You know, I wasn't going to post today...but I can't go without you guys for long!!! Sunday was a wash but not a big one. Just not a fast. Meh. Which brings me to today, which was a fast. Yay. But you know I don't feel as happy about it as I should. I feel like I keep yoyoing between the same pounds over and over again. It must change. I know, I know, well stop screwing things up Scarlet!! But idk it's like sometimes I can't stop it. I eat too much. Not even close to binging I guess. But a bowl of pasta is still pretty fucked up in my book. I purge and workout and yay I don't gain. This is not an existence AT ALL. This should not be happening. Look at all those people who eat so damn much and lose weight. What the hell is wrong with me??? Why is my metabolism so dead? I just want to be thin. That's all I ever wanted. And yet it's so far away. I fail all of my deadlines no matter what I do. And time keeps passing me by. I want to do better, but how can I do better when I don't know what I'm doing wrong?? This is turning into a rant. I have to go to bed so I can go to work in the morning. I wish I had three wishes, I would wish for a million more and then fix everything that's wrong with me.
Comments...meh, not tonight. It's 1:30am. Katie, Violet, I love you.
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