Wednesday, June 30, 2010

(Re)Strict Machine

Hey guys! Soo I've been okay as of late, I think I'm on a bit of a plateau but I'm not worried. I've lost 0.4lbs since sunday, which is okay considering what happened on sunday...
My parents and I wound up going out for pizza. The three of us, an x-large pizza, and a pitcher of lemonade. FUN. I didn't gain anything. Yay!
I've been keeping up with my workouts for the most part: monday I did the entire plan, but yesterday I only did morning and night running, but I did walk around for like an hour at a festival with my dad. Monday my intake was purrrfect. Tuesday I had a lipton green tea (200), a blueberry bagel(270), coffee w/skim milk and sweetener (???), and tabbouleh(330). Oh and craisins(400). So not awful awful.
I feel like I need to get my ass in gear but I have no idea what the hell that means anymore! It just burns me that I can't lose it as fast as I used to! BUT back then I was laxi, diuretic, purging, fasting girl. So I guess technically this is better. Kinda want to laxies and fasting back though...when I got my allowance, I came thisclose to getting some laxies. Seriously. I had gotten to the point where I had ten dollars and NO ONE KNEW. But I didn't, I bought some used cds instead.
I need to relax, I know. It'll come off, if I keep working and pushing right? Also though, aunt flo technically speaking goes away today (though she stopped on saturday or something?) So you know it could be water weight. I've been having to pee a lot today so you never knoooww! I might be really light tomorrow!
Today has been pretty great. I ran this morning, so that's good. I won't get my afternoon run (AGAIN) because I'm out with my dad driving my mom to work. But I'm totally going to run tonight.
Intake so far:
Bfast: banana(100), bolthouse farms green smoothie (140)
Lunch: 2 slices of toast(220), carrot juice(70)
So that is 530cals so far and it's 2:30pm. So if my dad wants to buy me dinner I'm getting tabbouleh again. That'll take me to 860 for the day. That'll make me happy and hopefully I'll lose more weight!!! I'm gonna catch up on blogs soon so look for me in the comment stream!!!!
Lyndee: hahaha that's awesome! We're turning into thin planners!!! Lolol :)
Elora Rose: thanks babe, but you can and you ARE!!!
Becca: LMAO!!! I know I used to hate running too! I had issues w/my ankles and calfs, but I think that was mostly weight related! Ha I convince myself to run because a) I can do it now, and b) it's the only time anyone leaves me alone for five minutes in this house! Hahaha :)
Z.: trust me I hear you LOUD and CLEAR. But just remember, eventually, it HAS to go!!!!! <3
B.: oooh yoga is a GREAT idea!!!! My muscles do tend to tense up from time to time!!! Oh yeah I tried not to weigh myself for a week once and I nearly went into conniptions! I had to take out the batteries just so I could randomly stand on it and "weigh" myself, lol so sad! :)
Ana B: I KNOW! I'm gonna google and see if you gain water weight at the end of the stuff too..PMS, but the p is for post! We can do it!!!!<3
I can lose all of this weight! Let's get ten cheers for optimism!!!!!
Btw the post title comes from Strict Machine by Goldfrapp. That song is awesome. "Switch me on, turn me up..."
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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Don't Give Up Five Minutes Before The Miracle

OMG, I witnessed a miracle today and how fitting since it's sunday! But first let me tell you how the past days have gone. The day after my depresso (the newest emo kid edition at starbucks) post I woke up with my weight higher by 0.6lbs. But my stomach felt fine so that was a good thing. I attempted a liquid fast and at the last minute (okay 5p) I said forget it and ate some food. And I worked out for 45mins. Then the next day (friday) I was down 3lbs!!! I ate okay, a little weakend (I mean weekend) food in there. Saturday I was up 0.4lbs. But I was like okay, that's alright I can eat healthy and everything will be okay. But saturday was death. I was okay. I had pb and J earlier and some other shit but still, okay. That is, until we went to this thai restaurant and I had oriental veggies over rice with brown sauce and I ate the whole damn big bowl. Then I encored with a slice of chocolate cake and a container of candy. Then I had a big ass bowl of watermelon!! Stratospherically high cals!!!!! I ran for an HOUR and I weighed myself (I do this every night, the threshold for no gain is about 2.5 lbs up) and AFTER RUNNING I was 5.2 lbs up. ShitshitshitshitshitSHIT!!!! I went to bed sad, thinking I was going to be sosososo fat today. I weighed this morning and I was pleasantly shocked because I didn't gain the estimated 2.7lbs, I only gained NOTHING! NADA! ZILCH!!!! OMG!!! I was like what the hell?!? But I'm so fucking happy!! My metabolism is alive!!
So due to this new exciting totally awesome news, I am launching into part deux of ze plan. I'm sticking with the 900cals a day, though probably closer to a bit less than 805cals. I have two toasts with mango butter jam (there's no butter in it actually) for a bfast total of 205cals. Lunch will be less than 300cals and same for dinner. I got all inspired by Katie's (skinnybusiness) planning of her day by hours and stuff so now I'm doing that too!!!
8:15am wake up
8:30-9:00am running
9:30-9:45am feed my dog and myself
10a-12:30p work
1:30-2p lunch
2:30-3p running
6-6:30p dinner
9-9:45p running + light weights
1am sleep
Oh I bet you noticed what part deux of ze plan is didn't you? Yep I run three times a day during the weekdays. I'm gonna count cals like a fanatic and try to lose 1 lbs a day. I don't think that's too much to ask. I NEED to be at least 40lbs lighter before school starts in late august. Hopefully I can get more than that. The weekend plans are just to stay as close to 1100-1200cals as possible. In restaurants get a salad. In stores always read cals info (duh).
No eating past 7pm. Ever. That way I can burn it all up!!
So even though I don't know what I'm gonna weigh tomorrow, most likely less than today because I have to go do laundry and I don't think too much food is in the cards and I've only had my toast so far, but I'm gonna declare the total loss this week as 2 lbs. Yay!
Let's see how low I can go!
Lyndee: aww thanks sweetie!!!! It's true maintaining is super important and it's a zillion times better than gaining! <3
Gaunt Future: thanks babe! :)
Sophia: haha I've had that feeling before! I remember I drank water and I sat there for like 3 minutes listening to it swish! Lol :)
Annika: yeah it did make me happy that he wasn't a big jerk! I did wind up skipping the event (it was a yard sale, lol) but not because I felt fat, I just had a ton of stuff to do! And hey the water did go away!!! :)
Emry: you're so totally right!!!!! Maintaining over weekends is especially important! :)
Jo: omgosh I adored your comment!!!!!! Thank you so much it made me feel a zillion times better!!! <3
Becca: hey you!!!!! It's nice to see you back again! Yeah I'd be worried if it didn't pop up too, but more that something is wrong with rather than preggers cause I still carry a V card, lol. :)
B.: hahahaha you were totally right!!! It's amazing because normally the water takes forever to come off but not anymore!!! Yay!! :)
Katie: random question, but what in the hell are choco chips??? Are they cookies? Anyway, I'm ALWAYS doing that! It's like you're bored and your body goes on autopilot. There's a container of mixed nuts in my kitchen and I am always mental slapping myself to keep from eating them randomly!xxxoo<3
Jenny: omg HUGS!!!!!!! I feel so special!!!!!! I know I was so down in the dumps! But we are eerily alike, seriously. You are british me and I am american you lol. Daniel fast eh? Yeah I think I'm doing better now that I'm not jumping around all the time with fasting/binging/purging. My body likes me again, lol. Xxxxxoooooooo<3
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Things That Are Wrong

1) I bad mouthed my friend for nothing. He invited me to the event two hours after I'd checked.
2) I have been the same weight for three days straight.
3)Aunt flo came to town
4) I closely resemble a beached whale.
5) I feel like shit
6) I look like shit
7) I couldn't run today because my balloned stomach felt like it had fucking oompa loompas jumping around in it.
8) My friend's event is on saturday
9) I will look fat as hell on saturday and I will probably chicken out and not go.
10) I have never felt this nauseous, fat, worthless, in pain, or more like crying in my life.
I thank you guys for your sweet comments. I love you guys. Oh look the oopma loompas just kicked, they like you too. Ughhhh, I hope tomorrow will be better. Food is not appealing to me but I'm making myself eat because, well idk why. I guess it's the metabolism thing. But I bought some country time lemonade mix today. And I have money...I could easily do a liquid fast. I just don't have a clue what I want to do right now. I just feel crappy. If I don't liquid fast I'll stay with the 900 cals a day. Whatever. These are the times when I ask God "why?" And mean it. Why God, Why? What did I do wrong? Sorry guys, I promise happiness in the next post (I hope).
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Monday, June 21, 2010


"Nothing's easy, that takes the price down"
--- "Seven" by Chew Lips
I love that song. I've had it on repeat for the past three days.
Soo I got my phone fixed (obvious). It seems that the trackball issues are common, so now anytime it screws up I can go to my local t-mobile I can go and get a new assembly for FREE! Yay!!!
Anyway, the week has been quite dramatic. I went 1.5 days on my fast before I was climbing the walls like spidergirl. It was epically brutal. Sorta like when I started way back when. But now my body is apparently smart. I lost like three pounds on the fast but the next day I gained back like 2.4 of them. So basically I gained back the water at blazing speed. Gee, thanks. After that my week clicked over into party mode for father's day weekend. I've been dreading it because of all the food everywhere and I thought I was going to gain a TON of weight, but surprise, surprise. I maintained a loss of one pound for the week. I know that sounds ike whaaat??? And you're happy?!? But you don't understand: I ate like absolutely HORRIBLE these past few days. Definitely 1500cals. My dad took us to bakeries and restaurants and shit. And I never gained even a pound a day. THAT DOESN'T NORMALLY HAPPEN. If I did that a couple a weeks ago I wouldve gained two pounds a day lickety-split!
So I have a new plan. Because we love plans here don't we? Okay since my metabolism is working when I'm eating, I'll have around 900-1000 cals on weekdays, BUT I must exercise or it won't work (okay it might but I don't want to risk it). And around 1200 on weekends, also with exercise.
I'm also trying not to eat stuff that doesn't have a label. You know with the exception of fruits and veggies. Because things that don't have labels can be hell on wheels for calorie counting. Estimates are ok, but nothing's better that cold hard numbers on the nutritional facts.
So far I've done well today:
Bfast: banana(100), 1 tbsp of peanut butter (100), 2 cups of carrot juice (100)
Lunch: 1 cup of red beans (180), half a tomato (15), and a slice of whole grain bread (110)
So that's 605 so far. My dinner is going to be half of a naan pizza (260). So the day's total will be 865. Sweeeeet. I have yet to workout but I will. I'll probably do 35 mins of running with some strength training (calistenics and resistance bands). Then we'll see what happens. I feel pretty good though. I missed you guys a lot even though I was reading your blogs I still had so many thoughts in my head that I wish I could've blogged about.
My friend is having a yard sale of his uncle's stuff to help pay for some of his uncle's medical bills. I would love to go, there's an event on facebook and everything. Only, I WASN'T INVITED. Gee, one of the first people I was friends with in college and he can't invite me?!? Meh. Whatever. I'm semi-sick of my friends anyway. My other friend is transferring to my school and you know how I found out: because he changed his info page on his facebook to include my school. I encouraged him to apply, told him they'd surely accept him, and he didn't fucking tell me! Some friend. Just wait until he sees me next semester, I'm going to look so good it'll stop his heart. Ahole. The last time he saw me I was 270lbs (or higher!). It was the fall of 2008 and I only found out I weighed 270 in like may of 2009. And I was(and still am) on a weightloss kick so I may have been heavier when he saw me.
Anyway...that's been my life in my absence.
Comments (yay I can finally answer them!!)!
B.: haha I know but me + touch screens= DISASTER!!! I've popped so many LCDs on electronics while NOT touching them. I can't imagine what I'd do to one I was stabbing my fingers at all the time!
Annika Q: thank you for the compliments on my pictures from way back!
Pixie Dust: haha thanks for asking! Please refer to above!! :)
Katie: I think boarding school would be kinda cool, idk I always get visions of gossip girl like situations in places like that, lol. Make sure it's co-ed!!!!! <3
Christi: aww thanks babe!!! It took me like, a little over a year? I was 270 last may. We're a lot alike! What's your GW???
Okay guys I am off to find my scissors (I totally lost them. I am an airhead sometimes) and then work on some more thinspo scrapbooking. Then around Brian Williams time (I mean, 5:30p. I just LOVE brian williams. When they switched to digital TV and I couldn't see him for a few weeks I swear I had withdrawl symptoms), I will cook/eat my dinner. Then after primetime (around 9p) I'll go workout. See ya skinni minis!! It feels awesome to be back!!!!
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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Until I Feel It

Hey guys!
Sooo I've been doing the zero zig zag and everything, but I don't feel up for this. I want to fast. Starting tomorrow, up till sunday (have to have bfast with my dad on father's day) and then jump right back into it on monday. So water fasting, yay! I feel fat right now, I don't know why but I feel like I am HUGE. I feel like I did when I was 270, like I am filling up too much space. It's a very odd emotion. I was hemhawing about the fasting and my metabolism and such, but then something hit me: I have done countless fasts and my metabolism has NEVER croaked like that. So it had to be that I was purging so much. Fast binge purge, over and over again. But now that I have convinced my body that I will not, in fact, rob it of food I think it's okay again. We're cool now. ;)
Also, my phone is being shit right now, the trackball assembly is all fucked up. (I can't scroll "up") so I may not be posting until I can get this fixed (SOON!) Because I feel guilty about not being able to respond to comments. I get emails but I can't scroll down, read, and scroll back up like I normally do so I am sorry! I love you guys loads and loads and I appreciate all of the love and support you give me! <3
I wish this curse that I have with electronics would's pissing me off!!!!!
Also my exercise during the fasting will be jogging. I was reading runner's world magazine and got all hyped up, lol.
Remember to be good while I'm gone! I may be able to comment on you guys' blogs though since the browser I use to view them let's me use the 2, 4, 6, 8, keys to navigate!
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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Born For This

Thank God the metabolism booster days are OVER!!!!! Ok I cut them short but I couldn't take it. I was eating a little toooo normal. My weight was skyrocketing and I was thisclose to going back to mialand. You just don't know what it's like to look in the mirror at the end of the day and you still look bloated while holding your breath so much you think you're gonna die. Anyway, I water fasted yesterday and jogged for 30mins and I went down 3.4lbs :)
I'm hoping I can lose 5-6 lbs every three days. That would be perfect and lovely. I would lose about 12-14 lbs a week which would put me in a great position!!!
Today I ate my alloted food, which came out to about...600cals? It was this salad shaker thing (it had different layers of onion, black beans, corn, jicama, and tomato and came with this honey lime dressing (but totally not a lot and not fattening)) and a bagel (240) and a dessert cup(100). I plan on doing an hour on the elliptical and drinking water! So as Ana B would call it, this is the "zig" day. Tomorrow will be "zag" or about 800cals. So my plan is officially called Zero Zig Zag. And my workouts are Simple Hard Harder. Tomorrow I'm supposed to do an hour on the elliptical AND thirty minutes of jogging AND some strength training. It's not like I don't have the fuel to do it, lol.
Omg I am so bored lately though. I have nothing to do except for my job. I can't hang out with anyone because all of my friends are older and have money. I DON'T (yet). If this job would hurry up and pay me I could hang out with EVERYONE. I have three people who have said that we should hang out and I have totally flaked on them. So so sad. Doesn't matter, they'll forgive me when they see me all skinny and stuff! Well, I'm just telling myself that :D
I'm starting a thinspo scrapbook, which is surprisingly absorbing. One page took me like 15 mins. Haha, I'm so slow! I don't have all that paper lying around so I decided to use an old workbook/study guide I had from one of my old classes that I will NEVER need. The kicker? It's a psychology workbook!!! Hahahahaha. I'm gonna put a pic in here. I'm sure it's up top somewhere! Btw, turn your computer sideways to see it, lol.
I feel pretty good though, I've been watching a ton of movies lately. Mostly ED related. I really liked "a secret between friends". You can see it on youtube.
Okay I am off to workout and watch TV or scrapbook!
Gaunt Future: thanks!!!! Looks like you were right!<3
Z: yeah the metabolism is a crazy thing! I left some suggestions on your blog!<3
Cammie: yeah, the varying the calories seems to work awesome!!! Hopefully my metabolism will keep going strong!<3
Katie: aww babe you don't have to worry about me going anywhere!!! I don't know what happened to Jordan... I checked her blog and it's totally on lock-down, normally that happens because they delete it though? Ian Somerhalder==totally hot in a dangerous way, lol. Xxxooo
Jo: oh, oh, I do take acetyl l-carnitine and lysine and kelp(sometimes)!! Thanks for all the encouragement babe, I appreciate it!!!<3
Ana B: hahaha, yeah I was like: she had a heart attack because she saw a CAR COMING AT HER! Lol. Yeah raw would've helped. If only she'd traded that half cup of rice for a hearty salad for prolly less cals!! :)
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Saturday, June 12, 2010

What Is Love Without Lust?

Hey guys!
Sorry for the non-postiness. I was trying to keep myself on track, ya know? The past three days have been interesting...I have to remind myself to eat, I have to remind myself that I am to eat healthy food, I have to remind myself to exercise because I reeeaaallly don't want to, and I have to remind myself not to freak out. That is a lot of remembering. I have been eating okay, bfast is normally non-existant. It's been pretty much coffee. Then lunch is a vegan salad (chik'n) and dinner, weell it normally winds up weird. It's never real food. It's like a luna bar and coffee, or a slice of cake with coffee (bangs head against wall). And then that's it. I'm trying to workout, been doing some strength training, but seriously slacking on cardio. Then today I just feel like I need to sleep all day. I have been partying since wednesday nite because the Blackhawks won the stanley cup!!! I went out wednesday nite with the rents and drove around downtown, blowing horns and cheering with all of the people that were out. They run up to your car and give you high fives and fist bumps!!! Also people from other cars drive up along side you and do the same thing!! It was funny some guys in this car were totally not blowing and cheering but then they looked over and saw me in my car in all of my blackhawks gear and they started cheering and two of them gave me a fist bump! They were reaally quite cute too!!! Then I went to the parade rally yesterday, walked about four miles and stood up there screaming my lungs out with 2 million other fans. Now I feel like I have a hangover even though I don't drink! Btw the team is going to be on jay leno next week so check em out! Our team has some cute cool young guys, like my beloved mullet man, patrick kane. I hate mullets but he looks cute with his, lol. Also dustin byfuglien (buff-glee-N) is adorable but he's not gonna be on jay leno, sooo, google him or something!
I did gain a bit from food (expected) but I three or four pounds the first day, and now it's leveled at about three and that's been constant for the past two days. I know my metabolism is roaring back because everything is, ahem, moving smoothly. Though I'm eager to switch to my new plan; I have to keep this up til wednesday. I have to make sure my metabolism is convinced that I have been eating food. That way when I STOP it'll keep burning strong. For a while anyway. So that's been my life! Hmmm it doesn't seem so exciting all written out, lol.
Lyndee: *hugs*!!!!!! Hcg diet eh? Okay I'll look for that post, 50 lbs in thirty days would be a DREAM! <3
Lilith: wow thanks so much babe, that's really inspiring to me!! You're not far from my goal weight!!!!<3
Ana Banana: walking thinspo banner? Yes please!!! Lol, yep we're totally gonna do this together!!!<3
Jo: noooo, I don't do diet pills. I can't afford them and also they always have some crazy side effect. My grandma used to take phen-phen, but then she got parkinson's disease. So I'm really wary of pills like that now! <3
B.: haha me too!!!! Just as soon as I get to wednesday down the scale shall go!!!!<3
Jenny: awwww!!!!!*tears* that's so sweet, lol. Carrots are awesome, but so are karats my shining diamond!!!!!! :))) <3
Gracile: aw thanks, yeah being happy is an awesome feeling, I like to keep it around!!!!!!<3
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Operation REBOOT!

Hello guys!
I am in a much much better mood today and I thank you guys so much for all of your advice!!!! Lilith, Ariana, B., Z., and Jo, I love you all!!!!!!
Okay so I took all of you guys' ideas and rolled them into one big plan!! So for the next week I am going to eat 500-800 cals a day. No sugary crap, just like high protein stuff and complex carbs, low fats. I'm pretty much a vegan though, so my protein will come from seitan, soy protiens, and idk quinoa or something. There are these great things called Garden Burgers and in the vegan veggie they only have like 80cals a patty. I think they have like 7 or 8g of protein per patty! So I'm pretty excited. I'll also workout on my elliptical for one hour a day (no excuses) and try to do strength training three times a week. At the end of the seven days I will see what I weigh and evaluate whether I should do this for another week before I move on to phase two. Phase two is a plan I got from Ariana, which is liquid fast in the day and have a very small dinner. Well correction, it's water fast day, liquid day fast with the small dinner, then a 500-700cal reboot day, and repeat until skinny. Oh and keep up with my workouts! This should definetly keep me from binging, and purging is NOT ALLOWED!!! All that does it make me dehydrated which could be a reason why my metabolism conked out and why my body was holding onto water!!! It makes so much sense now!! (Thanks Ariana)What do you guys think????
Today has been good, I had a vegan chik'n salad for lunch (not a lot) and a kashi go lean bar. Around 7pm I'll probably eat again because my dad and I are going to whole foods to watch the stanley cup! When I go home, I shall work out. I don't care how late it is...
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Airplanes and Shooting Stars

You know, I wasn't going to post today...but I can't go without you guys for long!!! Sunday was a wash but not a big one. Just not a fast. Meh. Which brings me to today, which was a fast. Yay. But you know I don't feel as happy about it as I should. I feel like I keep yoyoing between the same pounds over and over again. It must change. I know, I know, well stop screwing things up Scarlet!! But idk it's like sometimes I can't stop it. I eat too much. Not even close to binging I guess. But a bowl of pasta is still pretty fucked up in my book. I purge and workout and yay I don't gain. This is not an existence AT ALL. This should not be happening. Look at all those people who eat so damn much and lose weight. What the hell is wrong with me??? Why is my metabolism so dead? I just want to be thin. That's all I ever wanted. And yet it's so far away. I fail all of my deadlines no matter what I do. And time keeps passing me by. I want to do better, but how can I do better when I don't know what I'm doing wrong?? This is turning into a rant. I have to go to bed so I can go to work in the morning. I wish I had three wishes, I would wish for a million more and then fix everything that's wrong with me.
Comments...meh, not tonight. It's 1:30am. Katie, Violet, I love you.
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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Race To The Finish

Hey guys!!!!!
So thursday's water fast went ok kinda. I mean I didn't make it but it didn't go horribly. I made it to like 6pm and ate a bag of chips but I purged it. Then later I had grape juice. But yesterday I rocked it!!!! I water fasted all day and I plan on doing it again today.
I weighed in today at 207.6 lbs so I am on my way back down to lower weights!!! Yaaaaaaay!
I don't think much will get in the way today, my dad and I will be stuck in the house until about 5:30pm and then we go with my mom to a gospel concert festival. I mean I'm sure dinner might be lurking in the shadows somewhere, but they won't care if I don't eat.
Hopefully I can get even skinnier!!!
I've been working on the elliptical for an hour everyday for the past three days! I'm going for a record, lol.
I must be thin by any means! If I could just break through this 200 barrier I can keep going and never stop! I know I can do it between now and next monday (not this monday, NEXT monday)!
Jo: oh I totally weigh in the morning because I think I would go CRAZY if I had to weigh at night!
Ariana: oh really??? Thanks for the tip, my broken laptop was a Dell. Technically speaking it was good, just a little fragile! Lol
Violet: I think you're right! It's weird how we burn more cals during that time! Kinda like new mothers and breastfeeding! <3
B.: hey thanks for the encouragement!! It really perked me up and you were right, the weight went away!! :)
Charlie: aww thanks babe! Oh my mom has a mac laptop, but I can't afford one! Lol :P
Elle: that's exactly how I look too!! It feels like I'm being prepped to be in the Macy's thanksgiving day parade. My parents are okay if I don't eat as long as nothing happens to me. So they were okay with me not eating until I got sick three weeks ago and then they were all "you have to eat to fight the infection" but now that everything is back to normal I can go back to not eating! <3
Tiffany: oh that's happened to me before!! It's like the worst nightmare, makes you doubt all those fitness people who say it takes 3500cals to gain a pound!! I will definitely keep up with the plan!!!!! :)
V.: yeah I didn't understand it, but as long as I have water I have the solution!!! Lol
Katie: oh totally!!! I can't do ACV straight, you should see my face!! You would not stop laughing!! Lol. We are totally doing this fast! Omg you're taking french!?! I took two years of french! (Didn't retain much, hahaha). Mon cher ami et soeur de jeûne je t'aime!!!!!<3 <3
Red: heeeeeyyyy you're back!!!!! Thank you for the award!!!! I already did the seven secrets on my "I'd like to thank the academy..." Post, but I appreciate it all the same!!!!!! Xoxoxo! <3
Oooh they're showing "Rent" on TV. I've always wanted to see this movie!!!!! See you guys later!
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Thursday, June 3, 2010


So I did my liquid fast on tuesday. To my surprise I gained 1.4 lbs. I was like WTF?!? So I did an experiment. I kept my liquids fairly low and ate some food. Just 450 cals plus veggies. I gained 0.4 lbs. Hmmm, much less weight gained when I eat food but don't drink much??? I think PMS is kicking in. I'm horrible at predicting these times, even though they happen like clockwork. I'm always surprised! So I figure if this is all water weight then I can just keep working to lose the weight and wind up crazy skinny by the time everything goes back to normal. So today I'm doing a water fast with Katie (skinnybusiness) and I've already dodged my first bullet of the day. Upon waking me up, my mom immediately wanted me to drink carrot juice and a green smoothie. Both of which met their end down the kitchen sink when she wasn't looking. Oh well. I'm going to spike my water with apple cider vinegar because it suppresses appetite and boosts metabolism AND reduces water retention. Very interesting stuff.
Also I'm going to do an hour on my elliptical everyday. I mean the aerobic videos were okay, but I get bored quickly!!! But nothing flies by like an elliptical workout because all I do is pay attention to my music and sing along like a nerd! It's actually fun and by the time I look at the display thirty minutes have disappeared.
I don't know what the plan is for tomorrow, but I'm not going to stop weighing myself. One because I'm attached to my scale, and two because if I can get it to go down through this I can get it crazy low. IhavetoIhavetoIhaveto. I wish life would stop throwing me curveballs though. This is highly irritating. It's pure sabotage!!!!! But screw you hormones. Screw you.
I might keep water fasting...I don't have anything to do tomorrow!
Lisa: Thanks babe!!!!!!!<3
Jenny (FFF): hey thanks!!! Oh yeah my mom isn't pleasant when she upset either, lol. Thank God I do all the cooking in the house. Maybe you can convince her of the benefits of detoxing!! Oh okay, I'm gonna look into Toshiba!
Lilith: LOL, my Dell was the one that broke!!!! I have bad luck with electronics though! Years ago our desktop died after I used it, our second desktop got a virus, I've been through four MP3 players, and two phones!!
Katie: lol it does sound like you and R!!!! Five pounds?!? I think I would faint if my weight went up five pounds over the course of the day!!!!!!<3
V.: oh thanks for the tip!!! Yeah, it's great to have old friends back!!!!
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

OMG June 1!

Hello, hello!
I hope you guys had a good memorial day weekend!!! Mine went pretty well. I mean I ate too much, purged a lot, took laxi tea, and exercised myself a ton. So, total damage is... 0.8 lbs. Booyah! Less than a pound up over the course of three days!!! So 208 for june 1.
So today I am liquid fasting. Gotta get back into the swing of things!!! I have to admit though, I feel good coming off that weekend. It's strange I am currently nonplussed by food at the moment. In fact I just made my parents lunch. Veggie burgers and french fries! Nothing crossed my lips, I didn't even lick my fingers. I drank a bottle of water so I'm happy. I'm also going to do my workout routine later on too!!! :)
On the real life front, well, quite a lot has happened! Firstly, my laptop is broken. The LCD popped (you know where you get the black because the liquid escaped behind the screen) so I have it as a desktop, connected to a monitor. But I just got my internship grant, which gives me a cool $1000. Which also means a new laptop!! I'm thinking about an HP, but I'll take suggestions!
Also on friday I had an actual conversation with my brother. I mean a real one where there were no awkward pauses. It was almost like we were never estranged!!! Yay! I love my brother but I can't help waiting for the other shoe to drop...we shall see.
Yesterday I got back in contact with my childhood best friend, CG. The last time we talked well, I was a bit pissed at him for basically ditching me for that anorexic bitch Amber. She was skiiiiinnnnyyy, anemic, and hardly ate anything. She wasn't all that pretty but pretty enough to steal my bff. It's weird too because that was four years ago and I didn't understand it. We were all friends and CG and I used to joke that I was Lizzie, he was Gordo, and Amber was Miranda. You know like lizzie McGuire, lol. But miranda hooking up with gordo went completely off script in my book!! I used to have the biggest crush on CG. The first was back in second grade. I remember once the phone rang, my brother answered it and told me it was my other bff raven. I immediately got on the phone and spilled my guts that I liked CG. like liked. I heard a giggle on the other end that sounded like mickey mouse. I was all "CG is that you?" Even though I already knew the answer. "Yeah" *giggles* I got off the phone and started hitting my brother. It's my most mortifying and vivid memory. Then I crushed on CG again four years ago. There isn't going to be any crushes now because he's not that cute anymore lol.
That's pretty much my life right now, pretty semi-dramatic huh? Lol.
Ariana: thank you!!!!!<3
V.: thanks and I'll be sure to! Lol <3
Skinny mini: it really does!!! It's an amazing feeling that can happen again and again!!! Yay!<3
B.: aw thanks babe! You will totally break 160 soon!!!<3
Jenny: LMAO!!!! Yeah it's an awesome song! Speaking of eminem, have you heard his new song "not afraid"??? That's an ah-mazing song!!!<3
Ana Banana: oooh I don't think the earth could take it!!!! All the guys will fall at our feet and pots will whistle as we go by! And everyday will be instant summer!!! Lol <3
Jo: yeah purging doesn't help with calorie expulsion, but it does get rid of food weight ridiculously well! I mean I only use it when I go overboard, most of the time I really don't eat that much!!! I will definitely keep up the workouts!!!<3
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