Sunday, December 27, 2009


Hey guys,
So I made it through the second day but it was insanely hard. I had 440 cals today in the form of a smoothie, and I was 226.5 today!!! Woo! However, I am not sure if I'll continue the fast. I was peering into the freezer today, correction SEARCHING, for this bag of hershey's kisses. I thought if I had a few I would be able to survive. Good thing though, it turns out my mom threw them out. She said it was crappy chocolate. So I made it through the day. But I feel so idk, lost. I wanted to go at least until the third fast day, and feel really accomplished, but I just I feel so strange. I ran outta coffee, my magical appetite supressant. I don't want to quit, not only because if I don't make it I'll feel like I let you guys down, and I'll get those looks from my parents. You know the ones: I told you not to do this psycho crap and you didn't even follow through. I am a perfectionist and I aim to please. If I don't "officially" quit the fast outright to them, I would have to go around nibbling on scraps like a mouse (that might actually work). I don't want to lie, I pride myself on NOT having to lie, to prove this life isn't as devious as the media makes it out to be, but idk what to do!! This may be my late night crisis and I'll wake up in the morning ready to fast but I doubt it. I know I restrict well, and I don't want to set myself up for a binge. What do I do girls???? I know I am a weakling, but I beg your forgiveness and ask for guidance.
Scarlet <3
PS: thanx for all the support on my last post. I love you guys!
I did break my fast. So very very sorry to all who were rooting for me. However, I did make it through 50 hours, which is a record for me. I did work out hard before I ate though. My ass is killing me!!! Lol, I hate my butt, I shall punish it for staying around. So monday(today!) will lovely restriction. I'll update weights and such in the morn!
Scarlet <3

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