Thursday, December 31, 2009


I think I finally understand why I have been overweight most of my life. I get bored. The newness rubs off and the motivation lags. I want microwave type results but I'm always in the slow cooker. I did do my fast, but I was thinking to myself the whole time "I do not want this to happen five times out of the week." I know I would be skinny and all, but I was born with a rebellious streak. I get good grades because people at my age shouldn't be able to handle the level of work that I do. I go against convention A LOT. In most everything I do. Not intentionally, it just happens. Most of the time it works out for me. But this is besides the point. For most of my life I have allowed myself to get bored with the new shiny "diet" and fall into old habits. Because I refuse to accept the fact that I'm bored. So I accept it, I'm bored with Hopscotch after a week. So pitiful I know but I have a new idea for 2010: there are no plans. I will fly by the seat of my ass and hope that these smarts of mine aid me beyond school. I will still starve per se, but I'll do it without my knowledge if that makes any sense. Nothing is off limits food wise, so it's not the question of can I have this, it's do I even want this shit? For example, say I'm in a restaurant and I see something totally fattening and delicious sounding. I could eat it, but why? What does it do for me? It's a balance of pros and cons. Cons: it's fattening, it will make me feel guilty, I am not guaranteed to be able to work it off in exercise, it will most likely lead to other bad food choices which in turn will make me fat. Hmmm...ok. Pros: it tastes good and will make me happy (maybe, remember the guilt complex) for the time that I am eating it. So add it up: five cons to two pros. I don't eat it. Now say I want a salad such as my beloved pecan and feta. Cons: feta is cheese and therefore fattening, pecans are fattening, the dressing may be fattening. Pros: the pecans and the feta together are about the size of the palm of my hands, I won't feel guilty eating it, only a two tbsp container of dressing is included, it has lots of greens to give me nutrients. Add it up: three cons to four pros. I eat. With this check and balance system I can fight things. If at the end of the pro con war I STILL want it, maybe I can have a little, but I doubt after thinking about how guilty I'll feel after eating it, I'll feel guilty even considering it. So I'll eat everyday in small meals. I'll still count calories to keep myself in check and I'll buy a new freaking scale. I have a deadline. I need to have made amazing progress by august. I need to be like 140 or 130. I had 112 pounds to lose since buying my scale and I want most of them gone by the time august comes. I have that goal for a few reasons: I want to be thin (duh!), that's the one year anniversary of me buying my scale (even if it's complete shit now, it wasn't then), and that guy I liked from my orgo class? He's going to be in Ireland for the spring semester, but he'll be back and most likely in one of my classes in the fall and I wanna be smokin' hot. I want a fucking double take. Also, I turn eighteen in the fall which will officially take me off the "jail bait" list (can you say open season??) AND all the new freshmen come in the fall. You know why they call them freshmen? Because they are FRESH MEN. New guys. New hot guys MY AGE! Eeeeeeek!!! And for a girl who's never had a date, that is big stuff to be gorgeous and thin and around a bunch of guys who never saw me fat. Heaven.
So this is MISSION 2010. I am Jamie Bond and you guys are my sector MI6. Do you accept the challenge?
Scarlet <3
PS: Happy New Year!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Unwanted Visitors

So the monthly unwanted visitor came in town today so I have stopped weighing myself. Hopefull I can drop ten pounds and be pleasantly surprised when I weigh again. Maybe I'll have my new scale.
Anyway, I am fasting today (liquids only, low cal as possible). It's harder, idk why, I think I need to start to prepare in the morning because I wake up and the first thought is that it's just another day, and then I rememeber it's a fasting day. I think the first days are the hardest to make it through, especially when I still have to cook for other people. Go figure, no one seems to be able to cook in this house.
So I am doing well, no cheating! Only one snag in my plan though, my friend's bday is on friday so after this fast is over I'm going to have to eat two days instead of just one. Oh well, I'm pretty good at restriction.
Now to answer a question I got about the Hopscotch plan:
How the hopscotch works is that you follow a continual pattern of liquid fasting two days and then restricting one day, over and over again. I figured that long-term fasts are set ups for binging, so short fasts with a small break inbetween should work out well. You count cals always and try to stay pretty low during the fasting, around maybe 800 cals tops. You should lose about two pounds a day when fasting, and you fast 5 days a week, so ten pounds a week. Assuming maybe 3-4 pound rebounds from the food days (this is a high estimate. You may maintain or even lose during the food days. I don't know how other's metabolisms work so I picked a high number), so you will lose AT LEAST six pounds a week and probably a max of twelve or something like that. I hope this helped to clairify everything.
Okay, off to keep fasting!


Hey guys! I know I said I would update in the morning and now it is like 2am on the next day!!!! Gaaah, so very bad for my blogging! Anyway, I was (surprisingly) 224.5 today, but I changed my mind about my scale, I'm still getting a new one. This one acts like it's PMSing 24/7. So I restricted today kind of. I didn't refuse any food but there is nothing in my house all that fat inducing. I had some eggs this afternoon (I don't wake up early during vacay- it's just a fact) and then I had dinner at like seven or eight pm. That was dim sum buns with curried seafood. It was delish and I didn't feel guilty afterwards because I knew that at midnight funtime would be over and the new plan would begin!
I call my plan hopscotch. It's similar to my previous checkerboard plan but smarter. On the checkerboard I might have binged on the days that I had to eat and never lose any weight. Yeah I may have lost two pounds on the fast, but I was almost guaranteed to put them on the next day. In this plan, I fast for two days, eat one day and so on. I'll lose 5-7 pounds during the fasting and gain back maybe one or two (you never know). So let's see, about 6-10 pounds a week. That sounds soooo good. And doable. I'm starting tomorrow so let's see how it goes!
Scarlet <3

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Hey guys,
So I made it through the second day but it was insanely hard. I had 440 cals today in the form of a smoothie, and I was 226.5 today!!! Woo! However, I am not sure if I'll continue the fast. I was peering into the freezer today, correction SEARCHING, for this bag of hershey's kisses. I thought if I had a few I would be able to survive. Good thing though, it turns out my mom threw them out. She said it was crappy chocolate. So I made it through the day. But I feel so idk, lost. I wanted to go at least until the third fast day, and feel really accomplished, but I just I feel so strange. I ran outta coffee, my magical appetite supressant. I don't want to quit, not only because if I don't make it I'll feel like I let you guys down, and I'll get those looks from my parents. You know the ones: I told you not to do this psycho crap and you didn't even follow through. I am a perfectionist and I aim to please. If I don't "officially" quit the fast outright to them, I would have to go around nibbling on scraps like a mouse (that might actually work). I don't want to lie, I pride myself on NOT having to lie, to prove this life isn't as devious as the media makes it out to be, but idk what to do!! This may be my late night crisis and I'll wake up in the morning ready to fast but I doubt it. I know I restrict well, and I don't want to set myself up for a binge. What do I do girls???? I know I am a weakling, but I beg your forgiveness and ask for guidance.
Scarlet <3
PS: thanx for all the support on my last post. I love you guys!
I did break my fast. So very very sorry to all who were rooting for me. However, I did make it through 50 hours, which is a record for me. I did work out hard before I ate though. My ass is killing me!!! Lol, I hate my butt, I shall punish it for staying around. So monday(today!) will lovely restriction. I'll update weights and such in the morn!
Scarlet <3

On To The New Year

Hey guys!
Hope your Christmases went well and thank you all for your well wishes! I am happy to report three things:
1) I finally got my scale to work!
Yep, I moved it into my bathroom because according to the scale, my bedroom floor wasn't level. So now I get the same number three times in a row (though I do weigh myself backwards because I can never quite stand still, lol).
2) Post Christmas I am 230 lbs. I know what you're thinking: this isn't great news, this awful, you're up 9.5lbs from your low weight! That is true, but, BUT, this means that I am now going to be able to bounce back down quickly and also that over the course of thanksgiving AND christmas, I managed to maintain a 40 lbs loss. I know I'm always griping about how overweight I am and such, but when it comes down to it, I used to be much heavier. 270 lbs. As long as I stay low and maintain most of my losses, I am happy. Besides, gaining 9.5 is a drop in the bucket compared to losing 40.
3) I fasted today :)))
Honestly, I actually fasted today. I had 270 cals in coffee and then only water. I am soooo proud. This is the first time I've ever made it through a fast w/o a c&s or a couple of spoonfuls of SOMETHING. But not today my loves, I made my dad a delicious bfast, and watched him and my mom eat lunch and dinner. My trick? I realized that I never like being left out of things. I'm highly competitive and I don't like seeing others get things that I don't. So food was just another one of those things. I had my parents set aside my last piece of carrot cake and my shrimp buns and my piece of quiche. I said I can eat it on new year's day if I want. Who knows, the quiche might spoil, the cake might get hard in the fridge and maybe I won't wind up eating it, but knowing IT'S MINE and no one will touch it and I'm not missing out on anything puts me at ease. So day one of my six day fast is complete and successful. Let's pray tomorrow goes just as well. Wish me luck!
Scarlet <3

Friday, December 25, 2009

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!!!

Hello Skinnies!
Hope you guys have a very merry Christmas and enjoy yourselves. Unlike the mass anxiety I had about thanksgiving, Christmas is the time of year when I throw cares to the wind, have fun, and plan my new year's resolutions. So have fun my skinnies!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Restricted Access

Hey guys!
Yes I know, too many hiatuses. Idk, I used to blog all the time but I got sick of it being a rollercoaster. However, I have become master of my domain. I'm 225.5 today after gaining a shitload of water weight for no good reason. I'm guessing aunt flo is coming to town soon, but hasn't shown up yet, and it is driving me CRAZY!!!(Sorry if that's tmi you guys).
In other news my scale is completely wonky. I was on it like four days ago and I jilted it the wrong way and it cracked. Nothing visible (I checked) so I thought it was fine, but ever since then it has been giving me horrible readings. I weighed 230 with clothes but I'm 231.5 without?? (That was last nite) so this morning 225.5 came up 2 out of 4 times so I decided to count my blessings and take it.
I am out to buy a new scale, so if you guys know of any good ones from chain stores let me know. I was thinking about the weight watchers body fat scale or the health o meter body fat scale. I have read good reviews about accuracy about those so let me know. I am hoping that my scale is highly inaccurate and I weigh something much much less! *crosses fingers* oh another thing is that I can't spend that much cash so let's keep it under $50 please?
I am kinda bored over here. All of my friends are gone and my mom has been working lately so the fam hasn't been completely toghether. Also, my brother, his wife, and their four kids (yes FOUR) are estranged. I have never met my bro's wife or their kids. Our whole relationship has been restricted to phone calls. Sad, I know.
I was supposed to be fasting today with sorry_i_can't_be_perfect, but I get dangerous when I fast and there is nothing but once a year type food lying around. So it's easier for me to restrict as I have finally realized it's not only about eating less, but also what you eat. I've had a pecan and feta salad and a couple of ladyfinger like cookies. I am pretty happy, the salad wasn't big and it took forever to eat. So I am saited. I think I'll restrict until after christmas and then do a six day fast to be clean and pink inside for the new year and then decide what to do from there. I want to be 180 for January 11, when my semester starts, which I doubt will happen, but I wanna get as close as possible. At least under 200. We'll see.
Okay, no more hiatuses and hello to new followers!
Scarlet <3

Monday, December 14, 2009

Hi, Hi, Hiatus!!

Hey y'all!
so i know that i have been MIA for a while, but i'm back with great news! For one, i have a new low weight of 220.5, which i reached yesterday, but i had a lot of coffee on saturday, so i may have been dehydrated. so yesterday i drank lots of water and such and i bounced up to 222. so i have officially lost 20 lbs since i bought my scale in august!!!!! WOOT! I'm on an epic restriction phase rite now so i'm only going to go lower. I liquid fast (mostly) during the day and then have some soup at nite (all pureed soups, so kinda liquid). so who knows, i may be 219 tomorrow or something!
In other news, my semester is OVER!!!! Yea!!!! two of my final grades are in and they are As so i am still waiting on the other two. so i am very happy and relaxed and losing weight. i think i wasn't able to lose weight quickly during the semester because i was so stressed out. so now i plan to aim to  be under 200 for christmas. i think if i really try, i can get very very close.
Okay guys, Be Skinny!
Scarlet <3

Monday, December 7, 2009


Hey Y'all,
so i did a liquid fast yesterday with sorry_i_can't_be_perfect, and it went well, but i only lost 1.5 lbs. that was heartbreaking, but it's something. i refuse to say forget it and binge or something, because that won't do me any good, in fact i think it would highly depress me. so i am restricting to the best of my ability today, which for me means almost fast and break for little things. :)
I plan to do this all week, which means i should be able to knock off at least 1.5lbs per day which at the end of the week will look amazing. who knows, with the exercise i may be able to lose more. I WILL BE 218 BY SATURDAY. that is the goal, the promise. I will not fail.
in other news, i am starting uni finals tomorrow! So i will be busy and won't even have TIME to eat.
just wanted to give you guys an update! hope you all are doing well and getting skinny!
Scarlet <3
PS: I got this next part from Rasha Ana on facebook. She sent it in a message and i like it. :)


Ur not gonna ask anymore: wuts the secret !!! why those gurls r so skinny??? !!!



Can u hold a treasure's map without MOVING ON to get it If u knew that it has 40 million bux ??!!!!





They WILL let u down or lie to u & take the map instead...! some will tell u:

this treasure is only in ur head..or steal the map 4m u & search 4 it !! after they made u hopeless...!




Imagine that ur dream came true !!!! and u became skinny !!!

how ur life gonna change ????!

how many ppl that were ignoring u became suddenly friendly & attracted to u ????!

how's ur feeling in ur clothes????

isn't it an amazing feeling ????

ur feeling so pretty, skinny & pure!!!!!!!!





that's the secret..!










hahaha, love that. good luck girls!

Saturday, December 5, 2009


Hello skinny people!
So, my crazy cheapskate aunt cancelled at 9:30am, only two and a half hours before my doom. Ooh, this sounds a bit like that vincent price part of thriller. The funk of forty thousand pounds... Are closing in to seal your doom. I think I'm going to find the real lyrics and then edit them, lol.
The only bad thing is that I don't get see my younger cousin, but thinking back she probably wasn't going to bring him anyway, seeing that he just had surgery. So, good times.
Scary though, my dad STILL wanted to go to the buffet even without my aunt. Thank God my mom teamed with me. I mean we're still probably going to go to a restaurant, but I have more control, it's not going to be a buffet.
I'm 227.5 today, the weight is falling so more late night eating. If I make it past 7:30 at night without letting a morsel pass my lips I am just going to stick it out and fast.
Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind as I am SURE that somebody will pop-up and the buffet will scare me again. I'm glad that I had you thinking of your cousin, I hope you get to see them soon!
Okay guys, I am off to field the outside world!
Scarlet <3

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Fast, fast, fast!!!!

Okay so i found out yesterday in the middle of my fast that my aunt is coming into town for her birthday and the day after her birthday my fam and i are going out to lunch with her guessed it, the dreaded buffet. so i decided to eat yesterday and basically get rid of all of "my" edible food out of the house. I didn't gain anything, though i did miss eating an apple that i have yesterday, but i'll just eat it saturday morning to get my metabolism moving before the buffet.
And yes, i have a plan for the buffet, because i can't live without a plan. so the plan is the fast that i'm on, then go to buffet and eat absolutely no starches (ok, probably some dessert) but mostly any veggie (oh god they're all in oil, but it's probably my best choice, or a stirfry!!! just got the stirfry idea while typing, you would laugh if you could see my face of enlightenment, lol), and nothing fried. only regular fish. i can get two plates of food, but i will milk those and try to leave a 1/4 of each on my plate (they take them away!!!). the stirfry will take a while to cook so no one will focus on my food. my parents don't care if i don't eat that much since my aunt is paying (long story, but basically she's owed us a meal for like three years and has avoided us as far as going out because of it), and she's like SUPER FAT (all in love and honesty) and will probably be too busy stuffing her face to pay attention to me. the only wild card is if she brings my cousins (one is my age and the other is ten). my younger cousin ADORES me. like seriously, sometimes i wonder if he has a crush on me. but anyway, he's a sweetheart and he would notice if i didn't eat food, so if he's there i will have to probably finish my plates, or MAYBE i can pawn them off to him??? idk, that sounds mean. he just had hip surgery (his bone was portruding) and he's just my favorite cousin. i wish i could adopt him, he's that sweet.
we shall see. Also, i got my polisci term paper back, 98%!!!!!!! YES! and i got my orgo exam back, 94%!!!!! YES!!!! i didn't think i'd done all that well on the orgo but i did!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!! i hope my squeals didn't hurt your eyes, lol. so i think i'm going to friend the guy that i have a crush on in  my orgo class on facebook. he's going to ireland next semester, but he'll be back in the fall, and chances are we'll be in the same physical chem II course. i want to be skinny by the time he sees me again. so keeping in touch is the best thing to do. :)
Hello New Follower!! Welcome to the blog!
Nikki: Well, my parents ARE on a lose weight/ health kick, BUT, they like eating stuff they deem healthy. idk if it really is or not, but sometimes i won't let it cross my lips. and then i can't say oh buy me all this stuff that i can eat and don't touch it. it doesn't work that way. also i may try to get my dad to buy some apples in bulk (like a big case of 60). i know he'll do that, but as far as a variety of fruits, we like to shop at Whole Foods, which we have affectionately nicknamed "Whole Pocket". so it's not that we don't want to buy it, it's just that one apple is like three dollars. we'd go to regular stores to get our fruit but we're always paranoid about pesticides, steroids, and also the fact that stores wax fruit so it'll look shiny and you'll want to buy it. so, i'll figure something out.

Scarlet <3

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Crappy Chinese Food

Okay, we all know that diet wise, chinese food is normally really, really bad. I wound up eating two ADDITIONAL cans of fruit yesterday and this alfalfa sprout salad i whipped up. i was kind of happy, but then my dad and i went to go pick up my mom and everything went to shit. i had been ravenous all day, so when my mom was all like "oh i have a headache" blah, blah, blah. so she wants food. fine. we go to the grocery store and we buy some mushrooms and some thin buns (it's soooo cool, only 100 cal for top and bottom bread) and some granola in the intent of going home and making sauteed mushroom and alfalfa sandwiches. i would have been fine with this, i mean i was hungry (i had been strangely ravenous all day, idk why), but by the time i got home, it would've been late and sleep would've been a flight of stairs away. i probably wouldn't have eaten anything. but then my mom decides home isn't fast enough. so we go to a restaurant. uggggghhhhhh!!!!! i ordered 4 eggrolls, as did my mom, and my dad ordered shrimp over rice and a plate of fried wontons. alrighty then. i pawned off two eggrolls and ate four wontons. i didn't mean to eat that many, but i felt stupid sitting up there and my dad kept saying how he wasn't going to eat all of the wontons. unfortunately my hands were faster than my brain. anyway, i maintained/gained today/. idk, i either gained a pound or maintained 228, my scale was fucking with me. so i decided to water/coffee fast today. i have lots of studying to do with finals coming up next week, so maybe i can just huddle in my room and hide. we'll see.
in other news, i forgot to tell you guys, my mom weighed herself yesterday. last time she weighed i believe she was 175 (i kno, she's wayyyy lighter than me, but not skinnier, go figure), and now she's 181. yep, she gained 6 pounds. she fucking freaked. i kind you not she's all, i have to cut out massamun curry, and rice, and yeah i have to take a laxi tea, blah, blah, blah. so since i bought my scale she has lost three pounds and i have lost 13 or 14. yeah. she's so aggressive too, she thinks i'm happy she gained weight. i'm not honestly, though i did think her ego was starting to grow to the size of texas. i think it was planning to declare independance and become it's own country soon, lol. but yeah i'm only happy when i  lose weight, i don't get joy from seeing ppl i love get fat. people i don't like, well that's another issue, hahahaha.
Yes, this water fast is in an efforet to teach myself control again. because i have rules to follow and goals to meet. i sound so determined don't i? sure i do, and i just need to FOLLOW THROUGH!
Also, Nikki, thanks for the tip about the fruit cals. I would love to buy more fresh fruit, but it's a little out of my budget. my parents don't particularly support my "habits". my dad isn't going to buy all this special food just for me, but i think i will try to pick some that aren't in syrup, even if it is light. i mean for a dollar i can geet pineapples in their own juice so maybe that would be a better choice.
Okay, i guess i'm on too early for most of you guys, so i don't have any blogs to read rite now, but i'll check later. who knows, i might even update.
Peace, Love, and Skinny!
Scarlet <3
P.S. the Victoria's Secret show was okay, i didn't get all that thinspired. i wish they'd put Chanel Iman on the runway more, she's so thin! she's like my thinspo idol btw, i don't know if i'll look like that at 130, but if i think i can i know i'm way more likely to work for it. :)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Striving For Greatness

Hey guys,
So I am 228 today, and i am doing really, really well so far. i'm not really craving any "real" food, but i do want more fruit, lol. i may allow myself that luxury, MAYBE. i'm not sure though. i'm going to get my free thinspo today in the form of the victoria secret fashion show!!! woooo!!!!
Now a can of fruit is 240cals. mangoes are 330cals. so if i ate another fruit cocktail i would be at 480cals, which is really good. i haven't had many liquids, a 200cal lipton green tea and what i'm calling a 100cal coffee. sooo 780 cal total?? it sounds okay, not as good as 540cals, but much better than 1000cal. hmmm...idk. if i'm really hungry i'll do it.
in other news i am studying for my finals (next week!!!eeeeeepppppp!!!!). a kind of funny story:
i thought my polisci class was cancelled today because my teacher had said it was about two weeks ago because she was going to haiti to do some field work. so i came to school thirty mins past class time (my mom had to be driven to work and i would've never made it back in time for my next class) and out of morbid curiousity i pass  the classroom, and there is CLASSSSS!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! you don't know what this does to me, i am a goody two shoes. i think in the past three years i have only missed class three times (and i had to be practically too sick to move and i still studied in bed), and am almost never late, so this, this was horrible for me. i just pretended like it didn't bother me, but i'm thinking "Damn, what did i miss????" LOL, go ahead and laugh, you know you want to. i don't mind.
so i am off to be skinny and i hope y'all join in!
Scarlet <3