Okay, we all know that diet wise, chinese food is normally really, really bad. I wound up eating two ADDITIONAL cans of fruit yesterday and this alfalfa sprout salad i whipped up. i was kind of happy, but then my dad and i went to go pick up my mom and everything went to shit. i had been ravenous all day, so when my mom was all like "oh i have a headache" blah, blah, blah. so she wants food. fine. we go to the grocery store and we buy some mushrooms and some thin buns (it's soooo cool, only 100 cal for top and bottom bread) and some granola in the intent of going home and making sauteed mushroom and alfalfa sandwiches. i would have been fine with this, i mean i was hungry (i had been strangely ravenous all day, idk why), but by the time i got home, it would've been late and sleep would've been a flight of stairs away. i probably wouldn't have eaten anything. but then my mom decides home isn't fast enough. so we go to a restaurant. uggggghhhhhh!!!!! i ordered 4 eggrolls, as did my mom, and my dad ordered shrimp over rice and a plate of fried wontons. alrighty then. i pawned off two eggrolls and ate four wontons. i didn't mean to eat that many, but i felt stupid sitting up there and my dad kept saying how he wasn't going to eat all of the wontons. unfortunately my hands were faster than my brain. anyway, i maintained/gained today/. idk, i either gained a pound or maintained 228, my scale was fucking with me. so i decided to water/coffee fast today. i have lots of studying to do with finals coming up next week, so maybe i can just huddle in my room and hide. we'll see.
in other news, i forgot to tell you guys, my mom weighed herself yesterday. last time she weighed i believe she was 175 (i kno, she's wayyyy lighter than me, but not skinnier, go figure), and now she's 181. yep, she gained 6 pounds. she fucking freaked. i kind you not she's all, i have to cut out massamun curry, and rice, and yeah i have to take a laxi tea, blah, blah, blah. so since i bought my scale she has lost three pounds and i have lost 13 or 14. yeah. she's so aggressive too, she thinks i'm happy she gained weight. i'm not honestly, though i did think her ego was starting to grow to the size of texas. i think it was planning to declare independance and become it's own country soon, lol. but yeah i'm only happy when i lose weight, i don't get joy from seeing ppl i love get fat. people i don't like, well that's another issue, hahahaha.
Yes, this water fast is in an efforet to teach myself control again. because i have rules to follow and goals to meet. i sound so determined don't i? sure i do, and i just need to FOLLOW THROUGH!
Also, Nikki, thanks for the tip about the fruit cals. I would love to buy more fresh fruit, but it's a little out of my budget. my parents don't particularly support my "habits". my dad isn't going to buy all this special food just for me, but i think i will try to pick some that aren't in syrup, even if it is light. i mean for a dollar i can geet pineapples in their own juice so maybe that would be a better choice.
Okay, i guess i'm on too early for most of you guys, so i don't have any blogs to read rite now, but i'll check later. who knows, i might even update.
Peace, Love, and Skinny!
P.S. the Victoria's Secret show was okay, i didn't get all that thinspired. i wish they'd put Chanel Iman on the runway more, she's so thin! she's like my thinspo idol btw, i don't know if i'll look like that at 130, but if i think i can i know i'm way more likely to work for it. :)