Monday, July 27, 2009

Binging on an eat day

Hey y'all,
so I binged today. I kno, i kno, the checkerboard is supposed to be binge-free, and for the most part it has been. I should explained tho that this was not just any binge. it was not scarfing down everything in sight or even eating wayy more than i was supposed to. no, this binge was in a whole other category: the planned binge. let out your gasps. yes, i planned mi binge. *quickly hides behind Ana for cover, but realized that hiding behind rock gives much more safety as Ana wants to kill me and would probably serve me up to her followers* okay now that i've said is, just like the checkerboard plan, this too works entirely on logic (sorry guys, i'm an engineering major, i have to work with logic). So if you have the average binge, you scarf down everything without control, only focused on food and your animalistic taking of it. for some of you, you throw up after this, work yourselves out to death, cry, take endless laxies, or do all of the above. this is not good. this isn't even healthy(excluding the workout, that's always good). and it sets you up for more binging.

so i came up with the planned binge or PB. here's how it works. say you feel a binge coming on. DON"T GIVE IN! this is part of the process. wait a day and see if it passes. sometimes binge-feelings just come and go based on emotions. Also sorry, but if u'r on your period DON'T GIVE IN as it is completely hormone related and not actually you. if your binge-feelings do not pass, don't grab the first thing you see, it's just not smart. that's the point of planning. here's the step by step:

1) Allot money for your binge. i normally only do a dollar for a binge. if i'm buying something expensive, i.e. cookies or something, then two dollars.

2) decide where to buy it. ok, this is important. it depends on u'r situation. since i am on a diet and everyone knows it i can't just binge on whatever i like. it has to be hidden and silent. if you have been freaking your fam out with u'r Ana, then you must make sure someone sees you. also make sure you aren't animalistic this will make you look deprived like you haven't seen food in a few days (albeit this may be true). I normally pick gas stations. my fam drives a prius so we don't go but maybe once or twice a week to fill up. this makes me wait for it.

3) pick something! i normally pick the regular blowpops. they have candy and gum and they only run me 60cals a pop. also, they only cost 25 cents so i can get 4 for a dollar and the binge only runs me 240cals total. from what i've read on other blogs the average binge runs about 750cals or more, so i've saved you 500 cals or more just by planning!!

4) eat it but do something while doing it so your mind doesn't think: Hell yeah, this is no holds barred, lets go nuts cause it's not happening again!!! i play solitare while eating so my mind thinks this is something normal. by planning your binge you can cut cals over the course of a few days to cover it, instead of after, you know how many cals are in your binge so you aren't agonizing, and it's an overall easy experience. at the you'll be like, okay my craving is gone, but that wasn't that enjoyable so i don't feel the need to do it anytime soon. that way you have cut cals on your binge and only had one binge as opposed to a few or more.

5) For God's sake don't purge your binge. it won't help. i think bulimia is crazy bad and it won't help. Ana is the safe way.*just laughed outloud, no ED is safe, but some won't hurt you as bad* Bulimia will rot your teeth, and your esophagus, and everyone will know you are bulimia because of the marks it leaves on your body, the tell-tale signs. no one knows about ana until you are rail thin and have reached your goal and it doesn't really matter at that point.

6) if you are a suspected ana, calmly eat your binge in front of people. be really cutesy and girly about it. talk, do something that gives off that you are at ease. then the next time people tell you they never see you eat you can bring up the binge like: "Yeah you do, i just had some (insert binge food) not too long ago" be super easy and laugh at them like they're crazy and roll your eyes. Don't mention how many days ago or how many or what amount of binge food you had. a joke from DL Hughley in Kings of comedy said "some people say, i'm not racist, i've had three black people over mi house. if you know how many black people you had over your house you're racist than a motherfuka." the same rule applies to ana. if you say exactly when and what you had, you're blantantly ana and everyone will know. once i had a crush on a guy and he wore a shirt he wore two weeks before when i saw him and i said "oh you wore that on monday two weeks ago." i was just making an observation but he was all, "REALLY, i didn't notice." it was so blatant that i pay attention to him. and why would i pay attention to him, cause i had a crush on him and it was totally obvious. please girls, DON'T BE OBVIOUS!!!

so yeah my binge was 4 blow pops: watermelon, strawberry, and two sour apples. i bought them at a gas station. they cost me one dollar. they cost me 240 cals. i won't have them again for a while. I don't feel (that) guilty because i was in control. and that's what ana's all about rite? Never losing control. So don't lose control girls, even when you're weak you have to be strong.
XOXOXO,
Scarlet <3

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