It's Not Me, It's You (or is it the other way around?)

Dear food,
I hate you. You disgust me. Even when I don't give into you and am very controlled, I hate that I have to think about you. Every. Single. Second. Will you make me gain? Can I have you? I'm so sorry but not really, I think you need to find someone else to annoy.
May many curses fall upon you and may you rot in hell,
Scarlet

Back to your regulary scheduled blog.

I am done with food. Seriously. I did so well today. The only solid was a kashi golean bar and some random samples. Everything else was liquid, which was just some carrot/veggie juice and a smoothie. I didn't even start eating till like 4:30pm. And yet here I am, wondering. Did I eat little enough? Will I lose weight?? I am sooo done with this shit. I am officially liquid fasting until further notice. If I am too bitchass to do that for a while then I deserve to have food riding my brain like a giddy up horse. I like the carefree existence I have with liquid fasting, and BONUS, I don't have to worry about passing out in front of someone (though I've never passed out in my life and have no idea what the warning signs are). So that's the plan. I must be under 200 lbs. I keep pushing back the deadline yet never moving towards it. Something must change. It is almost APRIL. I was supposed to be 195 by the start of MARCH! I must lose, and soon! My first goal is under 210. Then it's all single digits to get below 200. This must be done by APRIL 15. Hold me to it. If you ever hear so much as a waivering in my voice remind me. That gives me 21 days. Three weeks. Gotta lose like 20 lbs (or less, haven't weighed myself yet, probably won't though, don't have the mindset). I will do this. If you wanna join in let me know! We can form a big network!!!! Liquids for 21 days!!!
In other news, I didn't get to see SC today. He didn't show up to class. *tears* also, I didn't get him a gift because technically I'm not supposed to know his bday. That info was courtesy of google (he has a VERY unusual name. Nice, but unusual). So I was going to nicely lure it outta him. It's okay, I might see him tomorrow and I know I'll see him thursday in physics class and lab.
Speaking of physics lab, I have arrived at a very strange conclusion: my TA has a crush on me. Now, this has been rolling around in my head for a minute because he's always teasing me. Like playfully. Oh physics is the central science, not chemistry, he tells SC (because SC is thinking of changing his major from physics, but NOT to chemistry so the comment made no sense except to me, the chemical engineering major). Then on thursday I turned in my quiz at recitation and sat back in my seat. At recitation after the quiz you can leave, unless you want to see the solution and ask questions.
"Oh you're staying? You're not absolutely positive you got everything right?" He asks a tad mockingly. I half roll my eyes.
"No it's not that, it's just that I don't have anywhere to go right now." Burn! He eases into the back of his chair.
"Oh, well, you could always stay and help me study for my qualifiers." His qualifiers were friday and he had his flash cards or whatever, but this is for him to graduate with a MASTER's DEGREE in physics. I am in an undergraduate physics 2. Are you kidding me!?! It was funny too because I think SC kinda looked at the TA weird at that comment. Yay, he cares when the 24 year old TA is nonchalantly hitting on me! The hilarious thing though is that the TA doesn't know I'm 17!!! (Neither does SC, he just knows I'm a third year. But hopefully one day he'll ask so I won't look like a cougar!!! Rawr!)Hahahahahaha
"No I'll have something to do by then." I reply smoothly. Yeah, like talking to SC. Also, my TA looks like a who. You know like as in Whoville? Yeah, so that was never going to fly. Not even if I was still 270 and especially not when I'm 220.
Anyway...I am so happy with you guys!!!! I mean wow, it's awesome to have so much support and love going around. M-ilie, Mina Belle, Charlie, Emily, SkinnyBusiness, and Bl33ding Truth (aka Secret), I love you all so much and you are the greatest thing since the digital scale. Haha. <3<3<3<3<3<3 (one big hug for each!!!)
XOXO,
Scarlet <3