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Okay, so I made it through day four, all the way to this morning. I weighed in at 211! Wooooooooo! However, this is where the water fast hits the road. My dad is sick and I am around him 24/7. Yesterday when we picked my mom up from work I had a bit of a cough. She FREAKED. She said I couldn't get sick because one, she doesn't want me sick, and two, I have to do this honor marshal thing at my school's commencement ceremony (no I am not a grad, just helping out), and I just got a 10 week summer research job that starts soon. So she said basically that the water fast was over and that I had to get some nutrition. Damn. So this morning I said I'd settle for a liquid fast. My parents definition of a liquid fast and my definition are different. You guys already know mine, theirs is that it's mostly liquid, but it can still have a small solid component. *bangs head against wall* so my mom made me this drink which is like that carnation breakfast drink whatever that they have. Only a small small solid component. You should've seen me though. I was about to drink it and I had to put it down, go to my room and calm myself. It's only 80cal but it was a major headtrip for me. I think I'll have to drink it in the morning for a while, but soon they'll assume I drank it and I can opt for carrot juice or something. However I think they would've been okay with me drinking carrot juice but we ran out of carrots so we have to buy some and then my mom has to juice them. That should happen later on today so maybe today will be the only one that's not a complete liquid fast. Yay. But this could be good for me I guess. Who knows what might've happened in the future? Maybe this is God's way of sparing me an impending binge or something and that's always a good thing right? Ugh I am so confused right now. I feel like idk, like this is my fault. Like I shouldn't have gotten that cough (which mysteriously went away after I had the drink)...idk, I'm not going to let it stop me. I wasn't going to blog today but I can't leave you guys in the dark because I don't want to 'fess up. So liquid fast rules are now in effect! Aim for 500cal, no more than 800cal and the bfast lunch dinner and two snacks format. Water is an anytime food. :P
I can't believe how much my figure has changed though, I look really good. I'm wearing a boho style outfit with flowy fabric and I don't look like a whale. I look cute and stylish!!! I haven't been able to do that in a looooong time. Also I have awesome news. Yesterday I was talking to my mom about what to wear as an honor marshal tomorrow and I need dockers. Being a fashionista, I don't own a single pair of dockers, lol. I HATE them. But my mom has zillions of dockers. So she's all well, I've got some dockers that I just wore yesterday, if you fit them you can wear them on saturday. Otherwise you're gonna have to wear those black pants you have somewhere in your room (I am a notoriously messy person,lol). I asked her what size they were and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "fourteen, that's my size remember?" I was nervous. I mean my sixteens are looser on me but it's not like they are falling off, and maybe those other pants were a different cut, and in no way could lighting strike the same place twice...or can it? The pants went smoothly up my skinnier frame. Fastened at the waist, with freaking SPACE in the back. I was like omg!!!!! But then I looked down at the dockers and I was like, "I hate dockers though they make my stomach look pouchy" and for the second time that day my mom looked at me like I was insane.
"Turn around" I did "you don't have a stomach, there's nothing there to make look pouchy. There's nothing there!" Hahahahahahaha, I love my mother. But when I looked in the mirror she wasn't lying. I actually looked...good? Yay!!!! Thank you water fasting!!!!!
I am honestly happy. Sad about the water fast ending but happy that I am skinnier and not sick (because that would suck). So I'll lose weight with the force of a twister rather than a tornado. Lol.
Also thank you guys for your sweet comments about my parents. They aren't getting a divorce my dad was just upset. He does that sometimes because a long long time ago (like 14, 15 years) my dad's boss (a woman) was kind of sexually harassing him. He filed charges. Boss fired. My dad becomes a target of the company. Fast forward four years and my dad gets a stress related nervous system disease that can't be cured and is highly serious and can cause death if he stays under high stress. Believe me when I tell you his job was high stress. So the company actually forced him on disability rather than making accomodations. Insert complaining to government and you get here ten years later where the government is still investigating and my dad is not working. And none of his old friends talk to him because they are backstabbing assholes. So occasionally, he gets depressed and blames my mom and then slaps back to his senses and is okay. It doesn't happen often which is why it took me by surprise.
Also, my dad isn't a bad influence so to speak, he's just like everyone else you know? Like when you and your friends go out to lunch and they get normal stuff you can't have or if you're able to say you're on a diet and they completely support you to the point of irritation. Or they tell you that you deserve something for all the great strides you've made. Like devil's advocate and God's angel all rolled into one. Lol. So please don't blame him for my short falls. :)
Comments!
Ana Banana: Yeah, it's not gonna happen again. I'm feeling really great right now and I can SEE a difference now. :) thanks babe.<3
Gracile: thank you so much for your concern, you're such a sweetheart <3
Ihaightjessie: aw nice to know I'm not alone. :)
Charlie: omg babe that comment was not awkward at all. Thank you so much and I love you (in a non-awkward way) :) <3
Skinnybusiness: ah, I've missed your comments my dear!!!!! Thank you so much and I am totally aggressive right now. I want what I want and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get it! Yeah, I can talk to you guys about anything...probably more than the regular people I know (not that you guys aren't regular lol). I was always raised to be so private and don't tell people all of your business, etc. Probably why I have a hard time being social with people now! Thanks babe and I totally <3 you. :)
Thank you for making to the bottom of this ridiculously long post, you all get hugs!!! Yay!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
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