Saturday, January 30, 2010

Again and Again

Hello you lovely, lovely people!!!
All I have to say is: WOOT!!!!!
I am 221.0 today (lost 1.2 lbs) and I am crazy super happy!! That means that tomorrow I cross into the teens!!! Yay!!!!
I don't have much to do today, finish cleaning both mine and my bro's room. My mom saw the elliptical in my room, but I always take off the handles so I can just say that it's in there temporarily because I just "couldn't clean my bro's room" because it took up too much space (not a complete lie, liar, lol). She totally was okay with it. Though I didn't mention that I'm USING it. Oops.
Comment time!
M-ilie: ha, yes, we tall girls have to stick together! I am seventeen, going on eighteen in november. :)
~Naomi~: *does happy dance with you* yeah, dropping all the weight will be a pain, but it'd be an even bigger pain NOT losing it.
Jenny: I am glad you caught some happiness, I hope it is highly contagious and that I am completely infected, lol, I just made happiness sound like SARS or something. Yeah, money and looking good? The ULTIMATE motivator, haha.
Thanx for the sweet comments and constant motivation, I appreciate it sooooooo much!!!!
Scarlet <3

Friday, January 29, 2010

I Kissed The Scale And I Liked It

The taste of it's lovely display! Hahaha, as you can tell, I am in a very, very happy mood today.
I weighed in and got a delightful, amazing, and absolutely delicious (if I do say so myself) number: 222.2
Yep, you read it right, new low weight on my new scale!!!!!! And to sweeten the deal, my bodyfat dipped to 39.5% sweet!!!! I lost 3.6 lbs in a day!!!! I don't think that has happened ever!!!!
Also, my dad made me a new deal: if I reach 205 by my sis inlaw's bday (february 17) I get back the money I paid for the scale! So 17 lbs by the 17th! Let's do it!!!
and thank you guys for answering my question! Your choice falls in purrfectly because my mom want to paint my bro's room tomorrow!!
Also, I realized that I get comments on past posts and I didn't notice until yesterday, so:
Violet: I think I love you. 122.8 in my pics? Hahahaha! <3<3
One other commenter (I'm sorry I don't want to destroy your name, my french is very bad): I am 5'9.
Thank you guys for all of your super sweet comments!
-H-: thanks for the advice!! What my parents don't know can't hurt them!
~Naomi~: thank you for saying my plan is brilliant!!! Also you're right, I need to keep motivated with working out!
Jenny from the block, lol: welcome back! Thank you for your compliments!! And yes, I totally love my new scale. It may not always give me the number I want, but it'll never tell me multiple numbers!! About my control, I realized that as long as I didn't have it I was only sabotaging myself. :)
Scarlet <3<3

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Day one done, let's do it again!!!!

Hey guys!!! So I did make it 24hrs yesterday w/o food. But around the 26 hrs mark I ate some broccoli and an apple (this was around, idk, 10pm?). I'm still fasting today so it's no big. I lost 1 lbs and I have a brilliant idea. Probably better than any plan I have ever had. I am going to attempt to fast every single day(after today). I will try to hold off from food until around 7pm, when if I choose to, I can have an apple and some raw veggies(but no more than the size of my hands cupped together). That would be about 200 cals a day and if I lose a pound a day, that's 7 lbs a week!!!!! Yay! There will be no thought of : I'm fasting but not really. I will be fasting until seven every single day and eating a very small portion of food. It's just that simple. If I do that, I'll be at 199 in no time. That is the goal and I must make it. Let's set a goal date: by March 1st I will be 199 or less. Otherwise, well idk, I'll be really dissapointed in myself and that is an enduring punishment.
I have a question for you guys: I finally convinced my parents to move my elliptical to the second floor (where my room is), but the problem is they really don't want me working out over their heads because our house is super old and they don't want a chunk of plaster to hit them in the head or something. My room is RIGHT above their bedroom. Now I can move it to my brother's old room, but it's claustrophobic in there and I'd have to move a ton of stuff to the basement. Should I:
A) workout in my room while I clean my brother's room and just not tell my parents
B) don't workout and try my best to hurry up and clean bro's room so I can workout
C) suck it up and deal with claustrophobic conditions for now but still be cleaning and working out
Let me know what you guys think!
Thanks for the sweet comments!!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Fasting, day one!!

Hey, I didn't know if I should blog to you guys during my fast or after the first day is done, but I'm just going to go with blogging during the day/afternoon.
I am so happy today, I almost did a backflip. I was right. I was totally right about my water weight, because it's that time again. But, this means that once this week is over I will be hella skinny!!!! Yay! I don't feel like eating at all, so that's a good thing.
I have my green tea all brewed up and super strong, and my apple cider vinegar water ready to drink, and a steel trap mental state. I am ready to fast.
Dana: well I try for 0 cal fasts. Normally the first day is zero cals and then I try to keep it as low as possible for the next day. If I do water, fab, but if not I try to keep it around 300 or less. Also, I am wayy jealous that it's so hot in the down under and so freaking cold over here. Grrr!!!lol :)
Thanx for the sweet comments and wish me luck!!
Scarlet <3

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Too Much Too Soon

Okay so the fast didn't happen, but I think that was mainly because I didn't give myself enough prep time to get back into a rhythym. I just kinda jumped in and belly flopped. Ouch. However, there are still five days left in the week so I am going to fast on wednesday and thursday. I can deff get through wednesday and thursday I am at school from 10am- 9pm. So yeah if I leave the house w/o food or money I am good to go.
My body is fighting me again though. It REALLY wants to hold on to water. Seriously. I ate a lot of carbs yesterday (damn those moo shu wraps!) And drank a lot of liquids, but I'm betting I didn't go over 1000cal in food and because I felt guilty I did an HOUR on my elliptical. So I was expecting at the very least maintanence. What I got was a 2.4 lbs gain. So I know it's not food weight, it's gotta be water. But I will keep going. All of this effort is just going to be stored up, and even if it doesn't seem like I'm losing weight, when all of this water weight goes away the number on the scale will be so fine I'll lose my mind. Wow that rhymes, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! Ha!
Anyway in a weird thing of deja vu, I got a bad number on the scale and I had a physical chem quiz today!!! Bum, bum, bum!!!!! But this time I aced the quiz perfectly!! Woop!! So the plan today is to restrict. I only had a cup of carrot juice before I left the house and I'm not getting picked up until 4pm so I'm pretty safe with food. I would laugh out loud if I wound up fasting today, wednesday, and thursday. We'll see.
Scarlet <3
PS: hello new followers!!! Also, Bl33ding Truth, we can still be motivation buddies!!! Just be sure to start blogging again and I hope that everything worked out for you!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Business Time

OMG, thank you guys for all of your comments and ideas...I appreciate them SO much. *passes out a round of hugs*
So based on you guys' comments, here's what I should do:
1) Stop Obsessing so much because the scale WILL go down if I keep going.
2) DON'T BINGE!!!!!! This is super important. Not only will it make me feel bad but it'll put me further from my goals, so it's a no go.
3) Stop thinking about my sis in law. She doesn't play an important factor at all, she's just a means of irritation. The focus should be ME in my goal acheiving, not her.
4) Fast two days a week!! Well that would have to be mondays and weds. Those are the days when I'm at school for the shortest amount of time and I'm not going out. I can huddle in my room and get my homework done and not eat.
5) Eat around 500cals on non-fasting days. I am very close to this now so I won't have to change my routine much.
6) Keep working out!!!
Okay, so that is my plan for now, maybe forever if I get amazing results, lol.
In other news, I am .4 pounds down today, but I didn't get nearly as much sleep as I did over the weekend, so that may be why it's not a bigger loss. Gah, what is wrong with me!?! Am I seriously griping that I didn't lose ENOUGH!?! There was a time I remeber griping because I wasn't losing at all, or worse, gaining! *count your blessings Scarlet, they come in .2 increments*
So I am off to school and my fast. I should let you guys know that I am 224 today, so I am only 1.2lbs off of my lowest weight on this new scale. So I may give you guys an extra sweet number tomorrow!!
Scarlet <3

Sunday, January 24, 2010


My body is really stubborn. I am only down 1 lbs from when I last posted. Gah. I need this weight to come off!!!
Also, it appears that in four short weeks I'll be meeting my brother's evil wife for the first time in person (don't ask, they've been married for four years and me, my mom and dad are just meeting her). Now apart from the fact that I don't like the twat, I have to look amazing when I meet her. I need to be under 200. But I have no idea how to do it. I've upped my exercise, cut back on food, what else can I do!?! Also, my dear sis in law is only 2 and a half years older than me and she's had four kids (three of them with my bro), so this means I HAVE TO LOOK BETTER THAN HER. Serioulsly, I have to. For the sake of dignity.
Damn, damn, damn!!!! Life never fails to throw me curveballs!
So idk what I am going to do, but I'll figure out SOMETHING. I have to.
Thanx for the sweet comments and if you guys have ANY ideas please help me out!
Scarlet <3
PS: I am officially addicted to all of those crazy disgusting dishes make you never want to eat again!!! And I can see it on my phone!! 24/7 food avoidance helper! Haha!!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

I Am Happy, Please Stop Trying To Take It From me

I am so happy and yet so pissed right now. So I lost 1.4 lbs! Yay! I mean I did have more cals than expected (500), but I feel good! Today was weigh in day at my house! What that really means is that my mom and I weigh and my dad says he's too fat to weigh in, doesn't want to break his resolve blah, blah, blah. So my mom weighed in at about 172. I was really happy for her. Then my dad is all : you lost nine pounds!! No she fucking didn't. Last time she weighed 182 (she actually weighed 173 today but that was in like a shirt, underwear, and pantyhose) but that was in FULL clothes and at night! So she was like 177, so she lost five pounds. But now she's trying to act like she's the fucking weightloss guru now, bestowing her knowledge on the fatties. "What have you been eating, I need to know." She says. Then she proceeds to analyze my meal plan "oh your body is in screensave mode, blah, blah, blah, this is what I do, blah, blah, blah." Excuse me, are you Jillian Michaels or Jackie Warner?? I mean she's like a size thirteen now but she's only 5'7. So it's not like she's smokin' hot or anything. I am so sorry for this rant but it just get's on my nerves that she thinks because she weighs less than me she can tutor me. We lost the same amount of weight (if I didn't have the water weight sitting around)! Just because your number is less than mine doesn't mean you're better than me!!!!!!
Anyway, I am still sick, but doing much, much better, thanx for your concern -H-.
And Mina, my dog is sooo picky. Everything has to be just so with him, I wish he would eat everything I give him, but he refuses to eat veggies!!! Lol :)
Okay guys, I am off to get better and be skinny! Time to show mom whose boss. When she sees a ten pound loss two weeks from now, well we'll see who gives counseling to who.
Scarlet <3

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Not So Emo, 'Cause I've Got A Plan

Hey Ladies,
Thank you for for awesome comments, it really got me looking at what i have been doing lately. While i haven't been binging or not being smart about what i eat, i haven't been as motivated as i should. So i got a plan: aim for 200cals a day. i have meal plans on my white board at home, so bfast winds up being about 50cal, lunch is around 115, and dinner is approx. 35 cal. i can mix and match the cals as i need, but if i overeat at lunch there will be no dinner, etc. i figure with a plan like this and if i workout in the morning like i'm supposed to, i can lose weight like crazy. my dog ROUTINELY wakes me up at sometime between 7-8am. EVERYDAY. so if i start going to bed earlier, i can sleep, and then wake up, put him outside, and workout until 8:30, when i have to start getting ready for school. nothing crazy labor intensive, just walking around my basement, getting in a little cardio.
unfortunately i couldn't work out today because i am sick and under the influence of medicine. i honestly couldn't have forced myself to workout at 7:30am. well, i could have and i wish i had've because the extra hour of sleep made me groggier i think. so no more doing that.
so far today i had:
1 cup of Carrot/greens juice: 50 cal
Few Bites of Pasta: 50 cal (i am currently giving my dog pasta for food because i forgot to buy him dog food. only everything i give him has to taste good or he won't eat it, tsk, tsk. so i have to taste it. i spit most of it out, but i cooked it with butter so i am counting those cals)
i might have something else later, like a salad or something. idk. while i don't expect to REALLY hit only 200cals a day, i am going to sure as hell try. i have to do this. if i level around 300-400 cals, i will be quite happy. this will keep me in check and getting skinny.
Here's to being thin girls!
Scarlet <3
PS: It turns out while i didn't do so well on my quiz, i got an 85%!!! yay! next time it'll be 100% :)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Top things that happened to me today that totally fucked me up:
1) I looked at the scale this morning to see a 1 lb gain, felt like crying.
2) Went to my physical chem class and failed a quiz, felt like crying.
3) Looked at my calendar and realized that I'm gaining water weight because next week is THAT week, felt like crying.
4) Felt hopeless and ate more than I should have but felt semi happy.
5) Weighed myself at night when I got home and I just know I'm going to be a fat ass in the morning, feel like crying.
So my day was pretty much shot. FML, FML, FML. So I don't think I want any food tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Maybe never. We'll see.
Hope you all are doing better than me. I just wanna be the Naomi Campbell to My Friend, Skinny 's Victoria Beckham. :)
Thanx for the sweet comments!
Scarlet <3

Monday, January 18, 2010

Yes, Yes, It Is Real!!!

I am REALLY 222.8. It's not just, you came off a fast and have nothing in your body and some of it is bound to bounce back on. I decided to eat yesterday like really healthy foods (veggies, raisins, applesauce, mangoes, and walnuts and cranberries, eggs, moo shu wraps) and was totally prepped for the bounce back, but it didn't happen!!! I stepped on the scale and it told me great news. So today I am back to my 500cals a day plan, trying to get down to 218 or less by next monday.
Happy Dr. King day!
And thank you guys soooo much for your comments and compliments! It truly boosted my self-esteem!!! Thank you!!!!!!
Also in answer to Nikki's comment on how I could possibly weigh over 200 lbs and still look they way I do:
On my dad's side of the family we have this thing we call "compact fat" the fat somehow meshes itself and resembles muscle. So while I am around 222, I know I can easily pass for about 30 pounds less than that. That's why I have to lose so much weight because it takes losing quite a bit to look different (why I love my scale). Just wait till you see me at 130. I'm going to look like Naomi Campbell or something. ;)
Scarlet <3

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Post 100

Hey guys!
So I made it through day 2 of my fast, but I decided to end it here. I know my limits, and when I'm walking through Target thinking about how nice it would be to eat a tube of pillsbury ready made cookie dough, I know I probably need to start eating again, lol. XD
Anyway, I weighed in at 222.8 today! Woot! So that's 4.6 lbs down this week! Yay!
Also, since this is post 100, my first landmark post, I decided to post some pics. I decided on my abs, since I love them rite now. Excuse the look of my butt in these ugly sweats (they're too big now, they used to be too small!), and also my groggy mirror!
-H- and Jess! Thank you so much for your super sweet comments, I love, love, love you guys!!!
-H-: about the food cravings, they are always kind of there, but a good appetite supressant helps with the loss of food. You've read my blog, so I know you know I absolutely normally have problems with the first day of fasting, so don't be so hard on yourself. I've found that apple cider vinegar water helps immensely for the first day. That and mind over matter. You know you can go a day without food and that you can do it. Try to pick a day when you won't be surrounded by food. I have faith in you and I know you can do it. :)
Scarlet <3(times 100,lol)

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Continuing The Extended Post

Day 1 of Fast: January 15, 2010
Hey guys!
So since the next post is post 100, and I want to be able to say something amazing and thinspiring in it (I.e., not boucing in the 220s), I am going to make this post continuous. Most everyday I will post on this post until I make a goal I am super proud of. I weighed the same today, 225.4, so I am starting a 3 day fast (which may go longer if ketosis is as great as everyone says). I am not only starting the fast to break this plateau, but also because my dad challenged me, saying I need to go "hardcore". Hahahaha. Watch me.
Thanx for your awesome comments!
And hello new followers!!!!!!
Scarlet <3
Day 2 of Fast: January 16, 2010
Hey guys,
So I am on day 2 of my fast and I am feeling AMAZING. Yesterday went soooo well, I had 0 cals. I sipped on a liter of apple cider vinegar water all day and then had a Sobe life water later on. It felt so good to be in control. This fast is a lot different from my others because for one, it's zero cals and two I'm not hungry or feening for an oral fixation. Weird. Anyway, I weighed in at 224.2 today, so a 1.2 lbs loss. Yay! However, this seems so much lower from other times I've fasted where I've lost 2 lbs in a day. But, BUT, those numbers were according to my old scale which may not have been accurate at all. Oh well, I'm still fasting, nothing is going to change that. Period. I am truly hoping that I can get below 220. Seriously, I need that. I know I'm doing a three day right now, but I don't have to go to school on monday so it might turn into a four (oh look at me, throwing around long-term fasts).
If you guys have any advice on how to up my burn and make the numbers on the scale drop faster let me know.
And Mina, I hope your fast is going well!
Thanx for the sweet comments!
Scarlet <3
PS: I know this delete and repost method deletes you guys' comments, but I do read them and I'll try to address all of you who comment in the next addition to the post. :) and <3

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I Love It When I'm Right

Hey guys,
So yesterday I had a svelte 550 cals and I was 225.4 today, almost half a pound down from yesterday. My plan worked so perfectly, I had some applesauce for bfast (around 9-9:15am) and then I had an apple for lunch (12:40-1:05pm) and then I had a salad for dinner (around 7pm). I think I may up the time of when I eat dinner though so my body can burn most of it up by the time I go to bed. Maybe like 5:30 or 6:00? I normally go to bed around 12:30 am so six hours should be enough time for me to go to bed light. Let me know what you guys think.
Anyway, in other news, I am doing well at school. I haven’t run into my friends yet (or my enemies for that matter), but it’s only the first week so I am bound to run into them all soon. Most of my teachers have already assigned homework!! My physics homework is due Monday night (it’s online)!!! And what’s funny is that one of my profs doesn’t think the other profs are assigning HW in the first week. HA!
I have my eye candy for the semester already. He sits one seat away from me in my physics class. He’s really cute AND he was watching me on Tuesday during our first physics class. I am hoping that he’s also in my same section of physics lab so that we can be lab partners or something, that would make me really happy. I’m about to get the class roster now and type all the guy names into face book so that I can learn his name (or I could just ASK him, lol). We will see were this goes.
Okay girls, thanx for your super sweet comments and be sure to write new blog posts!!!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


So I'm leaving grade school. I don't care about the ABC anymore. I suffer and all I can get is three pounds a week? Hell no! So I am just going to have 500 cals a day. My body apparently needs consistency. I am also going to stop cooking my veggies. They take up wayy more space if I eat them raw. Also, they are metabolized faster. According to my nums, at 500 cals a day I'll lose at least three pounds a week until I reach 200 pounds. Then everything will be golden. I might toss in a fast day every now and then, idk, but I will deff only eat 500 cals a day. I need this. I want this.
Scarlet <3

The Numbers Tell Me So

Hey guys,
So the 400 cals went well yesterday and I even worked out a bit! Yay! I am still up .8 lbs though. :(
However, in the midst of my panic attack that followed weighing in this morning, I decided to see why my weight was going up. The numbers told me why. According to my calculations, I should be losing about 3.8 lbs a week (sooo slow for so much starving, but whatevs). Right now I am down 1.6. However, the 3.8 loss is if I follow the ABC exactly (doesn't happen with the veggie that I don't count and the veggie juices that don't count). So I should level around 3 lbs a week. What do you know, I am! So I guess my body realized it was burning too fast and threw the gears in reverse. I hope it's happy now.
Okay, I am off to school, love you guys!
Scarlet <3

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day 3, Grade A+!

Hey guys!
Soooo, the target intake for yesterday was 300 cals and I only had 295! And bonus I actually did some light working out!
1 moo shu wrap: 90cals
1 egg: 70cals
1 tbsp sweet chili sauce: 35cals
Most of a fuji apple: approx. 100cals
Total: 295cals
This was great and everything, but the bad news is that I am 225 today. I should also do some explaining about my weight yesterday that I quoted to you guys. When I woke up yesterday I was 224.4, but I didn't eat at school, came home, went to sleep, woke up at 5pm, used the bathroom, and weighed myself again and got 223.4, the number I told you guys because I figured what the hell, why not it's a real weigh in. Idk, idk, idk. Maybe the weight is from water or because I ate late last nite? I don't count veggies and I had some around 8pm while watching Gossip Girl. Maybe that's it, I can't eat late. Either that or my metabolism is throwing itself in reverse and I am in trouble. I am thankful that after today's allocated 400cals, the next days will be the infamous 100, 200, 300 block. Maybe I can lose enough to at least have a new low weight by saturday morning, which would make me sooo happy.
Idk, the point is that I am doing the ABC, and no matter what the problem is, my body can't hold out forever. Eventually, it's got to do what I want.
Thanx for your sweet comments girls, it's in times like these that I when I think it's not worth it, you guys keep me going. <3 <3
Scarlet <3
PS: Lyndee, it's true, they do seem a bit more cuddly (less terrifying!), and your comment did make me smile. :)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Day 2, Grade A

Hey guys!
Sorry for the late post, I have to be at school by ten am now, and then I was sooo tired by the time I came back that I just slept until twenty minutes ago.
My first day at school went well, I like my first prof. He's like a nice old man type. He reminds me of the old guy that retired from law and order (the cop?), except indian. So on to tomorrow!
Okay, let's talk about the ABC, day 2. The goal was 500 cals again, and this time I totally made it. On the nose.
2 Fuji apples: 240 cals
1 moo shu wrap: 90 cals
1 egg: 70 cals
Walnut powder with coffee: 100 cals
Veggies, no moo shu, no egg: 0 cals
2 Liters of water: 0 cals
Total cals : 500 cals
Again, I didn't work out but it's okay. I'll be moving around campus a lot soon.
I weighed in today at 223.4! Yay! So far I have lost four pounds, an average of two pounds per day. If I keep this up, maybe I can be a lovely 213 by the end of the week?
Okay, I am off to finally go eat something and take a bite out of my 300 allocated cals.
Thanx for the comments!
Scarlet <3

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day One, Grade: B+

Hey my lovelies!
I've started a bit of a grading scale for myself, so for day one of the ABC I gave myself a B+.
Intake Report Card:
2 Fuji Apples: 240 cals
1 Moo Shu Wrap: 90 cals
1 Egg: 70 cals
Sauce: 20 cals
3 Walnut Drink Packs: 240 cals
2 Liters of straight water
Goal Cals: 500
Total Cals: 660
Food Cals: 420
Liquid Cals: 240
So I gave a B+ because my meals were surprisingly balanced. Everything except the apples was part of my dinner which had veggies added (I don't count veggies, seriously). And I had my apples and my drinks. The drinks, well that was a tad stupid. I was going to have only 80 cals over, but I added some instant coffee to it, but my coffee is BITTER and I added a little too much, so I used another walnut drink pack. I should explain the walnut drink packs are like just idk, a "nutrition" drink that doesn't have that much nutrition (though a nice protein base).
I also did not work out, but I have been a busy bee prepping for school.
So I weighed in today and... 225.0!!!!
Yay! I was so happy! And my scale keeps track of how much weight I lose in total, so no more calculations for me!
So today is another 500 cal day, but my mom cooked BFast (really just what I made last night for dinner), so today will be in reverse, except no excess walnut packs!
Thanx for your encouraging comments and I hope all of you are doing amazing!
Scarlet <3

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A New Fire

Hey guys!
So good news: I got my new scale yesterday!!! I went to go look at it and my dad decided to buy it for me. The bad news is that my stats have changed.
New Stats:
CW: 227.4
Body fat: 41.3 % (ew, I remember a few years ago it was only at 40, which is still high)
Bone Mass: 6.6
Hydration: 43.2%
Yeah, my nifty scale gives be all that great info. It's super accurate and reliable. It gave me the same weight three times in a row! No errors! Yay!
Also I decided that I was kind of cheating on the ABC by giving myself "free cals". I mean, I'm sure it was fine, but I'm restarting the ABC, for real this time. This is totally going to put me behind, but I think it's better to do it this way. I haven't had anything to eat yet, but it's only 1pm. I just got into a major argument with the 'rents while I was chopping up an apple to eat, but post-blow up I put it in the fridge, I just wasn't hungry. So maybe later.
My life is one big drama fest. Lost a friend, fought with the parents, all in one week. Wow, I think I need a manual for this life.
Anyway, I want to be down to 195 by January 30. That is the new goal and I will make it. I WILL.
XOXO and Stay Strong!
Scarlet <3
PS: thank you so much Lyndee for your comment. It's nice to know it's not all in my head. :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Snow, Snow, Snow your weight...

...Gently down the scale, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a low weight! I am an AMAZING 220 today. So new low weight!!!! Beat my old one by a half a pound. Oh I am absolutely breathing on the teens now. I can't wait until tomorrow!
Yesterday went well, I had around 300-400 cals, mostly because of the sauce I used on my veggie wraps. Oh well. Today is 300 cals, so this should go well.
Life seems like it is moving so slowly, probably because I have nothing to do until monday when the new semester starts. One of my friends just transferred to my school so I have to find out what his schedule is so we can hang out. Also, I have to delete one of my friends from facebook (which is truly our main line of communication). You guys remember the friend who's surprise bday party I went to on New year's day? Well I know her from my old school and we kept in touch, and we go to the movies sometimes. But this time I went to her house and met her BF and her other friends, and I am sorry, but she acted super different. Like weirdish. Let me show you some examples of what was wrong with the party and why I now must cut ties with her:
1) No one honestly said surprise at the party. Everyone was just in the kitchen eating and drinking.
2) No gifts or cards for my friend, and we didn't sing happy birthday
3) No cake. Or cupcakes. Or anything with a candle in it.
3) My friend and her BF just came back from puerto rico, but they didn't show ANY pics
4) My friend and her BF had no tan. Seriously, it was 80 degrees, and they looked like they were close relatives to Dracula.
5) Her BF is majorly weird
Those are the top five. I really had no idea who she was. Why is she lying about where she goes? Why does she act so different around her other friends and treat ME like the little sister her parents forced her to take along? So I have to cut ties. Should be painless, as we aren't that close, but I still hate it when I lose friends. But you win some you lose some I guess.
Oh well, stay thin girls! And thanx for the sweet comments!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Hey guys! So I I maintained 223.5 today. Idk why exactly, but I don't mind. As long as I don't gain I'm okay.
Today went fairly well. It was supposed to be 100 cals, but I'm sorry, that just DID NOT HAPPEN. I tried, but I struggle with anything below 200 cals. 200 cals is hard too, but you can find something fortifying and fulfilling: rice and veggies in a nice low cal sauce, or two wraps with veggies, or something. So I had 400 cals, a high estimate based on what I think my rice, bean, and veggie mix came to. So pretty good. I really like the ABC, because if you stick to it you're fantastic, but even if you slip a little or make some modifications you're still in the clear.
I got my apples today! Haven't eaten one yet but I will in a little while. I worked out some (30mins) so I'll do the other thirty and my strength training before bed. Hmmm sleep. I'm really tired right now, I got up at 9:30 so my dad and I could go grocery shopping.
So the plan for the rest of the day is an apple and some water and sleep. Sounds sooo good.
Stay strong ladies!
Scarlet <3
PS, Idk what it is, but I look different from the last time I was 223. I abs look solid and toned instead of hollowed. But then again, last time I was at this point I had been fasting and starving myself heavily and not working out so maybe that is the diff.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Cool As A Cucumber

Thank God for cucumbers. I had made it nicely through my 400 cals today, did my hour of walking in place, caught up on blogs and everything. And then it hit me. This horrifying hunger, this craving for something sweet. If I'd had an apple handy it would have helped me, but my dad and I did not go out today, we're going out tomorrow. So the something had to be bad. And then I was seduced by Betty Crocker. She guided me to her cook book, to the page of how to make pie crust dough. No sugar needed, but would give me the simple carbs I wanted, all drowned in buttery goodness. I almost did it. "I have to do this" I thought to myself. And thankfully before I could sneak any flour into my mixing container, my dad asked me to make him something to eat with his medicine. He decided on cucumbers with sweet and sour sauce. I made it for him and then returned to my covert mission and stopped. "I don't have to do this, I can have what daddy had." So I had cucumber slices with sweet and sour sauce. So I went a bit over 400, but it was at least just a sauce. Disaster averted.
I weighed in at 223.5 today!! Woot! I am estatic. If I keep this up I can be like 208 or something by the time I go back to school on monday. WOO! That would be awesome. Hopefully I'll get my new scale before monday too, hoping for some kick back money when I buy my textbooks. Everything that comes under $500 is mine. I hope the books only come to like $450.
Okay so tomorrow is my 100 cal day, let's see how it goes!
Scarlet <3
PS: thank you guys sooo much for the encouraging comments. Thinking about you guys plays a vital role in my food and exercise decisions. I just wanna make you proud! :) <3

Monday, January 4, 2010

Going Strong

Hey my lovelies!
So today was 300 cals and I did really well with my egg whites and wraps and apples and tangerines. I had two apples but I gave one to my dad like an idiot. "I'll buy you two for this one tomorrow," he says. I agreed. That was not smart as I was sooo hungry later and had a monster headache, still kind of do actually. I'm going to work out later on, but I realized that I forgot to tell you what I weighed in at today: 226.5!!! Haha! 2.5 lbs in a day! And I ate food! That kind of weight loss only if I fast. The modified ABC actually works! It barely takes any thought too. I mean once the daily cals are gone, all that's left are fruits and veggies and water. Perfection.
I am so happy right now I barely know what to do. If I only knew it was this easy all along I could've been so much thinner by now! I'm not going to say nothing can go wrong (I don't want to jinx myself. You know, Murphy's Law and everything). I can't wait to get my new scale at the end of the month. I'm going to be thin and the first number it gives me will be a lovely one.
Also, hello to new followers! Man, I hardly ever see the little green people change so I was majorly shocked to see them screaming 28 at me. Yowza!
Okay, hope you guys are doing great and thank you for your very sweet comments!
Scarlet <3

The Slightly Modified ABC

Wow, you guys are so awesome, you made me feel really good about myself. I discovered a way to do the ABC without binging or feeling like I'm going to rip someone's head off: have "free calories". The free cals only include fresh fruits and veggies. I can cook veggies if I want and still count them as free cals unless I use some oil or sauce or anything extra I'll have to count the extra cals. I know it's kind of cheating, but I'd rather make it through the ABC with a few extra apples and carrot sticks than not at all. This rule of free cals doesn't apply to the fasts though. I'm going to try and wing those.
So yesterday was day 2 of the ABC and I did really, REALLY well. I had 490 cals, 2 liters of water, and 2 apples and 4 tangerines. That's all. Yay me! It was a bit of a struggle though. My mom and I went out yesterday for food as no one thought there were any "goodies" in the house, myself included even though I just wanted some fruit. So we go to Chinatown to this bakery that my fam and I used to go to all the time before we stopped. You know why we stopped? Because the bakery shit will turn you into a tub o' lard!! She asked if I wanted any and I was basically on the lines of "hell no and why are you guys eating it." She ignores me and buys a dozen of these custard buns. The custard buns are like four inches in diameter and look like mini round loaves of bread. Inside they are filled with custard. They must run 400cal a piece easy. And my mom bought a dozen of them for her and my dad. God help them. We proceed to the grocery store where I am to buy 2 cartons of eggs and 2 packages of moo shu wraps (this is where the afore mentioned 490 cals came from). Except, my mom had three bucks of she and my dad's goodie/extra food money left. Let me explain. We have food in the house. This is all extra, and since my dad didn't go with us, he just had what was in his wallet and how much of that he was willing to part with (he has all these things about emergencies, not getting to an atm blah blah blah). So he gave each of us six bucks. I had two dollars extra from some money I saved so that meant I had eight. Anyway, long story short I bought everything but they owe me 2 dollars now. I kept wondering how those buns tasted though. Were they as good as I remebered? According to my parents, no, the bakery had stopped using butter and was apparently a lard only bakery. My parents still ATE the buns though. Go figure.
So today I am having 300 cals. Probably 3 eggs and a moo shu wrap for 300 cals even. Then some apples, tangerines and water. Oh and exercise. 1 hour of walking in place (for a person of my weight, my scale is crappy but it says I'm 229 so maybe I just got fat over the holidays) burns 500 cals. Yay!!!!
So that is my plan for the day and I will not deviate.
Good Luck girls!
Scarlet <3

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

I hate Marcia Brady. Not the character, but the person who played her, Maureen McCormack (McCormick?). I was watching access hollywood and they were doing like a lose weight special type thing and Maureen was on. She said she'd gained a lot of weight and she weighed in at 155. I mean she's kind of short so she doesn't look all that good. But then the show followed her for four months and video taped her stepping on scales, weighing in, blah blah blah. I was happy and didn't care until, UNTIL she steps on a particular scale: mine. My model at least. My shitty, inaccurate, will-give-me-five-different-weights-in-a-minute scale. My crappy taylor digital. And you know what it told her? While she was IN CLOTHES? 130. One hundred and thirty fucking pounds in clothes! I nearly dropped to the floor in envy. I mean, she still had twelve pounds to go until her goal weight but damn, it was like being stabbed in the heart seeing MY goal number on MY brand of scale for her body. I wanted to cry. She went from 155 to 130 in four months, all while stuffing her face (with healthy food) all day. I didn't lose 25 pounds in four months. Hell, I struggled to get 20 off between august and december (this is before the holiday gaining and I have no idea what damage that was), and some days I don't even eat. So now I hate Marcia Brady.
Also, interesting, she said in her youth she used to binge/purge. Fantastic.
you know what else gets on my nerves? People who claim they had and eating disorder and are "all better now" and warning others about the dangers and are still stick thin. It's like really? Is it all that bad? You're skinny and you're alive and you're maintaining. Please show me a con somewhere. (Sorry for those of you who still struggle with self esteem issues and other mental effects, but I highly doubt the people I am referring to are like you guys).
I attempted ABC today. FAIL. I mean not epic but still a wash. I had like 1000 cals instead of 500. I did work out though so maybe I leveled around 700. I feel so lost. I can't track my weight and I look in the mirror and see no difference. My parents tell me I look better, but I can't believe them, they're my parents, they're supposed to say I look good. Some days I don't even want to face food. I want to be a coward and hide away with some books and pretend food is not an issue, that I don't need it. I wish I could live in a gym. Then I would be happy. I read my "ana horoscope" not too long ago and it said I should try to hate food. I thought to myself, that's silly, I love food, I don't like what it does but I love it. How can I ever hate it? But I see it now. I hate food. I hate the way it lures me in, even if it's not crappy and it's healthy, the numbers are always spinning in my head. Every calorie going up up and away. I hate the food, the way I need it, I hate what it stands for: having a good time, celebration, sadness, apathy. It has all bases covered. Food has made it so it represents life, and it seems like you can't have a feeling without it. Nothing shines quite as bright and things lose their sparkle. God, I sound like a recovering addict. But food is a drug, and we're all habitual users. Food is like the worst boyfriend ever. Betraying me every time I turn around. Enticing with tasty food and not telling you it'll pop up on the scale the next morning. With food, there are only three choices: be imprisoned with it, or be imprisoned without it. The thrid choice is a wild card: pretend to be houdini and spend your life breaking in and out of each prison to the point where you are balanced. Sorry to get so strange but I feel lost. So very lost. I need my scale now! I have to wait until I buy my college books though. Maybe I'll catch a break and they won't cost $500 to the tune of $50 to spare. That would make me happy. If not, I have to wait until the end of the month to get one and spend my entire allowance on it and beg my parents for the ten dollars short I'll be. Damn damn damn damn damn. Let me get a break, please I need one so badly.
Scarlet <3

Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions for 2010

Happy New Year you guys!!!
I hope you had a good time. So 2009 has come and gone, and 2010 is the new challenger. Here are my resolutions:
1) To be drop dead gorgeous by August. I must be 130 by this time and be a freaking goddess.
2) Strength train every two days and do a shit load of cardio as soon as it warms up around here (probably around may everything will be peachy).
3) Re-edit my book (been meaning to do that for TWO years!)
4) Appreciate my life and the good things I have more.
5) Be more outgoing! I am able to get along with so many of you guys on here mostly because idk I can hide my insecurities behind a computer. But this year I will make an effort to be friendly and talkative.
6) Get an internship this summer (I need one so badly)
7) Learn to drive or at least get my permit.
8) Get a new scale ASAP. I finally found one that seems to be the answer to my prayers: a health-o-meter body fat and hydration scale that runs $30-35. Yea! So we will see how soon I can get that
9) Spend more time with my dog. I love him, but a lot of times he gets pushed aside for more "interesting" things
10) Drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Seriously, I never do this and it's so bad.
So those are the ten things for me to do this year, woo! I have to go to sleep I have a friend's bday party to go to today. I'll be good I promise, if I can do nothing but eat one piece of cake and a cup of sparkling cider the whole day, lol.
XOXO and a Skinny New Year!
Scarlet <3 <3 (double love for the new year)