I think I finally understand why I have been overweight most of my life. I get bored. The newness rubs off and the motivation lags. I want microwave type results but I'm always in the slow cooker. I did do my fast, but I was thinking to myself the whole time "I do not want this to happen five times out of the week." I know I would be skinny and all, but I was born with a rebellious streak. I get good grades because people at my age shouldn't be able to handle the level of work that I do. I go against convention A LOT. In most everything I do. Not intentionally, it just happens. Most of the time it works out for me. But this is besides the point. For most of my life I have allowed myself to get bored with the new shiny "diet" and fall into old habits. Because I refuse to accept the fact that I'm bored. So I accept it, I'm bored with Hopscotch after a week. So pitiful I know but I have a new idea for 2010: there are no plans. I will fly by the seat of my ass and hope that these smarts of mine aid me beyond school. I will still starve per se, but I'll do it without my knowledge if that makes any sense. Nothing is off limits food wise, so it's not the question of can I have this, it's do I even want this shit? For example, say I'm in a restaurant and I see something totally fattening and delicious sounding. I could eat it, but why? What does it do for me? It's a balance of pros and cons. Cons: it's fattening, it will make me feel guilty, I am not guaranteed to be able to work it off in exercise, it will most likely lead to other bad food choices which in turn will make me fat. Hmmm...ok. Pros: it tastes good and will make me happy (maybe, remember the guilt complex) for the time that I am eating it. So add it up: five cons to two pros. I don't eat it. Now say I want a salad such as my beloved pecan and feta. Cons: feta is cheese and therefore fattening, pecans are fattening, the dressing may be fattening. Pros: the pecans and the feta together are about the size of the palm of my hands, I won't feel guilty eating it, only a two tbsp container of dressing is included, it has lots of greens to give me nutrients. Add it up: three cons to four pros. I eat. With this check and balance system I can fight things. If at the end of the pro con war I STILL want it, maybe I can have a little, but I doubt after thinking about how guilty I'll feel after eating it, I'll feel guilty even considering it. So I'll eat everyday in small meals. I'll still count calories to keep myself in check and I'll buy a new freaking scale. I have a deadline. I need to have made amazing progress by august. I need to be like 140 or 130. I had 112 pounds to lose since buying my scale and I want most of them gone by the time august comes. I have that goal for a few reasons: I want to be thin (duh!), that's the one year anniversary of me buying my scale (even if it's complete shit now, it wasn't then), and that guy I liked from my orgo class? He's going to be in Ireland for the spring semester, but he'll be back and most likely in one of my classes in the fall and I wanna be smokin' hot. I want a fucking double take. Also, I turn eighteen in the fall which will officially take me off the "jail bait" list (can you say open season??) AND all the new freshmen come in the fall. You know why they call them freshmen? Because they are FRESH MEN. New guys. New hot guys MY AGE! Eeeeeeek!!! And for a girl who's never had a date, that is big stuff to be gorgeous and thin and around a bunch of guys who never saw me fat. Heaven.
So this is MISSION 2010. I am Jamie Bond and you guys are my sector MI6. Do you accept the challenge?
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
PS: Happy New Year!!!!!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Unwanted Visitors
So the monthly unwanted visitor came in town today so I have stopped weighing myself. Hopefull I can drop ten pounds and be pleasantly surprised when I weigh again. Maybe I'll have my new scale.
Anyway, I am fasting today (liquids only, low cal as possible). It's harder, idk why, I think I need to start to prepare in the morning because I wake up and the first thought is that it's just another day, and then I rememeber it's a fasting day. I think the first days are the hardest to make it through, especially when I still have to cook for other people. Go figure, no one seems to be able to cook in this house.
So I am doing well, no cheating! Only one snag in my plan though, my friend's bday is on friday so after this fast is over I'm going to have to eat two days instead of just one. Oh well, I'm pretty good at restriction.
Now to answer a question I got about the Hopscotch plan:
How the hopscotch works is that you follow a continual pattern of liquid fasting two days and then restricting one day, over and over again. I figured that long-term fasts are set ups for binging, so short fasts with a small break inbetween should work out well. You count cals always and try to stay pretty low during the fasting, around maybe 800 cals tops. You should lose about two pounds a day when fasting, and you fast 5 days a week, so ten pounds a week. Assuming maybe 3-4 pound rebounds from the food days (this is a high estimate. You may maintain or even lose during the food days. I don't know how other's metabolisms work so I picked a high number), so you will lose AT LEAST six pounds a week and probably a max of twelve or something like that. I hope this helped to clairify everything.
Okay, off to keep fasting!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Anyway, I am fasting today (liquids only, low cal as possible). It's harder, idk why, I think I need to start to prepare in the morning because I wake up and the first thought is that it's just another day, and then I rememeber it's a fasting day. I think the first days are the hardest to make it through, especially when I still have to cook for other people. Go figure, no one seems to be able to cook in this house.
So I am doing well, no cheating! Only one snag in my plan though, my friend's bday is on friday so after this fast is over I'm going to have to eat two days instead of just one. Oh well, I'm pretty good at restriction.
Now to answer a question I got about the Hopscotch plan:
How the hopscotch works is that you follow a continual pattern of liquid fasting two days and then restricting one day, over and over again. I figured that long-term fasts are set ups for binging, so short fasts with a small break inbetween should work out well. You count cals always and try to stay pretty low during the fasting, around maybe 800 cals tops. You should lose about two pounds a day when fasting, and you fast 5 days a week, so ten pounds a week. Assuming maybe 3-4 pound rebounds from the food days (this is a high estimate. You may maintain or even lose during the food days. I don't know how other's metabolisms work so I picked a high number), so you will lose AT LEAST six pounds a week and probably a max of twelve or something like that. I hope this helped to clairify everything.
Okay, off to keep fasting!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Hopscotch
Hey guys! I know I said I would update in the morning and now it is like 2am on the next day!!!! Gaaah, so very bad for my blogging! Anyway, I was (surprisingly) 224.5 today, but I changed my mind about my scale, I'm still getting a new one. This one acts like it's PMSing 24/7. So I restricted today kind of. I didn't refuse any food but there is nothing in my house all that fat inducing. I had some eggs this afternoon (I don't wake up early during vacay- it's just a fact) and then I had dinner at like seven or eight pm. That was dim sum buns with curried seafood. It was delish and I didn't feel guilty afterwards because I knew that at midnight funtime would be over and the new plan would begin!
I call my plan hopscotch. It's similar to my previous checkerboard plan but smarter. On the checkerboard I might have binged on the days that I had to eat and never lose any weight. Yeah I may have lost two pounds on the fast, but I was almost guaranteed to put them on the next day. In this plan, I fast for two days, eat one day and so on. I'll lose 5-7 pounds during the fasting and gain back maybe one or two (you never know). So let's see, about 6-10 pounds a week. That sounds soooo good. And doable. I'm starting tomorrow so let's see how it goes!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
I call my plan hopscotch. It's similar to my previous checkerboard plan but smarter. On the checkerboard I might have binged on the days that I had to eat and never lose any weight. Yeah I may have lost two pounds on the fast, but I was almost guaranteed to put them on the next day. In this plan, I fast for two days, eat one day and so on. I'll lose 5-7 pounds during the fasting and gain back maybe one or two (you never know). So let's see, about 6-10 pounds a week. That sounds soooo good. And doable. I'm starting tomorrow so let's see how it goes!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Plans
Hey guys,
So I made it through the second day but it was insanely hard. I had 440 cals today in the form of a smoothie, and I was 226.5 today!!! Woo! However, I am not sure if I'll continue the fast. I was peering into the freezer today, correction SEARCHING, for this bag of hershey's kisses. I thought if I had a few I would be able to survive. Good thing though, it turns out my mom threw them out. She said it was crappy chocolate. So I made it through the day. But I feel so idk, lost. I wanted to go at least until the third fast day, and feel really accomplished, but I just I feel so strange. I ran outta coffee, my magical appetite supressant. I don't want to quit, not only because if I don't make it I'll feel like I let you guys down, and I'll get those looks from my parents. You know the ones: I told you not to do this psycho crap and you didn't even follow through. I am a perfectionist and I aim to please. If I don't "officially" quit the fast outright to them, I would have to go around nibbling on scraps like a mouse (that might actually work). I don't want to lie, I pride myself on NOT having to lie, to prove this life isn't as devious as the media makes it out to be, but idk what to do!! This may be my late night crisis and I'll wake up in the morning ready to fast but I doubt it. I know I restrict well, and I don't want to set myself up for a binge. What do I do girls???? I know I am a weakling, but I beg your forgiveness and ask for guidance.
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
PS: thanx for all the support on my last post. I love you guys!
---------------------------------------------------
Edit:
I did break my fast. So very very sorry to all who were rooting for me. However, I did make it through 50 hours, which is a record for me. I did work out hard before I ate though. My ass is killing me!!! Lol, I hate my butt, I shall punish it for staying around. So monday(today!) will lovely restriction. I'll update weights and such in the morn!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
So I made it through the second day but it was insanely hard. I had 440 cals today in the form of a smoothie, and I was 226.5 today!!! Woo! However, I am not sure if I'll continue the fast. I was peering into the freezer today, correction SEARCHING, for this bag of hershey's kisses. I thought if I had a few I would be able to survive. Good thing though, it turns out my mom threw them out. She said it was crappy chocolate. So I made it through the day. But I feel so idk, lost. I wanted to go at least until the third fast day, and feel really accomplished, but I just I feel so strange. I ran outta coffee, my magical appetite supressant. I don't want to quit, not only because if I don't make it I'll feel like I let you guys down, and I'll get those looks from my parents. You know the ones: I told you not to do this psycho crap and you didn't even follow through. I am a perfectionist and I aim to please. If I don't "officially" quit the fast outright to them, I would have to go around nibbling on scraps like a mouse (that might actually work). I don't want to lie, I pride myself on NOT having to lie, to prove this life isn't as devious as the media makes it out to be, but idk what to do!! This may be my late night crisis and I'll wake up in the morning ready to fast but I doubt it. I know I restrict well, and I don't want to set myself up for a binge. What do I do girls???? I know I am a weakling, but I beg your forgiveness and ask for guidance.
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
PS: thanx for all the support on my last post. I love you guys!
---------------------------------------------------
Edit:
I did break my fast. So very very sorry to all who were rooting for me. However, I did make it through 50 hours, which is a record for me. I did work out hard before I ate though. My ass is killing me!!! Lol, I hate my butt, I shall punish it for staying around. So monday(today!) will lovely restriction. I'll update weights and such in the morn!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
On To The New Year
Hey guys!
Hope your Christmases went well and thank you all for your well wishes! I am happy to report three things:
1) I finally got my scale to work!
Yep, I moved it into my bathroom because according to the scale, my bedroom floor wasn't level. So now I get the same number three times in a row (though I do weigh myself backwards because I can never quite stand still, lol).
2) Post Christmas I am 230 lbs. I know what you're thinking: this isn't great news, this awful, you're up 9.5lbs from your low weight! That is true, but, BUT, this means that I am now going to be able to bounce back down quickly and also that over the course of thanksgiving AND christmas, I managed to maintain a 40 lbs loss. I know I'm always griping about how overweight I am and such, but when it comes down to it, I used to be much heavier. 270 lbs. As long as I stay low and maintain most of my losses, I am happy. Besides, gaining 9.5 is a drop in the bucket compared to losing 40.
3) I fasted today :)))
Honestly, I actually fasted today. I had 270 cals in coffee and then only water. I am soooo proud. This is the first time I've ever made it through a fast w/o a c&s or a couple of spoonfuls of SOMETHING. But not today my loves, I made my dad a delicious bfast, and watched him and my mom eat lunch and dinner. My trick? I realized that I never like being left out of things. I'm highly competitive and I don't like seeing others get things that I don't. So food was just another one of those things. I had my parents set aside my last piece of carrot cake and my shrimp buns and my piece of quiche. I said I can eat it on new year's day if I want. Who knows, the quiche might spoil, the cake might get hard in the fridge and maybe I won't wind up eating it, but knowing IT'S MINE and no one will touch it and I'm not missing out on anything puts me at ease. So day one of my six day fast is complete and successful. Let's pray tomorrow goes just as well. Wish me luck!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Hope your Christmases went well and thank you all for your well wishes! I am happy to report three things:
1) I finally got my scale to work!
Yep, I moved it into my bathroom because according to the scale, my bedroom floor wasn't level. So now I get the same number three times in a row (though I do weigh myself backwards because I can never quite stand still, lol).
2) Post Christmas I am 230 lbs. I know what you're thinking: this isn't great news, this awful, you're up 9.5lbs from your low weight! That is true, but, BUT, this means that I am now going to be able to bounce back down quickly and also that over the course of thanksgiving AND christmas, I managed to maintain a 40 lbs loss. I know I'm always griping about how overweight I am and such, but when it comes down to it, I used to be much heavier. 270 lbs. As long as I stay low and maintain most of my losses, I am happy. Besides, gaining 9.5 is a drop in the bucket compared to losing 40.
3) I fasted today :)))
Honestly, I actually fasted today. I had 270 cals in coffee and then only water. I am soooo proud. This is the first time I've ever made it through a fast w/o a c&s or a couple of spoonfuls of SOMETHING. But not today my loves, I made my dad a delicious bfast, and watched him and my mom eat lunch and dinner. My trick? I realized that I never like being left out of things. I'm highly competitive and I don't like seeing others get things that I don't. So food was just another one of those things. I had my parents set aside my last piece of carrot cake and my shrimp buns and my piece of quiche. I said I can eat it on new year's day if I want. Who knows, the quiche might spoil, the cake might get hard in the fridge and maybe I won't wind up eating it, but knowing IT'S MINE and no one will touch it and I'm not missing out on anything puts me at ease. So day one of my six day fast is complete and successful. Let's pray tomorrow goes just as well. Wish me luck!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Friday, December 25, 2009
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!!!
Hello Skinnies!
Hope you guys have a very merry Christmas and enjoy yourselves. Unlike the mass anxiety I had about thanksgiving, Christmas is the time of year when I throw cares to the wind, have fun, and plan my new year's resolutions. So have fun my skinnies!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Hope you guys have a very merry Christmas and enjoy yourselves. Unlike the mass anxiety I had about thanksgiving, Christmas is the time of year when I throw cares to the wind, have fun, and plan my new year's resolutions. So have fun my skinnies!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Restricted Access
Hey guys!
Yes I know, too many hiatuses. Idk, I used to blog all the time but I got sick of it being a rollercoaster. However, I have become master of my domain. I'm 225.5 today after gaining a shitload of water weight for no good reason. I'm guessing aunt flo is coming to town soon, but hasn't shown up yet, and it is driving me CRAZY!!!(Sorry if that's tmi you guys).
In other news my scale is completely wonky. I was on it like four days ago and I jilted it the wrong way and it cracked. Nothing visible (I checked) so I thought it was fine, but ever since then it has been giving me horrible readings. I weighed 230 with clothes but I'm 231.5 without?? (That was last nite) so this morning 225.5 came up 2 out of 4 times so I decided to count my blessings and take it.
I am out to buy a new scale, so if you guys know of any good ones from chain stores let me know. I was thinking about the weight watchers body fat scale or the health o meter body fat scale. I have read good reviews about accuracy about those so let me know. I am hoping that my scale is highly inaccurate and I weigh something much much less! *crosses fingers* oh another thing is that I can't spend that much cash so let's keep it under $50 please?
I am kinda bored over here. All of my friends are gone and my mom has been working lately so the fam hasn't been completely toghether. Also, my brother, his wife, and their four kids (yes FOUR) are estranged. I have never met my bro's wife or their kids. Our whole relationship has been restricted to phone calls. Sad, I know.
I was supposed to be fasting today with sorry_i_can't_be_perfect, but I get dangerous when I fast and there is nothing but once a year type food lying around. So it's easier for me to restrict as I have finally realized it's not only about eating less, but also what you eat. I've had a pecan and feta salad and a couple of ladyfinger like cookies. I am pretty happy, the salad wasn't big and it took forever to eat. So I am saited. I think I'll restrict until after christmas and then do a six day fast to be clean and pink inside for the new year and then decide what to do from there. I want to be 180 for January 11, when my semester starts, which I doubt will happen, but I wanna get as close as possible. At least under 200. We'll see.
Okay, no more hiatuses and hello to new followers!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
Yes I know, too many hiatuses. Idk, I used to blog all the time but I got sick of it being a rollercoaster. However, I have become master of my domain. I'm 225.5 today after gaining a shitload of water weight for no good reason. I'm guessing aunt flo is coming to town soon, but hasn't shown up yet, and it is driving me CRAZY!!!(Sorry if that's tmi you guys).
In other news my scale is completely wonky. I was on it like four days ago and I jilted it the wrong way and it cracked. Nothing visible (I checked) so I thought it was fine, but ever since then it has been giving me horrible readings. I weighed 230 with clothes but I'm 231.5 without?? (That was last nite) so this morning 225.5 came up 2 out of 4 times so I decided to count my blessings and take it.
I am out to buy a new scale, so if you guys know of any good ones from chain stores let me know. I was thinking about the weight watchers body fat scale or the health o meter body fat scale. I have read good reviews about accuracy about those so let me know. I am hoping that my scale is highly inaccurate and I weigh something much much less! *crosses fingers* oh another thing is that I can't spend that much cash so let's keep it under $50 please?
I am kinda bored over here. All of my friends are gone and my mom has been working lately so the fam hasn't been completely toghether. Also, my brother, his wife, and their four kids (yes FOUR) are estranged. I have never met my bro's wife or their kids. Our whole relationship has been restricted to phone calls. Sad, I know.
I was supposed to be fasting today with sorry_i_can't_be_perfect, but I get dangerous when I fast and there is nothing but once a year type food lying around. So it's easier for me to restrict as I have finally realized it's not only about eating less, but also what you eat. I've had a pecan and feta salad and a couple of ladyfinger like cookies. I am pretty happy, the salad wasn't big and it took forever to eat. So I am saited. I think I'll restrict until after christmas and then do a six day fast to be clean and pink inside for the new year and then decide what to do from there. I want to be 180 for January 11, when my semester starts, which I doubt will happen, but I wanna get as close as possible. At least under 200. We'll see.
Okay, no more hiatuses and hello to new followers!
XOXO,
Scarlet <3
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