to lower weights!!! my goal this week is 225 or less!! so let's pray that i get there!
Thanks for the sweet comments!
XOXOXO,
Scarlet <3

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Makeover

So Ya, The Blog needed a makeover. so it got one. LOL.
*Smiles*
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Catch and Release

Hey Y'all,
so yesterday i weighed in at 230. that was great and i was happy, but then i did something stupid: I went to a buffet with my family because i was seriously hungry. i had grapes that morning and by 5pm i was ravenous. I ate like a pig, and expected a high gain. this morning the grand total is three pounds. i was shocked. I could get three pounds off like by sleeping. a workout will knock off 1-1.5 lbs and i'm fasting today, which will knock off 1-2. i might even wake up under 230. I would have to laugh if that happened. just because it seems so strange.
So I am back to being good and getting thinner. I will be under 225 by friday. I'm praying for less.
So NEW FOLLOWER!!! HI WELCOME TO THE BLOG!!!
My week has been hectic, too many quizzes, too much homework. Haha, that's college for you. so i'm thinking if i don't screw up anymore or anything, i can lose 4-7lbs a week and that means by mi b-day, in the first week of november, i can be between 200-180lbs. and by christmas, i can be between 176-138lbs. I know the lowest i can lose is a pound a day on mi fast days and 7 max. so that would be really great. this is the great push ppl. i must be skinny by the end of the year. Any Ideas???
It seems so unreal that this is all i had to do to be losing weight by the minute. all i had to do was resist. that was all, why the fuck didn't i do that all this time!!!!
Sorry about the rant so anyway, i mostly maintained and i'll be back to 230 or lower by sunday or monday.
I'm off to read blogs and also, be sure to comment you guys, i love knowing what you think!
BE THIN ALWAYS!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Fast Day Three!!!

Hey Y'all,
so here i am at day three. i really didn't think i would make it this far, i was so sure that i was going to break but i haven't and won't! The scales have been oh so kind to me as of late. i am now 233.0lbs and going down. i have lost 2lbs a day! If this keeps up i can be 227 by saturday. I know also that i am not dehydrated as i am drinking water and juice all the time!!! so i really am getting thinner!!!! I might post progress pics at 220 or 210, or maybe even 200. we'll see. it depends on how i feel when i get to those numbers.
Yay!!! A new follower! Hi welcome to the blog!
Anyway, i feel kind of bad because i feel like i'm totally sabotaging my mom. as you guys know, she weighs 178, which is wayyyyy less than me, but i haven't told her i'm on a juice fast. in fact, she's stuffing her face with cookies and sesame bars. from mi calcs she downed about 2500 cals yesterday, so in time i may be able to catch up to her.
I was watching The Biggest Loser yesterday and it felt so good to see that all of those fatties weighed more than me, when last season that was not the case(sad i kno). I find it really thinsporational because it makes you not want to eat, want to work out, and feel like if you're losing drastic weight you're not doing something unhealthy (lol).
I've also made the decision that since this juice fast is so successful i'm going to fast M-F every week. I have school so i don't have time to think about other things during the week so i'll be able to get thin w/o the suffering. if i get down to 227 i will have lost 10lbs in a week. if i do that every week i can be what, eighty pounds lighter by mi b-day (in the beginnning of november)?? I'm taking into account the weekend rite now, i think one meal a day of veggies or a vegan treat (taco salad....mmmmm) as long as i stay away from rice and bread i should be fine. that way i might 1) lose more over the weekend, or 2) maintain. both of which are mi goals.
Yum, having a juicer is GREAT. it's supereasy and you can toss in just about anything. mi parents and i have the midgrade breville juicer. we got it for about $150 at macy's. look it up, it's AWESOME!!!
So how about a lil personal life?? I officially have a crush on the guy that sits next to me in mi orgo class. oh the plights of a young college student....maybe when i'm thin i'll have a shot seeing as he talks to me now.
ok thin mints, keep strong and starve on,
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Monday, September 14, 2009

Fast Day One

Okay so after a, let's say interesting night and morning, i woke up to 237lbs. i guess i can deal with that for now. I'm going to do aerobics as soon as i watch jeopardy!( I kno, I'm a neeeerd), so hopefully i can go down 1.5lbs of preserved salt/water weight from that shitty salty chinese food. Once i do that i can be 234.5 assuming i go down 1 pound over night after workout. then it's down hill.
I've been good, it's become a liquid/juice/gum fast. I have a question, i swallow my gum (sorry), it's a bad habit and can i still call it a fast?? I won't have any tommorrow though, for fear that i'm not being hardcore.
Thanks Yum for the advice about the laxies and how to avoid getting fat on chinese takeout and the juice. most of the time i juice my own stuff, just carrots and greens, though sometimes i'll drink some diluted grapefruit juice. you know, half and half, but everything else i drink straight. I probably won't be doing the whole 8 laxie thing anymore, that was painful, though it did get the job done. I'll stick with two only when absolutely needed. I really like not eating rather than eating and being glued to a toilet,lol.
So, best case senario i get down to 234.5 by tomorrow (too ambitious??) and then under 230 by friday. Please God let this work.
Think Thin Guys!!!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Chinese Takeout

So idk what the hell was wrong with me yesterday, i ate a jerusalem steak, a taco salad, 3/4 of a cheesecake slice, a peanut butter cookie, a 24oz brisk ice tea, a large vegetable kow and the carton of rice that came with it. yeah. so no surprise that i was up to 239.5 this morning. five fucking pounds. ugh. so i thought i would fast today. but then mi parents wanted to go BACK to the chinese takeout. panic,panic,panic. then i decided not to get anything. but then my mom was all like: "are you sad, my is my baby sad? are you fasting???" I said no and that i just had to go across the street to get a juice from walgreens. i wound (is that right??)up with an apple juice and a 48count pack of walgreens knockoff exlax. oh yeah, i did it. i wound up eating some of mi dad's leftover shrimp hong sue sans shrimp (I am a vegan, all that yummy stuff i listed earlier were vegan versions) and then as soon as i got home i downed 8 laxies. I read on one blog that the girl went down five pounds after a bad binge. so if i do that, i will be back to mi low weight of 234.5. i am praying that will happen. praying, because i was close to a new goal weight.



This next week i am attempting to do something i've never done: I'm going to try a five day fast. i will go with water as long as possible, but at the very most only juice. the key is no food. I will try to get to 230 by the end of the week or lower. I need to see a number that starts with 22 instead of 23. so wish me luck thin mints, i'll need it.

XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Thursday, September 10, 2009

So Thinspiring!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADxQGuEo5_E&feature=fvw
It's about this girl who developed anorexia in college and lost 45lbs in two months. I have to say that i wish i could lose that much in two months...I don't even see some of the most hardcore anas on here lose that much...wouldn't our lives all be easier if we could though?
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Houston, we have a problem...

I'm freaking out and i don't know why.
My body does this weird thing that when i lose a lot of weight(5.5lbs...this past week) it kind of has to balance itself by going up a pound, which is why yesterday i was 235.5, and after eating little (one meal really), i am down to 235. I didn't eat all day, literally this time. i had a green juice earlier before i left for school (mi first class is at 2PM), and then i was at school until 5pm and i bought like one of those small lifesaver size rolls of wild cherry hard candies cause i was dragging and i had to take a quiz in mi orgo class so i thought i'd boost mi sugar level. okay. dad and i get home then decide to go to Whole Foods (vegan heaven, vegan ana hell) and get something to eat. i wound up forgetting to get a meal and got a chocolate monster cookie (lol..) and some carob raisins. the cookie was kinda big, but watevs, it's vegan. and the carob raisins...well, we won't deal with that cause i kinda love 'em. anyway, i felt kinda of proud, just a roll of candy, a cookie, and some carob raisins for the whole day and by this time it's 7:30pm and i'm not going to eat anything else. but for some reason after the meal i went to the bathroom and it was empty, so i did jumping jacks for two minutes and then used the bathroom. i didn't understand it. i wasn't bad. the things that i ate would have normally been snacks with mi other bfast lunch and dinner. WTH is wrong with me!!!! I'm not gaining, i'm losing, and i'm not really eating, i'm eating one meal a day, so why am i acting all weird!! I'm going to work out later on cuz it's mi thing, but am i losing mi mind??? I'm starting to think i really am switching to the opposite end of the spectrum on mi eating habits. from COE to EDNOS, with a penchant for starving.
Idk, why am i boring you guys with this lame-o stuff. Anyway, i had a good day and i am moving on to the weekend!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Hopefully a super low weight tomorrow (one pound, please) and happy times!!!!
XOXO Think Thin and Be Thin,
Scarlet <3

Monday, September 7, 2009

WOOT!!!!!

Hey Y'all!
I hit a new low weight, i hit a new low weight! (excuse me while i revert to childhood for a few seconds,lol). So as you can tell, i hit a new low weight. I am now 234.5lbs. which is fab for me. This past week i somehow had let my weight spiral out of control back up to 240lbs. and that's not weighing in at night after a ton of food or anything, that's in the MORNING, after sleep, which is why i sounded so completely depressed on mi last post. i felt like a failure, and now i feel like a winner!!! Thanks so much to sorry_i_can't_be_perfect for your words of encouragement, it means a lot to me! So i suppose i am off to better and lower weights right!
Also wanted to do an update on the whole EK thing, yeah, he's a jerk so that is out the window. though he's just another one added to the list of ppl i am going to make sick and have totally sucking up when i'm slim and beautiful.
I am so happy i could just jump around all day!!!!!! I've also added working out EVERYDAY in some form or another. rite now i'm sticking to donna richardson's back to basics tape that i found recently (old skool aerobics, yeah!). it's kinda of funny because everytime i do it at night i go down 1.5lbs, which i think is hilarious. I love it.
so that's an update on me, hope everyone is doing great and getting thin!!!!!!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Ghost

HEY I'M STILL HERE!!!!
I kno i've blinked out lately, mostly because i was soooo dissapointed in myself and frustrated with mi body and the whole: Eat alot=gain, eat normal=gain, binge==GAIN, eat next to nothing=small losses. so yeah i was really pissed, i haven't quite figured out mi metabolism yet. anyway, I'm on a juice fast right now, i''m not the beat at it but i am trying. yesterday i think i had two grapes before i mental slapped myself. so i am doing well, down 1.5 pounds since yesterday, but i'm not gonna tell mi weight until i am quite satisfied, sometimes when i think i'm soing well is when i mess everything up, so i'm treating myself like crap on purpose. So i'm catching up on blogs so i'll catch y'all later!!
XOXOXO,
Scarlet <3