Sooo, I wound up eating yesterday. It was painful for me too because I'd just about made it through the fourth day. I ate some curry tofu salad, and some grapes, and a banana. Then later (we were out late) I had some pop chips and a luna bar. So for solids, not over 900 probably. I actually forced the pop chips on myself because I wanted to induce guilt. If it had just been the other stuff without the chips, I might have just seen it as a blip, something acceptable, something I can ignore. However, when I regard something as a blip, it normally happens again and a bit more. Next thing I know I'll be eating full force so I can't let that happen. Another problem I've had in the past was that after a fail I would just say: "oh well, that's over, gonna go back to restricting". And I never do the restriction right and gain the weight back. But not this time. This time, it was a big fail, but I'm still going. Why stop? I can deff burn off anything I ate with three more days of fasting and exercise! I might even wind up lighter. So zat, my lovelys, is ze plan.
Anyway...only one interesting thing has happened to me since yesterday. Well, a few things. First, I got bras!!! Woot! Okay, okay, maybe this isn't that exciting, but it's a big deal for me. I have big boobs and if I don't get new bras, they turn into saggy big boobs. So now I look like jane mansfield or mae west! Yay! This means, in short: I look hot. Also, I got this super sweet pair of converses. I love them!! I can lace them all the way up to mid calf or I can roll them down and show the pink plaid inside!!! They are really cute!!! Oh and I got a plaid umbrella to match said shoes.
Um, I had some communication with JJ finally. JJ is a guy I've known since I was like idk, 6 or 7. We used to hate each other. I totally beat the crap out of him once when we were 8, and non-severly injured him numerous times over the years. We even used to be homeschooled together! But then we grew up and lost touch. I got fat and he, well, he's a model now (so he says. I haven't seen any posters). But we're friends on facebook and never talk. I sent him a message once to see how he's been and he never answered. So I gave up. Not that I have a crush on him or anything, it's just, I couldn't believe all those years went out the window!! But I've upgraded my pics with my vacay photos from oklahoma, and then I commented on his status because he quoted that movie remember me: our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. But he actually commented back! I was shocked. I mean it was short but it's better than nothing so I guess that's pretty interesting.
Comments from the cool people!
GTMS-Becca: aww thanks babe, positivity is the key to success!!! Anger just makes you depressed and give up! Never give up!!! Haha my aunt was totally jealous! :)