Saturday, October 31, 2009

Day one of the checkerboard fast!!!

Hey y'all,
So on the advice of SophiaRuins I am altering my fast. It will be a checkerboard of juice fast one day and then water fast the next. This is good because I will lose even more weight and that is always good. So today I woke up 228.5 so I went down a half a pound from yesterday, so maybe I can be 226 tomorrow (fingers crossed). I haven't had any juice today yet, I will probably wait until my fam and I go grocery shopping. I am going to get the Odwalla Protein Monster drink. 33g of protein!!!! That'll keep my muscle but burn mi fat. Good stuff. So I think I'll go drink some water to get rid of the rest of this water weight and keep getting skinnier! I have another motivation too: my most evil cousin is coming up from texas sometime in november, and I have no idea if I will have to see her, and even if I don't I will deff have to see her for christmas holiday season. In a word, she's a bitch and hates me because I'm prettier and smarter than her even though I'm much fatter. So I am also out to take wind out of her "well at least I'm skinnier than her" sails. So tag that on to the reasons to be skinny wagon. Okay, bye!!!!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I used to be love drunk, but now i'm hungover....

Okay, Okay,
My body hates me. irrevocably, absolutely, HATES me. I haven't been eating much and flo goes away officially tomorrow, but i am still 229. 229, WHY!!!!!! I need this to go away, i feel like i'm battling the same weight over and over again. this is deja vu too because i believe i said the same thing when i was bouncing around like a fucking yo-yo in the 230s. i want to go down to a different  set of 200s without bouncing around. it's irritating and agitating and just INFURIATING!!!! My body clings to water weight like it's going to die or something, so i am starting something new. my birthday is next fucking week and i need to be thin. two weeks after that my cousin is coming to down from LA. (she's even been on a few TV shows and commercials!!!) she hasn't seen me in forever and i don't want to dissapoint. at this same meeting i am going to see my aunt and other cousin, and i haven't seen them in forever even though we don't live far.
So the new, new plan (i think i've said this a million times! LOL):
Juice fast starting tomorrow all the way up to my birthday (saturday) then take a break for my b-day where i will have limited cake (maybe just a brownie or just  a cupcake) and go eat a meal. then right back to juice fasting up to when i see my cousin. so about three weeks of juice fast. let's say i lose a pound a day, that'll be 21pounds. count about six pounds in gain ( not likely but idk, just playing it safe), so that'll be at least 15 pound guaranteed. that will take me down to 214 going from this mornings weight (hopefully i can keep the whole 21 and go to 208). then i'll decide whether or not to continue until christmas. maybe i can get down to 180 by christmas!!!! too optimistic??? idk, tell me what you guys think!!!
Scarlet <3
also any ideas you guys have on getting rid of the water weight (i'm pondering the diuretic), i appreciate and would love to hear! thnks for reading!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Happier Times

Hey Y'all!
So I am much, much happier today. I weighed in at 226.5 so apparently i am losing the water weight. i can't wait to see what i weigh saturday when all the weight should be gone. is 222 too much to ask for?? Tomorrow is my mom's b-day, but we're going to start the celebration tonite with a bit of cake at midnight. uggggghhhhhh!!!!! But it shouldn't affect me that much. if i stop eating at seven i never gain a pound, in fact most of the time i lose weight so i am going to do my best to stick to it.
Oh SophiaRuins! thanks for the tips and i will be sure to try to apply that as much as possible. the stuff about the palm of my hand was just to illustrate to size of the custard, but eating that little of everything (or half as you say) would make my weight go down south much faster.
Okay so i am studying today and working hard. downloading a powerpoint trial rite now so i will be prepared for a presentation i have to do for polisci on tuesday. Gaaah!
Scarlet <3
Edit: For those of you who read this, like s_i_c_b_p (abbreviated!), i wanted to let you know there was a typo. I was 226.5 this morning, not 236.5. Honestly i think i would hurl myself out the nearest window if my weight ever went that high again, but that is beside the point. so i just wanted to point that out and thanks for all the love!
Scarlet <3

Monday, October 26, 2009

Panic! At the disco

Hey y'all,
So I am still here waiting for flo to go away so I can get back to my life. Now I get y sorry_i_can't_be_perfect said not to weigh all week, mostly because it's ghastly terrifying. I'm still restricting. My fam and I went to a thai place yesterday and I planned to just eat half of a veggie and protien base dish with no noodles, but the fact is that I didn't want to eat the other half period, but I hate to waste food. So I decided to share with my mom because she couldn't order an entree because she wanted a heftily priced dessert. So I said I would share my dish with her bit she wanted noodles. Apparently beggars can be choosers. So I got the noodles with tofu and I gave her half the dish and gave my dad some. I wound up also eating one crab ragoon and a tiny piece of thai custard. I'm talking a piece no bigger than the palm of my hand with no much height. So great for that. Also, I am going to take a laxi tea and I just popped I diuretic. I am so weak to the scale, I can't take having it be so cruel to me.
So today's plan is to study for my poliSci midterm (for thursday) and lots of homework today. Also, I got my midterms for orgo and chem engineering and I got A's for both. WOOT!
Okay l8r guys,
Scarlet <3

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Zing, zang,zoom!

Hey y'all,
You know how batman had all those cool sound effects like zing,zang, zoom? Well right now my sound effect is shit, fuck, damn. I've been pretty good as of late, I mean yesterday I had two wraps, some hummus, grapes, and veggies that were not fancily cooked (by that I mean packed with cals). I've been seeing a rise on the scales lately; 224, 225, and today? A grotesque 226.5. And I just found out why: I just got the worst gift ever; aunt flo came to town. Damn I wish I could kill her for fucking up my weight like that. At least it isn't horrible, horrible, it's not like I'm in the 230s again. Well I just wanted to post and let you guys know how I'm doing.
Scarlet <3

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Don't Eat The Apple, Snow White!

Hey Y'all,
so after the pad thai debacle i am at 224. not bad at all! also it could've been worse. my mom works overnight (4p-12a) and so sometimes my dad and i drive her. we always drive her tues and thurs because i have classes, but sometimes it's a nice day and we can't take being in the house and drive her. yesterday was one of those days. when we picked her up she was (of course) hungry. at like midnight. i nearly went into conniptions.  we went to a dominicks and bought: Chocolate covered gourmet caramel apples with nuts. oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, so many calories. I couldn't not get one, but i made myself promise that no "food" would cross my lips until the morning. so i had a ginger beer and watched my mom scarf down the apple with all the seductive chocolate smells making me go dizzy with want. but i resisted. i just read the back of the package: 760cals for the apple and i got damn sober. so this morning i had a pomegranate for bfast and couldn't resist the apple anymore and ate half of it by 1:30pm. not bad. i'm going to have the other half at five when mi dad picks me up, i left it in the car. on purpose though. so i am losing weight and doing well.
in other news, i just got an A for midterms out of my orgo prof. YAY!!!!!!! now if all my profs do that i will be in business!
i'm also working on a paper in mi psych class: pick a public or historical figure you think had a mental disorder and prove it in 4-5  pages double spaced.
I picked kurt cobain and nabbed him with bipolar. he had tons of times he was majorly depressed (he commited suicide) and he had times when he'd go manic and decide he needed change and what he was doing wasn't getting it (before said suicide he wanted to break up with Nirvana and do a record with the lead of R.E.M.). so yeah, just gotta go by DSM-IV spects and i should do well.
okay girls, go get thin!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Can You Pinch An Inch?

Hey guys!
Yes i kno i blinked out, but i was having some major issues and i hate telling you guys when i screw up because it makes me feel like more of a failure. I already badger myself everytime i see a nice sized average girl (not the skinny i want, but smaller than me at the moment) and i think, you could've been that, normal, you didn't have to let yourself get like this. and then when i gain or screw up i'm just like, look how weak you are you cow. harsh, i kno, but it's the only way i can deal with myself. my weight was at 226.5 yesterday, and then i went out to eat and came home i weighed 230. i panicked, because i kno my metabolism at optimal speed burns off 2.5 lbs. period. so i took a cocktail of pills and let it all go. i recently have started using some of my stash of diuretics as i have used up all of those laxies (tsk,tsk, how did 48 go so fast??). my dad takes Rx diuretics and has me cut them in half for him for his doses, so i swipe some. it's not like he keeps track because he only uses them when he's got fluid build-up. so this time around i swiped 12pills. and as of today i have taken 2. my weight this morning was 223, only one pound off from being able to say i lost 20 pounds since i bought my scale. i can't afford any screwups rite now. i need to be 220 by monday. i made a new goal as it seems i don't have a snowball's chance in hell of hitting <200 by nov. 7 (my b-day!) so my new goal is 212. thirty pounds in three months would be marvelous. i am not far off, just eleven pounds. if i watch it i should be able to do it.
today was a bit of a disaster, as i ate shrimp pad thai that looked like it could've fed 3 starving children no prob. and i ate all of it. i have never considered purging more in my life, but i just won't do it. and interesting thing, thai restaurants seem to be the bulimic wonderland. all of the bathrooms are SINGLES, meaning no one strolls in on the purge (if i were actually doing it...) and if you carry visine or something, no telltale eye redness!!! but i can't and won't purge. i'll berate myself until i stop eating so much. i was reading a book today that said not to have a ton of cals in one swoop, because the body will store them as fat. so new plan is to eat very little at multiple times in the day. that way i'll be able to go to sleep the same weight i woke up at and lose weight (and no eating after 7!!!! i've had a tuff time sticking to that but definetly nothing after 8 on more than most days). let's see how it works shall we?
The push for 212 and under is on: How low can i go?
Scarlet <3

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Where'd you guys go/ new low weight!

Hey y'all,
I've been missing you guys lately. You don't comment or anything; kind of makes me feel like I'm writing to myself.
Anywho, I am now at a new low weight!!! 224! Eleven pounds under my old low weight (when I started it was 235) and eighteen pounds under my starting weight, and 46pounds under mi high weight!!!! Yippee!!! I have to tell you guys though, I haven't been fasting every other day like I planned, but I have been eating a lot less and drinking caffeine. Seriously, that stuff is a godsend and helped me to not only survive the weekend but lose two and a half pounds! If I get some coffee today and watch myself, I may very well hit 220 by 2moro. That would be an eleven and a half pound loss in a week. Yowza.
So I am off to be skinny, got a bday party to go to of someone idk, but there is no free food and thank god mi dad is a cheapskate and will only buy a little something so we won't look like losers. Not that we're poor or anything, he's just supertight with the budget.
Hopefully you girls will be back commenting and blogging. The blogosphere isn't the same without you.
Scarlet <3

Friday, October 16, 2009

OMG, Not A Fattie!

Hey Y'all!
So I am currently resting at...226.5!! Wow! I am now almost back to my low weight and all I had to do was push back, stop eating after seven, abd drink coffee. Yes, I have started to drink coffee about twice a week as I lose three pounds everytime! It's only downhill from here! To think I could've been so light if I had done this last week. Let's see, assuming same loss, by now I could have been like 231.5. But I guess I can't cry over spilled milk. I am writing you guys on my Blackberry! Oooh it's so awsm!! Ok, let's see how low I can go!
Think thin! Be thin!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


BTW, I have been having some trouble going to sleep lately? What gives??

Three pounds!!!!

Hey Guys!!!!!
So my weight had been high yesterday, a sickening 233.5! So I cut back on food and made some rules. no food after 7pm period. no exceptions. I eat bfast, lunch, and dinner at set times in the day. 9-10 am, 2-3pm, and 6-7pm. If i must i can shift bfast and lunch hours around but not too much. if i am out and have to eat i  ride out the hour. like if the food comes at 7:30pm  can eat until 8pm. but only if i have to.
here is the cal intake of yesterday:
1 apple: 130cals
1 boiled egg: 70cals
1 lipton green tea: 200 cals
coffee: 200 cals
4 lemon wafers: 180cals
1 apple: 130cals
Total: 910cals
and this morning i was 230.5!!!!!!!! Woot! that makes it 3 pounds in 1 day! that's a record for me!
SO i am fasting today! Juice fasting. i have had carrot and carrot beet juice and i will have dinner at 6pm. so i am off to study for my orgo exam that i have tomorrow!!! Wish me luck!
Scarlet <3
Stay Skinny, Be Free!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Old Ideas Are New Again

Hey Y'all,
so i was reading past entries (i'm talking WAY back) and i ran across my carefree ana plan. it was a good plan, it just needed retooling. like limits on what i can eat on food days. so the revised plan is:
fast every other day. period, no fiddling with times (i was known for 6p-6p it was easy and confusing). set days for fasting are: monday, wednesday, friday. i can do those days no sweat, early classes and at home all day. doable if i fill in excess time with web, studying and reading. i should add cleaning to that list but i am too messy, i'll be working ALL DAY! LOL.
When i am eating I will have:
Bfast: fruit and juice or something cal equivalent.
Lunch: This is skippable, but light veggies with fruit
Din-Din: Veggie soup, mostly broth not a whole lot of stock.
no Bfast,no Lunch. only some juice to get metabolism moving. then eat 1/4 of restuarant food, no appetizers. and order lightest thing on menu, ie veggies or soup soup is easy to make look like you ate more than you did.
okay y'all tell me what you think and what further revisions should be made.
Scarlet <3

Monday, October 12, 2009


Hey Y'all!!!
So I am getting a blackberry on friday with unlimited web, which means more posts!!! I am so happy about this!!! Now I can do whatever i want!!!!!!
I didn't last two weeks without the scale. I weighed today and i have not lost anything. My parents still think i have resisted, but i can't live without the scale. knowing i didn't have a judge in the morning left too much room for error. so i am back to starving!!!
Oh and I have only had two apples and some almond breeze and some carrot juice. So i won't eat until around 7pm. Okay, I am off to do studying!!
Oh thanks for the encouragement sorry_i_can't_be_perfect and don't forget to blog!
And hello New Followers!!!
Scarlet <3

Friday, October 9, 2009

She's So Money!

Hey Y'all!
So I did come into $230 today and I am SUPER HAPPY!!!! I immediately went to Whole Foods and bought fifty bucks worth of food. nothing super anything though. Tortillas (110cals each, fat-free), Honeycrisp Apples (130cals each, though negative i think), Veggies (25cals a serving, again neg. cals i think), Almond Breeze milk (unsweetened 40cals for 8oz, sweetened 90cals for 8oz. I got one of each unintentionally), A homemade trail mix (cranberries, pineapples, ginger granola, no idea on cals), rasberry tea (40cals per 8oz),and CHOCOLATE SMOOTH MOVE!!! The Chocolate smooth move is not like "Oh mi god this tastes so good i want to drink it all the time!" but it's not "Ugh, this tastes like the shit that will be coming out mi ass!" (excuse mi profanity! LOL). It was tolerable and kind of reminiscent of chocolate, like you kind of think you're tasting it, but not. so final verdict is still out, we have to see if it beats my trusted laxie pills.
Today did not go as well as i'd hoped. I did not get cucumber salad but wonton soup and one crab ragoon. then later i had a LITTLE bit of fish and some steamed veggies. and then 2 luna bars. and then some granola and a pint of sorbet (tangerine). overall not that bead but i've got to go now. BYE!!!
Scarlet <3

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Cute Is What We Aim For!

Hey Y'all!
Yes I know the title is the name of a band but i have never actually heard their songs, but i LOVE their name. LOL. So, I am doing well today, i didn't eat until about 5:30/6pm and i ate some garlic sesame sticks, and this sugar-free lemon bar. it was not like butter-free or anything but i wanted a controlled treat, so there will be no BINGING!!!! I am coming into about $200 tomorrow (fingers crossed!) so I will not be really being tracked on how much cash i have and walgreens has a sale on all hershey's bars only 29cents each, so we don't want ANY of that!! So, I headed it off at the pass so to speak. I am going to be good tomorrow since the fam and i are going right back to the thai restuarant that made me gain 3.5lbs. but this time, i will only order the cucumber salad and maybe have a crab ragoon. maybe. it depends on how i feel, but at least i have the entree figured out it is easier. Also, we are buying our own meals and there is no way in hell i am going to buy crab ragoon on my cash!
 I went buy my orgo profs office and he looked at mi exam and gave me three more points! Which brings my score back up to 91!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOT! Also in other orgo news, i have had more contact with my crush who i will call The Irish Boy, or IB. He has the most Irish name i have ever heard! He's blond and oh so cute!!! He was talking to me today and smiling and all the good stuff i love to enjoy!

BarelyAliveAna, thanks for following! It's nice to have you here!
MinaBelle! You can have good grades! Instead of taking so much time focusing on NOT EATING just waste your time with studying! By the time i get halfway through one of my classes homework, two hours can easily go by. Just toss your excess time into school work and you'll get great grades! Also ppl won't pay attention to you as much if you're getting good grades. any weird behavior your parents will let pass because whatever u'r doing u'r getting good grades and giving them bragging rights! hope this helps!

I can't wait until the monday after next when i get to weigh in and i can't wait to buy the smooth move tea. hoping to be 220 or less by the time i weigh in! Ok guys I'll talk to you later! Don't forget to comment, don't forget to blog!
Scarlet <3

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Finally fixed that damn time stamp!
Scarlet <3

I Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier...

Hey Y'all!
I just realized something, no offense to any southerners out there but i just realized that the way i head my posts sounds just like i come from texas or something. LOL. I am from a big city in the midwest. I'd tell you more, but my life is highly recognizable so i can't. Anyway, GRADES!!!! I got my orgo test back and i got an 88! But I am going to hound my prof tomorrow and try to get it past 90(i am obsessed with my grades). and my psych exam was an 85. I am not happy with the 85 but see no way to change it. i kind of suck at psychology. I almost got a B last semester in it. But i just have to study more, the exam popped up at a BAD time. too many other wayyy more important classes got in the way!
On to my weight! well...the truth is i have no idea. i haven't weighed since monday. I can't take the ups and downs. I'm trying to abstain for 2 weeks. However, i have been eating very, very light! And drinking TONS of water. Today so far i've had some grapes and a Luna bar(those things are AMAZING, only 180cals!) I drank water with that so now i feel full. I am starting something a tad crazy now. I am going to switch to taking laxitives all the time. not the pills because i know the danger of those (though i have already used 3/4 of my box. oops). so i am going to try the Smooth Move tea. i have read on other blogs that it tastes amazing and works really well. i am going to look for more reviews on it, but if you guys have tried it can you let me know?
Also...I still have a major crush on the guy that sits next to me in orgo, BUT. idk if he only talks to me in class (a pet peeve of mine) or if he just idk, doesn't notice me outside of class. I saw him today on my way to another class. and he smiled in my direction. so i waved like a dork but he didn't wave back! am i overreacting!!!! I mean is a smile just another way of saying hello?? SHOULD I CHILL AND RELAX?!? I am way too insecure and have had guys hurt me many, many times so i am a little jumpy. help me out!
BTW, I feel lonely without you guys' comments, so hit me up!

Monday, October 5, 2009

I Am Invincible As Long As I'm Alive

Hey Y'all,
I didn't want to write this post. I wanted to wait a LONG time before i wrote you guys again. But I'm here so i might as well stop whining my ass off and say what happened this weekend: On Saturday morning i was 226. I was happy. I intended to eat healthy. My parents and I went to a thai restaurant where i ordered SAUTEED spicy sole fish with cucumber salad. and i treated myself to two crab ragoons, as I felt my order was so healthy. when my meal came however, the fish was fucking FRIED!!! I couldn't believe it. I felt like the fattest cow in the room. my parents meal were not fried. I ate it. felt like shit. said it wouldn't be the end of the world. went on to eat two carol's cookies; chocolate chip and PB chocolate combo. those cookies are 6.5oz EACH. go to to see what a whale i am. I didn't think the worst. that was all i ate. I gained 3.5 pounds. I took laxitives the next morning. Then my mom and i made wonton soup and cucumber salad. not bad. i mean literally that was just about all i had. and i woke up even after the laxies did their thing i was still 231.5. so overall loss this week? ZERO. Score one more point for me. Not. I honestly don't know how it happened. I've done wayy worse and not gained that much weight. I'm not binging, but i gained it all back. But as the title says, I Am Invincible As Long As I'm Alive. I can't quit from a setback. i have to keep going. You only fail when you stop trying. I can get back down and not fuck it up again. I must try. wish me luck guys!
Scarlet <3
BTW: I got a 100% on mi Chemical engineering exam. I'll let you guys know what i get on mi orgo and psych exams when i can!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Back From Outer Space (lol)

Hey ladies!
I know i was supposed to blog yesterday but i wanted to wait until i got my orgo test back, but i won't get that till tuesday so here i am! I have good news to report. I am now 228!!!! yay!!!! I have been eating little but enough to keep the metabolism firing high. I'm trying not to kill it(again). Yesterday I ate:
Celery w/ hummus
Lettuce, red pepper, and bamboo shoots( cooked in LIGHT sesame oil, garlic, salt and pepper)
the day before that:
Kashi GoLean Malt Ball Bar
Veggies again(stir fry mix this time, cooked same way)
Add in mi juices and you have what i have been eating. I haven't been starving though, i just don't have the time to eat anymore. take this morning. at 11am i had celery and hummus for Bfast with mi juices. it is now 5pm and i haven't had anything else. not on pupose, just because of time!!! So mi diet is a success!
Now on to the weekend! Time to maintain and maybe even lose a little.
Lexy, I'm glad you decided to do the Vulture plan, it really does work! :))))
Okay, Later guys!
Scarlet <3
BTW, if any of you need an email buddy:!